I've had a body for over 40 years and I'm still bad at it

I miss Christmas

I can't wait to hide retweets from some of you folks that I love dearly.

Oh thank goodness, this was sorely needed.

My ex would spiral for reassurance after every time she harmed me. I would have to tell her that she was right and she wasn't a bad person again and again. It was an awful cycle.

Just leave Google, friends. It's hard, I know. I was using Gmail since the invite-only days. I took the time to move to Proton and it's a breath of fresh air. Allowed me to get away from OneDrive and Microsoft 365 too.

I worked graveyard at Denny's for a year, we had security on staff on the weekends. Hoards of excessively drunk 21 year-old marines would flow in at 2am. I stepped over a brawl to deliver mozzarella sticks. Our parking lot got mace bombed. It was always an adventure.

I see you following all the successful trans women, clout chasers

Time to brush my teeth Step 1: unzip pants

Getting high and hanging out on Indeed.com

It's been 18 months unemployed, constantly applying for jobs. I'm exhausted. I don't feel capable of rounding up the energy and enthusiasm for interviews anymore. I'm just tired.

By the way, I'm fully ordained, I'd be happy to officiate your wedding. If you want funny? I got you. I know wedding comedy-- references available. You want tender and loving? I got you. Previous references still apply. No charge, just pay for travel if necessary.

Help my wife get off!

Mouths are high on animals that can drown. Otherwise it seems optimal to have them at the bottom.

I'm just going wherever my circadian rhythm takes me

I fuckin kicked some ass

Crossfaded and apparently it's time for disk space management

Absolutely. Sounds, voice, whatever just puts me off.

Feeling sad, laid down to play my 3ds, it started crashing again. So now I'm more sad.

DNI: people with "outdoor" cats

I don't think ibuprofen or acetaminophen have ever done anything for me but I still try them out of stubborn hope

That's right, haters, my shittiness is immutable!

Today it feels like all of my usual aches and pains are flaring up at once without clear provocation

1997 is the year of fursona

Doing that thing where I feel like nobody would really be affected if I didn't exist

CMYK codependence craft beer cringey FYI HIV Internet jump scare portobello Secret Santa shock jock sippy cup small ball soul patch sound-bite stud muffin SUV UAV This is so cool. All of these have just "always existed" for me.

You can do it, good girl. You can do it nine times.

Gonna make myself a Karen sona who calls the police whenever she sees kinks she doesn't like

I'm 6'6", my inseam is only 34". I am all torso. I am reverse Jimothy.

DEER I think just deer? I'd choose witch but I haven't earned it.