Oh balls! Salute your shorts to early voting in MKE, gents! I did my civic duty for #testicle Tuesday. Will you do yours?

Ok fine. You want ass today? Here you go. Now get me another coffee, hold the cream. I like that on my chest. Have the #HumpDay you deserve, kings.

Oh for the love of Reba. I know it’s #humpday but it’s 5:47am and the seagulls are screaming over Milwaukee. Coffee now. #booty later. It’s always #fcf somewhere.

Go on. Get down and swallow my #monochrome bone. Let Dad make you moan your #mcm Mondays away.

I live a good, long hike in the woods. Don’t you? Sometimes you find the best view. Or someone to take a big #sniff.

Feeling a certain way about gardening today. Anyway, I’ll put on a singlet and sip a coffee over it. I’ve got a big German Johnson ready to ripen. What’s in your bush? Master Gardener consults booking soon @ FurnaceCreativeConsultants.org #mcm #monochromemonday #gardenseason #PlantZaddy

Wood morning, campers. I slept out under the stars so I didn’t get to tent in tents. Here’s a #softie in a thong instead. Anyway, time for a little gardening in the woods. Have a happy little #scs, dudes.

Just in case it wasn’t clear, I’ll spell it out in black and white. I missed #mcm this week. So what. Who cares?

My boyfriend said my ass looks terrible and I just don’t think I can believe him when this 2 tier used to be a pancake. The pool is full of Brads. Should I ask them?

To do list not started Apartments a mess Boyfriends out shopping for plants, I guess. You cant have too many in an #autistic gay nest. #Gardening it is while I slow roll awake. Maybe later I’ll bake you a cake. Make it the day you think you deserve. It’s #Softie Saturday- #booty is served.

Happy #HumpDay or whatever. You may have to flip me over to get to the other side.

Welp. Lost the beard. Still full bush. You’ll get over it. Can’t help the #cock is a rock. That’s just Tuesday.

Camping is in tents! Maybe I’ll wake up with one. Night dudes. May your #fursday quench every #thirst ‘til #fcf Love, Camp Daddy

Sittin with my cock on the bay. I know. It’s stuck in your head now too…

You know it’s a national holiday when your Friday feed is more engorged than usual. I need a nap. #hary #dadbod #fcf

Just your usual Wednesday afternoon. Happy #HumpDay. Wish you were here.

A #HumpDay surprise in Goldfish Fishnet, not all #mermaids live in the see.

Ope. Didn’t stay soft for long. 🤷‍♂️

Feet so big and balls so heavy they come with their own escort. That’s #FatCockFriday for ya. #fcf to #scs, Dad’s here.

Rise and shine! It’s coffee time. Oh. And it’s #fcf or something.

Doesn’t everyone?

Tangled in red but #thirsty for attention. I guess I just cant wait for #fcf. But if wait 12 seconds you can slide onto mine.

At break of dawn Mighty timbers climb Above downy clouds of down Sun kissed by sunrise A morning wood prize The nightmare is over. Moan. The dreams just begun. #erotic #poetic #hard #cock #aesthetic

Who am I kidding? My life is too colorful for #mcm.

It’s #MonochromeMonday and again too many celebrating in grey. Today’s #mcm color du jour is Boner Rosé* Thanks for joining my #TED talk on The Art of Thrist. *Legs and torso for contrast and scale.

Suns out. Sacks out. I think that’s how it goes? Anyway, my #balls are bigger than my #biceps so I prefer to show off my best assets - socks, sneakers, butt, and pole. So there ya go. Happy #FatCockFriday creeps. This is my spot on the river - #fcf to #scs and every #softie in between.

I shit you not. I think I was just haunted during a jerk off session on my ocean view balcony. I was filming Cake By The Sea and found proof of the afterlife with a finger in my butt. Beat that. Now accepting grant proposals to open @batemooruniversity.com Deptartment of Paranormal Sexuality.

I almost ran over an angel. He had a nice big fat cigar. It’s not the weather. It’s #MonochromeMonday but I’m better in #LivingColor

Waking up to tropical breezes in Key West. Morning wood hits different on vacation. Just a #hairy #dadbod with a #boner on a mission before breakfast. Enjoy your coffee dudes.

Coffee Noir. Happy #mcm or something. May your cuppa overflow before you blow.