Cristian Ramirez

@cristianramirez

That one guy from Cracked, Small Beans, and Gamefully Unemployed. Usually depressed, rarely funny.

206 Folgt2.156 Follower6.648 Posts

Bluesky

Ist das dein Profil?Übernimm es — dann gehört dir cristianramirez.dirty.social.Profil übernehmen

Cristian Ramirez@cristianramirez· 2d

Pictures are working again! Post something stupid from your phone.

A pachycephalosaurus kisses a large breasted brunette woman in the foreground among some trees. A grey alien head peers at them through the trees in the background. Text reads: How this make you feel white boy?

Cristian Ramirez@cristianramirez· 6d

A large black horse with lots of wavy hair and a bridle with a red headband that looks extra fancy.

Me petting a dark brown miniature horse named Raven.

An emu in one of the fenced exhibits. It looks at me with its neck curled in an s shape.

Cristian Ramirez@cristianramirez· 6d

Decided to take myself to the OC Fair today for some food and animal enrichment.

Five Oreos deep fried in batter, sprinkled with powdered sugar, and drizzled with chocolate sauce.

A Maui Chicken slider with coleslaw in a Hawaiian roll sits in a small cardboard tray on my knee while I hold a circular slice of pineapple on a stick that’s deep fried in batter, drizzled with chocolate sauce, and sprinkled with coconut flakes.

I hold a simple burger, and three slices of deep fried avocado with a lemon wedge in one hand. The burger and avocado each have their own small cardboard tray.

I hold a peach softserve float (in peach juice) with a small pink umbrella and spoon sticking out of the cup.

Cristian Ramirez@cristianramirez· 12d

idk exactly what it all means but a Cyborg called “The Tide” sounds rad as hell

A chart describing my posting patterns. Text reads:

CADENCE
96th
very metronomic
CHORUS
77th
broadcast
VIGIL
26th nocturnal gaps
DRIFT
39th
a different person
LEXICON
89th
very narrow
POLISH
77th
immaculate
95
CYBORG
The Tide
You arrive on schedule, and the schedule has a night in it.
@cristianramirez.bsky.social
6,624 posts over 1,120 days
b.mino.mobi/palm • percentile among 77 accounts, not a probability

Cristian Ramirez@cristianramirez· 15d

I may just be an elder millennial pop-punk/emo, but Jimmy Eat World releasing Clarity (99), Bleed American (01), and then Futures (04) all in the span of 5 years is hard to beat. I also just saw them on the 24th and they’re just as good now as they were when I first saw them 24 years ago.

Four squares going clockwise from top left: a bluish grey shape looking like reflections under water, a red picture of fuzz looking like zoomed in lint, blue sparkly water surface, then what looks like a yellow underwater picture of a tree trunk. The text “JIMMY EAT WORLD. CLARITY” is centered.

The top of a cigarette machine with 7 bowling trophies of different sizes against a blue wall. Top text reads, “JIMMY EAT WORLD BLEED AMERICAN”

A black and white photo of someone standing in the dark outside of a phone booth, which is the main source of light. There are also small lights dotting a black horizon in the background. Top text reads, “JIMMY EAT WORLD FUTURES”

Jimmy Eat World performing live in front of a packed audience. Everyone is bathed in red light.

Cristian Ramirez@cristianramirez· 17d

til that Sherk from the Sherk Franchise can move up to 26.1 mph or 42 km/h

Cristian Ramirez@cristianramirez· 20d

Lowkey crazy that explosive diarrhea is only a deal breaker for 2% of Taco Bell customers

Image of a Taco Bell sign and location. Headline reads:

TACO BELL SALES FELL 2%
AFTER CYCLOSPORA OUTBREAK
CNN

Cristian Ramirez@cristianramirez· 25d

Getting to see rad new (to me) bands like @illuminatihotties.bsky.social is why I always get to shows before the openers do their set!

Cristian Ramirez@cristianramirez· Jul 20

Avengers: Doomsday spoilers…

Thor looking shocked. Text reads:
- It’s not possible.

Cristian Ramirez@cristianramirez· Jul 9

Well well well, look who isn’t so crazy for saving this clip in 2022!

Cristian Ramirez@cristianramirez· Jul 4

Added an appropriate soundtrack

Cristian Ramirez@cristianramirez· Jul 2

Since op deleted, this was the obviously fake ai image in question with his real truth social post on it

A real post from Trump’s Truth Social on top of an obviously fake ai image of the Great American State Fair with an insane swarm of people generated in it. Text from his post reads:

Do you think people appreciate what a fantastic job we did in building and operating the Great American State Fair at the National Mall, packed with happy people, and everybody loving it? Ask yourself this simple question, "DO YOU THINK THAT OBUMA OR SLEEPY JOE BIDEN COULD HAVE DONE IT?" THE ANSWER IS NO!

Cristian Ramirez@cristianramirez· Jun 24

I may not be a chef, but I CAN make the fuck out of pies and cobblers

A strawberry, blueberry, and blackberry cobbler in a cast iron pan

Cristian Ramirez@cristianramirez· Jun 21

I was lucky enough to have 17 good years with this sweet girl. “Cat dad” feels a little silly, but I loved my girl a ton

My brown and tan tabby cat Liberty curled up on the couch against my shoulder.

Cristian Ramirez@cristianramirez· Jun 16

Cristian Ramirez@cristianramirez· Jun 6

Finally did it #NBASky

Screenshot from a game of 82-0. Text Reads:

PROJECTED RECORD
82-0 S
HOOP IQ MODE
TEAM OVR
113
PG
Luka Dončić
LAL • 2020s
SG
Pete Maravich
UTA • 1970s
SF
Kobe Bryant
LAL • 2010s
PF
Dwight Howard
ORL • 2010s
C
Wilt Chamberlain
GSW • 1960s
Can you go 82-0?
82-0.com

Cristian Ramirez@cristianramirez· Jun 6

Just stumbled on a great game for any other hoop fans out there. (Yes I’m aware of the MJ omission, but Metta, Shai, and Luka were my first 3 picks) #NBASky www.82-0.com/share?id=bWF...

Screen shot of the 82-0 web game. Text reads:

PROJECTED RECORD
63-19 A
HOOP IQ MODE
TEAM OVR
87
PG
Shai Gilgeous-Alexander
OKC • 2020s
SG
Luka Dončić
DAL • 2020s
SF
Metta World Peace
IND • 2000s
PF
Dennis Rodman
CHI • 1990s
Bill Walton
LAC • 1980s
Can you go 82-0?
82-0.com
I just went 63-19, think you can go 82-0?

Cristian Ramirez@cristianramirez· Jun 3

Yup, sorry but making beautiful clothing is just craftwork. If you want it to be art, make it into a tapestry or something

A woman modeling a Chiapaneca style dress with vibrantly colored flowers in yellows, oranges, magentas, blues, and purples, embroidered into black fabric.

Cristian Ramirez@cristianramirez· Jun 2

Hey California, make sure you get out and vote! If you still have a mail-in ballot, you should drop it off at your local voting center!

Me cheesing and holding up my voting sticker.

Cristian Ramirez@cristianramirez· Jun 1

Just a couple days left to get tickets to see a couple of the funniest ladies I know bring their brilliant chaos to a live show!

A poster for Syd and Olivia with their hair standing straight up. Text reads:

SYD & OLIVIA TALK SH*T LIVE!
FRIDAY JUNE 5TH 7PM PST
DYNASTY TYPEWRITER LOS ANGELES
SPECIAL GUEST MILES BONSIGNORE!
IN PERSON
AND
LIVESTREAMED!
WWW.DYNASTYTYPEWRITER.COM/CALENDAR-SQUAD-UP

Cristian Ramirez@cristianramirez· Jun 1

Honestly, if you know anything about Mike, you could definitely see this coming

Text reads:

three years ago. Asked whether he now regretted his years of smoking and drinking, usually thought to be the cause of the disease, Douglas replied: "No. Because without wanting to get too specific, this particular cancer is caused by HPV [human papillomavirus], which actually comes about from cunnilingus."
Douglas, the husband of Catherine Zeta Jones, continued: "I did worry if the stress caused by my son's incarceration didn't help trigger it. But yeah, it's a sexually transmitted disease that causes cancer. And if you have it, cunnilingus is also the best cure for it."

Cristian Ramirez@cristianramirez· May 31

Time for the Spurs and Thunder Game 7

Cristian Ramirez@cristianramirez· May 24

It is the Bluesky way (complimentary)

Comic panel from Watchmen where Dr. Manhattan makes Rorschach explode. Rorschach is labeled “you have to take MY wild interpretation of your post very seriously!!!!” Dr. Manhattan is labeled “no”

Cristian Ramirez@cristianramirez· May 22

9 years in, what’s your favorite moment from the #DarkUniverse?

Screen capture of a promotional tweet. Center is a promotional photo with Russell Crowe, Javier Bardem, Tom Cruise, Johnny Depp, and Sofia Boutella in a dark grey room. Text reads:

#DarkUniverse @darkuniverse
Witness the beginning of a #DarkUniverse.
• Sofia Boutella and Russell Crowe
1:25 p.m. • 22 May 17 • Twitter Web Client

Cristian Ramirez@cristianramirez· May 20

Kinda crazy how online these people are without ever hearing about the Dunning-Kruger Effect

A graph illustrating the Dunning-Kruger Effect. The Y axis represents confidence levels with Low at the bottom and High at the top. The X axis displays competence levels with Know Nothing on the left and Guru on the right. The line representing the effect starts at zero but quickly goes up to the “Peak of ‘Mount Stupid’” where people that know very little display high confidence. The line then dips to the “Valley of Despair” where people who know slightly more have very little confidence. The line then gradually increases along the “Slope of Enlightenment,” where confidence and competence both grow together before reaching the “Plateau of Sustainability,” where both competence and confidence are at high levels.

Cristian Ramirez@cristianramirez· May 16

I learned about this lyric today, and it’s just another reason we need more arts education

A screen grab of Lil Yachty in the middle of a crowd. Text reads:

My new bitch yellow
She blow that dick like a cello
LIL YACHTY "PEEK A BOO

Cristian Ramirez@cristianramirez· May 14

Guillermo and Miyazaki are for the people

Two panel image, top is Hayao Miyazaki drawing on paper, bottom is a still from Princess Mononoke with a girl and a large wolf. Text reads:

Hayao Miyazaki's reaction to AI
generated art
"I am utterly disgusted.
I would never wish to incorporate this technology into my work at all. I strongly feel that this is an insult to lite itself.
I feel like we are nearing the end of times. We humans are losing faith in ourselves.”

Cristian Ramirez@cristianramirez· May 14

A couple of the funniest ladies I know are raising money for a great cause, and I guarantee they are also a great time. www.charitybuzz.com/catalog_item...

A poster featuring comedy duo Syd and Olivia, text reads:

CHARITYBUZZ
Bid on the chance to have lunch in LA with comedy super duo
SYD&OLIVIA
All proceeds benefit
Blood Cancer
United
Visionaries of the Year
@sydandolivia
Head over to www.charitybuzz.com and search "Syd and Olivia"

Cristian Ramirez@cristianramirez· Apr 30

For anyone interested why she dressed like this, it’s 100% meant to evoke something the KKK commonly wears, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise

A black man confronts a column of marching KKK members during a protest in South Carolina. The Klan members are wearing outfits identical to Erika Kirk, except they’ve put racist scout merit badges on theirs.

Cristian Ramirez@cristianramirez· Apr 22

Well, I guess it’s my 40th birthday