Erin Fogg says Free Link
@criminalerin
This is a police hating and human existence loving account Whenever I do satire everyone thinks its news and whenever I do news everyone thinks it's satire so good luck with these posts I guess On Mastodon: Criminalerin.jorts.horse She/they/guy
"The officer was trying to shoot the dog" is something cops say at least 30 times a day every single day of every single year
Yea lemme get 4 Tahoes and 55 spy systems 55 spy system licenses 55 antennas 55 Fourth Amendment violations 55 nuggets 55 different spy systems 55 tots
Adults: Teens are so lazy, sleeping all day all summer Summer all day:
I went to the US for the World Cup and all I got was explosive diarrhea parasites and this shirt
Exactly what does "image 1" describe about this for people who rely on screenreaders? Alt text: a brain scan per
You know what they say, before enlightenment, chop wood and carry water. After enlightenment, buy a forestry harvester and automate yourself some dang aqueducts then get so stressed when some nature appears near u that you need to go lie down so your blood pressure is normal for family photos
Today's a great day to subscribe to the Truth in Sadvertising labeler bsky.app/profile/us-g...
You don’t understand scale. Use $50 to buy 10 bullets. Shoot them into the sky. In 6 months you have 250 shell casings Plant them. 6 months you have 6,250 bullets. Shoot them. 6 months you have 156k shell casings. Plant them. 6 mo you have 3.9MM bottles of bullets. Sell them for $1 each.
Oh let's fucking go ttyl (in like 3 days when I finish this and HAVE TO WAIT MORE)
China: weak, soft, only experienced one measley century of humiliation America: tuff, thriving, 250 years of nothing but humiliation and going strong as ever
Tired: Mean girl Communist dimwits making the hell, bringing it with us Wired apparently: The Communist Party is made up of illegal immigrants, criminals, and everybody that doesn't want to work!
Missed opportunity for NOW to make babydoll t shirts reading Glenn Sacks is not a suitable leader of the men's rights movement 🐰 throw rocks at him
U might think I hate technology but I do not I actually adore it which is why whatever the fuck we got going on at present makes me so mad all the time IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE LIKE THIS
Another normal day in a normal and tbh healthy empire that is not dying by its own hand it is THRIVING and so is the emperor and he is NOT mad do NOT put it in the monthly COGNITIVE SCREENING REPORT
Gross violations of civil rights couched as measures to protect children is sadly still on the menu in fact it seems to be the only thing on the menu what is this restaurant this place sucks
"BusPatrol, a company that specializes in stop-arm cameras that capture images of drivers illegally passing school buses. The company claims to have over 40,000 of these cameras deployed across 24 states. They use AI software to automatically review images and submit them to law enforcement."
The grossest worst thing Hannibal Lecter is bite his fork lol
Updating my CV to reflect my expertise in Eating Noises
She's just so good???? And she's already putting on some weight!!
The penultimate paragraph in this story suggests the closing paragraph of this story, particularly the "isolated incident" part, may not be fully accurate
I think it's not a great thing for society that whenever you tell your children what it is the president of the largest nuclear armed military on Earth is up to lately that you also have to explain who Caligula was & that he didn't just try to make his horse a senator but also did make him a priest