Defensis Prime

@defensisprime

The genuine, one-of-a-kind article. Accept no substitutes, knockoffs, or unlicensed third-party manufactures. Don't fuckin' follow me just 'cus you saw me repost somethi--dammit, what did I *just* say?!

80 Folgt209 Follower1.118 Posts

Bluesky

Ist das dein Profil?Übernimm es — dann gehört dir defensisprime.dirty.social.Profil übernehmen

Defensis Prime@defensisprime· 25d

I really need it to be like 4° right now. 《{Centigrade or Fahrenheit?}》 Whichever. 20/X #PokémonLegendsZA

《{You'll pay for that later.}》
{Always and willingly.}

Geez, just look at the two of YOU, walkin' around in jackets like it's freezing.

Defensis Prime@defensisprime· 26d

Observed and planned strategy. So...I'm a Headmaster? 19/X #PokémonLegendsZA

—you and a whole friggin' caboodle of other people're definitely gonna be glad I spent all that Infinite Royale money I earned—

—*I* earned—

—WE earned on retrofitting the joint for A/C last spring, ain'tcha?

Defensis Prime@defensisprime· 27d

It only ever happened that one time, calm down. 18/X #PokémonLegendsZA

—and I'm pretty sure the damn thing's gone and committed suicide.

I cleaned up the remains and made certain she didn't touch any mercury.

I WASN'T gonna touch any m—

Lida:
Oh, good—thanks. We were worried.

<sigh> The POINT, my fellow stakeholding FRIENNNNNDS, is—

Defensis Prime@defensisprime· 28d

It was like plunging my face into hell. 17/X #PokémonLegendsZA

—THIS hot-elier just poked her head back out and had a look at the thermometer—

Your puns are still awful.

—and you still love 'em—

Defensis Prime@defensisprime· 28d

NO THIS IS

Defensis Prime@defensisprime· 29d

I love the 90s (decade), but I hate the 90s (Fahrenheit). 16/X #PokémonLegendsZA

Defensis Prime@defensisprime· Jul 13

Shame. Was really eager to find out how I'd taste in the stuff. 《{...}》 Aw, stop—what would you have DONE with one o' my kidneys, anyway? 《{Down payment for a condo.}》 In LUMIOSE? ...shit, d'we still have ice? 《{Daiquiri night.}》 —aw, dang. Those were good, though.. 15/X #PokémonLegendsZA

An hour and one cold bath involving ZERO bottles of shrimp cocktail sauce later...

Defensis Prime@defensisprime· Jul 13

Defensis Prime@defensisprime· Jul 12

Alright, BotCongoers, help me out: I found this sticker abandoned by the dealer room roundtables and I've GOTTA find the artist purveyor badly. I couldn't find 'em in Artist Alley. If you know whose work this is, HOOK ME UP NOT FOR MY SAKE DO IT FOR RODIMEOWS PRIME IT'S ALMOST HIS GOTCHADAYYYYY

Defensis Prime@defensisprime· Jul 12

I can hear an egg frying on a sidewalk. 《{That's your hippocampus.}》 Ridiculous—Hippopotas don't attend college. 《{I'm throwing you into a tub of ice. I haven't decided if you'll keep both your kidneys yet.}》 14/X #PokémonLegendsZA

...I knew that. I woulda remembered. Eventually.
LOOK, I'M ADDLED RIGHT NOW, OKAY?

Oh, I KNOW.

SO mean to me...

Defensis Prime@defensisprime· Jul 11

There, it's over, we never have to experience it again. 《{The heatwave, or your awful lyrics?}》 ...what day is it? 13/X #PokémonLegendsZA

Um...uh...crap, where are my keys? I CAN'T BE LOCKED OUT HERE IN THESE DEATH RAYS!

<sigh>
They're not locked, you utter nit.

Defensis Prime@defensisprime· Jul 11

Stellar. Parked next to the candy van. Yeesh.

Defensis Prime@defensisprime· Jul 11

Lemme be clear. It's subtitled, so as to assist in being a dialogue-along. I could do that myself—that's how I well I know the film. I can do the goddamn VOICES, legit. THIS shit...is torture. I would rather go play more pinball—OH FUCK ME IT'S A SINGALONG *TOO* AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH #BotCon2026

Defensis Prime@defensisprime· Jul 11

This is aimed at only one of you. 🤪 #BotCon2026

Defensis Prime@defensisprime· Jul 10

🎼🎶🎵 I wan-na an-ni-hi-late you (Car-ci-no-ma) I wan-na be there when you die alone Never let-cha live, no (Car-ci-no-ma) Yer a no good bast-ard And I wan-na end you, end you, end you, end you fuc-ker DIE, Car-ci-no-ma 🎶🎵 12/X #PokémonLegendsZA (There're no Pokémon at BotCon—just Pokémon players)

...and we wanted to go out THERE, see, where all the crazy people are?

Yes...

Were WE crazy?

One of was, perhaps.

Defensis Prime@defensisprime· Jul 9

@silverwynde.bsky.social was paranoid about getting 'em wet, and so/yet they took oin a dolphin show with me. <sigh>

Defensis Prime@defensisprime· Jul 9

...oh. Yes, the vaunted 'Hot Pork' combo. Never let anyone tell you that the universe is indifferent. No, no, no. The Universe is a dick. But thefieldbistro sells a good repast...$20 sugar cookies aside. 🤪😁 #PokémonFieldMuseum

Defensis Prime@defensisprime· Jul 9

thefieldbistro sells these at the register for $20 a pop. Let's see what I get...

Defensis Prime@defensisprime· Jul 9

🎼🎶🎵 Oh, car-ci-no-ma Dun-no what to do Car-ci-no-ma I can't real-ly get to you Oh, car-ci-no-ma Dun-no what to do, don't want no Car-ci-no-ma I just wanna de-stroy you Listen, fuc-ker 🎵🎶 11/X #PokémonLegendsZA (On the steps of Chicago's Field Museum as I 'sky this)

Fine, my prawn, let us get you back inside to be shelled and deveined...

HA EUPHEMISMS—wait, I was just out THERE...and now we're together in HERE...

Defensis Prime@defensisprime· Jul 9

An hour and a quarter early. GUESS WE'RE FIRST. #Pokémon #PokémonFossilMuseum

Defensis Prime@defensisprime· Jul 9

Brief stops on the walk to the Field Museum (though we wound up arriving early enough that we probably coulda gotten in on that closer campus parking 🤷‍♀️)

Defensis Prime@defensisprime· Jul 9

Rate Field, where footwear has come TO BATTLE.

Defensis Prime@defensisprime· Jul 8

No, it can't be tonight. It's Pokémon GO night at the ballpark. The ballpark being Rate Field. Had to tell @silverwynde.bsky.social that she probably shouldn't try to bring Lillie's Bag to the stadium. Could NOT get a definitive answer under their bag policy.

Defensis Prime@defensisprime· Jul 8

Connect to the hotel wifi and my FB feed IMMEDIATELY drowns in Chi-town. ...i also know where dinner will be tomorrow night BASTARDS

Defensis Prime@defensisprime· Jul 8

🎼🎵🎶 —You seem to know just what I am plan-nin' And I can't let you go On torch-in' my sweet ass with your hor-ri-ble light Aw, dam-mit, I nev-er knew hate un-til you burned me up 🎶🎵 10/X #PokémonLegendsZA (I dunno—I may have blown all my talent on rewriting "867-5309" for Officer Jenny...)

No, I'm sauteed. Look, I'm turning pink. I'm a shrimp! Dunk me in cocktail sauce, I bet it'll be cold! We should fill a tub! ...COULD we fill a tub? Ooh, we should TOTALLY FILL A TUB!

Defensis Prime@defensisprime· Jul 7

🎼🎶🎵I'm gon-na dim ya Blow you a-way with To-li-an Sor-an's best Haha, haha, haha And when you tell me I'll nev-er make it fly— 🎵🎶 9/X #PokémonLegendsZA (I promise I'm NOT putting in my best effort with these lyrics.)

Alright, back to the hotel. I should have guessed something was wrong when you talked about salmon frying in foil and not baking—that's not a mistake you'd make. YOU'RE what's fried, it seems.

Defensis Prime@defensisprime· Jul 6

🎼🎶🎵 Eve-ry time I'm out in ya I've got no trou-ble tel-lin' you so That I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate you, Sol And I just got to let you know How much I hate you Show and tell you eve-ry freak-in' sun-ny day 🎵🎶 8/X #PokémonLegendsZA (ugh i'm really gonna do the whole thing huh) (fiiine)