Dan Douglas
@dandouglas
obscene low follower count boy
why does “the event” sound kind of ominous. no dawg you aren’t going to the event. the event ain’t for you
rare solo trip away, rare night out, everyone went their separate ways and i found myself ravenous but strictly forbidden from bringing takeaway back to my B&B. so i’m here to tell you that it IS possible to be a teetotal 42-year-old father of two and still smash an entire pizza on a bench at 1am
look at all the shit that comes inside, the person i bought it off even chucked in their save games ❤️
bought a little grippy pushchair fan and it comes with a torch(?) for pure war of the worlds vibes
not only can a tower fan help cool you down it also comes bundled with sick warhammer 40k scenery
excited to see this woman get like an 18-month driving ban (immediately flouted)
i promise to use it only for essential purposes. like chatgpt please show me what all the members of ABBA would look like composited into one person. also how many ‘b’s are there in ABBA
fascinated by this guy who keeps rebuying Maverick (1994) when he gets pissed
my 18-month-old son fucking ~hates~ having his teeth brushed so we have to wrestle him and he pulls this face when he knows we’ve got him
what is going on here… is that capybara holding a knife to the other one’s throat
i think we should be deeply embedding this tech within our education system. as school staffing levels naturally decline, every child should have access to an AI tutor
poop recall guys. if you’ve got an asbestos poop stop using it immediately
every day more evidence that hell is real and we live in it under rule of demons
hey grok here’s me and my family put us in a movie ☺️ [makes horrible incest film] um okay grok not cool less incest this time please [incest toned down 0.01%] grok please make another movie with no incest [churns out nightmarish snuff film]
insane Transformers toy your rich mate owned and you were always jealous of
just wanted to read a kids’ menu online and look at all this fucking shit lmao
“sorry, no credit cards or debit cards accepted” on either machine, obviously no ticket office cos lol imagine that, luckily i had £20 on me, £5.10 for one 28-minute journey, then the machine spat out only pocket-filling coins and with all the bullshit i missed a Metro. fuck SAKE
staying up in South Shields and wildly over-ordered from Delhi 6, everything sounded so good i couldn’t settle and this banquet came to under £19, so much lovely food. made a valiant attempt to smash it solo, got maybe two-thirds through, luckily my leftovers were swiftly claimed
this dude’s CV pinballs around maybe more than George Miller – Scary Movie 3, Chernobyl, The Last of Us and
bought 3 pairs of Nike Vandals for like £18 each at TK Maxx a couple of decades ago, still wearing the least-shredded ones now. fancied a new pair and… maybe not lol. can anyone recommend something similar (high-tops, bouncy soles) from a more ethical, less scumbag brand? cheers