Dan Schwab
@danschwab
I'm a man who doesn't trust the Gorton's Fisherman. What're ya hiding underneath that slicker, bub?
This Sunday morning doodle is based on an illustration and song I did on a piece of poster board way back when the first Spider-Man movie was released.
Caught this sign on some YouTube footage, and I feel that the aggressive use of apostrophes will be bothering me for at least the next few hours...
Moments after this, it made a post on Truth Social about how Taylor Swift isn't even hot.
Sometimes when I have a question nagging at me, I try not to immediately reach for my phone and proceed to work it out on my own...
I dunno... I hope the peelers don't look too much like knives. I was doodling from memory...
How long do you think it will be until Trump's hand makeup artist is recruited to paint eyeballs on sleepy Trump's eyelids? (Sorry. I can't tell if my editing adjustment made him more creepy or somehow less so.)
Stephen Colbert's guest hosting Monroe, Michigan's local news from last night was surreal, and I have been trying to wrangle the best way to describe this piece of absolute art. All I came up with is that he pulled a Marvel Movie end credits bonus scene.
In this frame, I had worried that Colbert would wrap without the appearance of Jon Batiste. But, ya know... good concerts save the best stuff for the very end
That time I rode a dinosaur down south to Florida, but stopped at S.O.B. for unfamiliar colas and novelty items whose humor would not age well in a progressive society.
I usually leave my laundry on the bed just so Artie can climb on and through it. That's what I'm telling folks anyway...
Here's a picture of me in 1992 getting stepped on by the government. Okay, it isn't the govt. It's just the giant toddler from "Honey, I Blew Up the Kid." But, speaking of the government and giant toddlers...
THIS, people.... THIS is what f*cking happens when a government has tossed rule & common sense out the window. There are no more guardrails, folks. We are all doomed and it starts RIGHT HERE with a tall glass of pizza...
"Abortion Water" sounds like a Plan B-infused hard seltzer advertised by Joe Rogan.
I finally came up with a title for this. It's called, "Hey there, sailor... We saw you from across the harbor..."
I'm just saying this feels reminiscent of Victorian times when they would take a posed family photo with the recently departed.
I may not be mentally prepared for Stephen's CBS departure but I am now sartorially prepared. (Profits going to World Central Kitchen was an added bonus for this purchase.)
Trump gathers troops in their masses To protect the oligarchs' fat asses
You think the mucus creature and the toe fungus goblin ever got together for a beer... or sex? You can ask my opinion, or you can ask me for the link to some very specific erotic fan fiction. The working title is "Digger -n- Mukie: Secret of the Ooze." (I may have borrowed that title a bit...)
If you're thinking, "How can Trump be both Putin AND Bibi's puppet?" Just remember... Jabba the Hutt had several puppeteers working him.
At first I thought this was the poster for the next season of American Horror Story. It's admittedly got a Ryan Murphy vibe.
I swear... my phone tells the worst riddles... I don't know, phone... why CAN'T I touch a baby on my period?
So much to be outraged about nowadays. And a company that eliminates watermarks being advertised on Facebook somehow makes the cut for me today. (I added my own watermark)