Micaela “grossly unremarkable balls” Deitz

@dykedeitz

Trans Culture Critic & Editor & Essayist & Author & Poet Formerly of Dangerous To Go Alone and Ninsight, Currently of Bushwick :) Nemesis of Damon Lindelof, Bobby Kotick, and FPS Games ✍️ @ Stop Caring, Polygon, Paste, Fanbyte, Uppercut, etc

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Bluesky

trans

Ist das dein Profil?Übernimm es — dann gehört dir dykedeitz.dirty.social.Profil übernehmen

Micaela “grossly unremarkable balls” Deitz@dykedeitz· 11d

don’t act like Wilson noting Nolan’s interest in Oppenheimer’s ingenuity vs Odyssey’s lack is stupid. Nolan likes smart boys. it’s in his work. why bring Tenet in? Jackson willfully refuses to engage with Wilson’s review, which is the same thing they are accusing Wilson of doing w/ the movie.

"Perhaps more surprising from the director of Oppenheimer" Wilson writes, "[Matt]
Damon's lummoxy Odysseus also seems to lack technological intelligence (polymēchania). He does not build a marriage bed out of a tree growing in his house (it would be a waste of effort, since he so rarely seems to sleep or have sex)."
Why should Nolan's depiction of Oppenheimer mean that his depiction of Odysseus must possess technological skill?
Should he also be able to invert his boats and weapons as the characters do in Tenet? This is the trap of believing that Nolan strives to do anything other than make movies that make you say "hell yeah brother." He does have an interest in lofty ideas, but mostly as a basis for creating spectacle.

Gita Jackson making a smarmy point while doing the same thing they are accusing Emily Wilson of doing. Why engage with the work, Gita asks? It’s Nolan, it’s action, it’s useless. Why not, engage with the work, Wilson asks. It’s Homer, it’s classic. It’s important.

Micaela “grossly unremarkable balls” Deitz@dykedeitz· 13d

the hospital knows im a gamer, shit

Micaela “grossly unremarkable balls” Deitz@dykedeitz· 18d

absolute gobbledegook writing. unsubstantiated claims about “influence and reach”, nonsense metaphors, “the graphics have caught up to our imagination,” complaints that the remake remade things too accurately. can we PLEASE care about words and meaning? it’s not hard, especially if you’re an EIC.

Halo: Combat Evolved is a foundational game whose influence and reach are hard to
encompass. 25 years ago, that game established an array of mechanics, control systems, story tropes, and gameplay flow that rippled outward across the genre and beyond. In crafting a rebuild, Halo Studios opted to strip out the competitive multiplayer that helped establish part of that reputation, which is a real shame.

Behind the wall of clever sci-fi world-building, Halo's triumph has always been its insistent fun at all times, sometimes at the cost of perfect balance or sense. Brightly colored weapon flashes

Master Chief and Cortana's journey across the ringworld of Halo was an integral experience in my gaming life, and I'm certainly not the only one. Campaign Evolved is a superb update and rebuild of what made the original great, but it stops short of a complete restructuring of that landmark game. Even constrained by some of the

Micaela “grossly unremarkable balls” Deitz@dykedeitz· Jun 26

working through Spielberg’s filmography and damn it’s more eclectic than I thought

Amazon Prime recommendations for films supposedly directed by Steven Spielberg: Paul, starring Simon Pegg and Nick Frost (directed by Greg Mottola); Vanilla Sky, starring Tom Cruise (directed by Camron Crowe); and Men in Black, starring Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones (directed by Barry Sonnenfeld).

Micaela “grossly unremarkable balls” Deitz@dykedeitz· Jun 15

touched some grass, slipped around some snow. did you know stars and mountains are pretty? glad i didn’t miss anything, certainly not stupid discourse or unnecessary studio closures :)

snow covering the ground leading to a beautiful lake within the basin of mountains

a frozen lake in a mountain basin with a rocky shore

a waterfall (for some reason taken a Dutch angle) flows down with the river. pine trees of some kind are seeing bordering the bank.

a teal blue lake (Glacier Lake) is seen through two thin trees.

Micaela “grossly unremarkable balls” Deitz@dykedeitz· May 31

i blame her for a lot of things, but jesus girl you’re good at this. it’s also catharsis/emotional distress tolerance for me so i get it

a poem titled Jill Drinking A Beer on Her
Porch Alone
you cry silently
thousands of miles between
teardrops running
(my lips kissing)
down your face
until they drop into the
ocean
salty sweet taffy
stretching all the way
from you to me
and i'm afraid that i will devour
your candy flesh
in one sugary binge
digest you until you flow through my veins and i'm afraid that you will let me
thank me for it even
and i'm afraid that
i'll ask the same of you
and mean it.

Micaela “grossly unremarkable balls” Deitz@dykedeitz· May 8

hey is uh… anyone else playing TetherGeist? cause i think I broke it (@gamemakerstoolkit.com)

multiple art sprites are covering the text box and freaking out over a cutscene

Micaela “grossly unremarkable balls” Deitz@dykedeitz· May 4

sure insurance/NYC hospitals may be fucking me with a chainsaw, but i got hot female jesus with a big rack crucified on a dagger tattooed on my arm to celebrate four years on e, so who’s to say today was bad? (it’s one of the better ones lately!)

Micaela’s arm where a fresh tattoo of a female jesus with wavy hair is crucified to the handle of a dagger with a little star behind it. she wears heels and a little cloth. she’s awesome.

Micaela “grossly unremarkable balls” Deitz@dykedeitz· Apr 8

a very “Bikini Kill says trans rights” day to you too :)

a girl (me!) with long red hair wears a pink sweatshirt with blue and white writing that says “Bikini Kill,” a fantastic riot grrl band from the 90s. Her phone covers half her face, and there’s a hot water heater behind her because this is a weird cafe bathroom.

Micaela “grossly unremarkable balls” Deitz@dykedeitz· Apr 6

they know i’ve spent almost two hours paying bills and dealing with the atrocities of American insurance companies 🫣 i hate being an adult

Petite Maman, a calico cat, is curled up on my chest sleeping while Coco, a tuxedo cat, licks her head, while also sitting in my lap.

Micaela “grossly unremarkable balls” Deitz@dykedeitz· Apr 3

honored and flabbergasted to have my Consume Me essay in @midimyers.com’s Mothership weekly round up, between PAPER and 404Media. thank you so much for reading, and if you guys are looking for more personal essay like this, i may have already sent something into your inbox :)

Micaela Deitz wrote for Stop
Caring this week about her mixed feelings on the portrayal of eating disorders in the critically acclaimed indie game Consume Me

Micaela “grossly unremarkable balls” Deitz@dykedeitz· Apr 1

a calico lays galumphly on a purple comforter

Micaela “grossly unremarkable balls” Deitz@dykedeitz· Mar 31

Edited the poem I wrote for Trans Day of Remembrance to be a bit more hopeful for Trans Day of Visibility/Mira Bellwhether Day. go hug a trans person you love. buy them a pizza or a snack or a drink. solidarity is strongest in the everyday.

A Poem for TDOV, titled “Those Who Remain to Be”

I am scared to know transwomen
of all shapes and sizes
those amoral moneymakers in tech,
the artists on the fifth GoFundMe to make rent and groceries,
the baristas who can draw hearts on lattes, the bartenders sweaty and majestic during rush.
I am scared to know their generosity,
how they will pay for me when I struggle
with communal care, worth ten times more than the gold standard.
I am scared to know their warmth wrapped around my loneliness.

I am scared of the literary dolls
who write autofiction and autotheory, although this one feels earned.
and those who know one another through
the swapping of prose and poetry and bodily fluids,
and the ways they write without fear of a better world —
we are the original cyborgs, they scream,
we are built to last.

I am scared of deep wells of knowledge and vast pools of pettiness.
I am scared by how much everyone wants sex,
and by how much everyone wants a cigarette.
I am scared of the transwomen who reflect me in their eyes
because i am scared of knowing that other people know I exist.

I am scared of knowing transwomen because I am scared to lose transwomen.
I am scared to lose these imperfect smiles in mouths too full of joy and too empty of teeth.
To lose laughs that start low in full, boozy bellies
and come out through perfectly pitched throats.
To lose those the whimsy and curiosity of those
who sleep in dog beds and believe themselves animals.

I am scared to lose the toy chest of dolls,
the ones who are annoying as hell,
the ones who are gracious,
the ones who shave daily,
who drink organic red wine,
who walk dogs for pay and nourish themselves on art,

The Second Part of the Poem:

who terraform the world around them with their giggles and flood it with their tears.

I am scared to lose transwomen because I love us,
we are built to last.
T4T is not just a metaphor:
it is a way of life, a revolution.
I love that we make a life worth living in the margins of society,
that we clutch respect and community like heirloom jewels,
but that we bicker like family, and support like family.
I love that I do not have to say “I see you” because we implicitly gaze into one another’s souls.

I love everyone who is alive,
and those who have left by choice or force,
and I love those like myself who are in-between
and make the choice daily to remain here,
in this world, with these dolls and dykes and friends and families,
and who meet in a field of grass
atop a checkered picnic blanket.
Come sit with me, my loves, even if it is not for long.
It only takes a moment to be grateful to be alive with you all.

Micaela “grossly unremarkable balls” Deitz@dykedeitz· Mar 13

Patti LuPone photoshopped (?) to hold a bong and a bottle of Jack Daniels. She looks tired and upset.

Micaela “grossly unremarkable balls” Deitz@dykedeitz· Dec 11

i also come out to the world as a freak and call everyone who complained about Silksong a dumb little baby :)

Screenshot of the above article that reads: After a few days, however, I noticed something pretty important. I was scrolling through bed one night, probably high or drunk or both, and it dawned on me that people would not shut up about how unfair and cruel Silksong was. The enemies did too much damage, the bosses were unreadable, Hornet's moveset (especially her diagonal slash) called for too much precision, the biomes were designed by a sadist. Many essays and Bluesky threads were written about how Team Cherry, those goofy Australian freaks, didn't understand they had made a game that cruelly punished the player for their mistakes. It hurt their feelings and spit in their face and said rude things about their mothers. And 1 am completely unashamed to admit that this is what finally piqued my interest.

Micaela “grossly unremarkable balls” Deitz@dykedeitz· Dec 3

yeah this all tracks painfully well

top seven used words from my Bluesky posts this year: games, trans, game, writers, movie, fuck, and hard.

Micaela “grossly unremarkable balls” Deitz@dykedeitz· Nov 29

i will never tire of living in New York :) Wake Up Dead Man! messy! big! bold! Josh O’Connor is my favorite pathetic guy now. it’s his world, we are just living in it.

Wake Up Dead Man post-screening Q&A with Rian Johnson sitting on stage answering a question. His socks are so very red.

Micaela “grossly unremarkable balls” Deitz@dykedeitz· Nov 20

a poem I wrote for Trans Day of Remembrance: For Those Who Remain to Be 💜

a poem written for TDOR titled “To Those Who Remain to Be” that begins:
I am scared to know transwomen

i would include the whole poem here in alt text if i could, but I can’t. it’s too long.

Micaela “grossly unremarkable balls” Deitz@dykedeitz· Nov 16

calico cat named Petite Maman naps on a patterned blue blanket

Micaela “grossly unremarkable balls” Deitz@dykedeitz· Sep 19

Are you ready to play as a 9 inch rat? Hello Mik Sign up today to receive the a...

Micaela “grossly unremarkable balls” Deitz@dykedeitz· Jul 10

counterpoint to Contrapoints:

Screenshot of a scene from the video game 1000x Resist, where two characters discuss the purpose of the 2019 Hong Kong protests: “You remember? In the streets...hundreds of thousands marching shoulder to shoulder... Biggest demonstrations in HK history. The world watched it all happen. Heard our voices. Saw us bleed. So if we stayed silent? didnt stand up for ourselves? They would say...this is how it always was. They would say...this is what the people wanted. But no. They can't say that. Because it has gone down in history... That we resisted fiercely. That we fought for a different future...until we couldn't. That legacy lives in us.”

Micaela “grossly unremarkable balls” Deitz@dykedeitz· Jul 7

yeah, this is cathartic to read

Excerpt from the article that reads: Let's make one thing clear. When we are in bathrooms, or changing rooms, or any rooms with trans women, we do not experience their presence in any remarkable way. We experience it as we experience each other's - as women. This is not some social justice argument. It is just how we feel. We do not feel fear. We do not feel difference. To be honest we do not feel a fucking thing, we are simply taking a piss.

Micaela “grossly unremarkable balls” Deitz@dykedeitz· Jun 27

normal week over here (the entire Before trilogy was viewed, for reference)

letterboxd recent activity including: The Hunger Games: Catching Fire (3.5 stars, rewatch); Dogtooth (3.5 stars); Before Midnight (4 stars, rewatch); Before Sunset (5 stars, rewatch)

Micaela “grossly unremarkable balls” Deitz@dykedeitz· Jun 24

it’s hot, it’s primary day, BUT perhaps most importantly, it’s E•MO•TION’s 10th anniversary. if you have five minutes, please read one of my favorite essays ever on one of my favorite albums ever, and remember to love a little more freely, openly, and fully today 💜 web.archive.org/web/20240216...

Screenshot of an essay titled “Carly Rae Jepsen’s Public Displays of Affection” written by the inimitable Hanif Abdurraqib.

Micaela “grossly unremarkable balls” Deitz@dykedeitz· Jun 18

dictionary, what’s the definition of irony? (inviting zionists to a queer event, and complaining that they’re somehow unjustly unwelcome.)

“We can’t go backwards to having people feel unwelcome in queer spaces. The goal of queer spaces is to be a place where everyone can feel that level of community.”

Micaela “grossly unremarkable balls” Deitz@dykedeitz· Jun 17

what are soft boy cooks? they’re gentle. they’re seasonal. they’re soft boy cooks.

a New York Times bluesky post that reads: What are soft boy cooks? On social media, these sensitive men with palpable charisma are a little heartthrob, a little boy-next-door and entirely devoted to food. They eschew the heavy meats and protein-maxxing that many of their fellow chefs promote.”

The text is accompanied by an image of a ratty looking white boy in a suit jacket and unbuttoned shirt.

Micaela “grossly unremarkable balls” Deitz@dykedeitz· Jun 13

think someone needs to write a short film/story about this immediately (seen in Bushwick)

poster on a brick wall that reads, “My wife’s boyfriend said he could be up anyone I know. Help me prove him wrong.” A photo of the wife’s boyfriend Pete is in the middle, he was shirtless and holding a large fish tip to tail.

Micaela “grossly unremarkable balls” Deitz@dykedeitz· May 5

four (of many many) favorite films from the decade (so far)

Petite Maman (2020, dir. Celine Sciamma)

love this movie so much, I named one of my cats after it.

Micaela “grossly unremarkable balls” Deitz@dykedeitz· May 4

or, to put it another way: The days move slow, the years move fast. Three cheers to estrogen for giving me tits and an ass

account holder in a dirty mirror in a bathroom, wearing tights, converse, a tan knee-length corduroy skirt , a black mock neck shirt and brown corduroy jacket. she smiles

Micaela “grossly unremarkable balls” Deitz@dykedeitz· Mar 16

have not stopped thinking about @emilystjams.bsky.social’s “Woodworking” since I finished last night. a vital read for everyone, and a revelation for my own transness and humanity. i beg of everyone — trans, gnc, queer, or an ally with/without people you love with those identities — read it now.