Earl F***ing Weaver
@earlfckinweaver
Pitching, defense, & the 3-run HR. Loves tomatoes and cussing out umps. Hates pretty much everything else. THIS IS A F***ING PARODY ACCOUNT, ya sumbitches!
Is Blaze Alexander this team's Ryan Flaherty? I think he might be.
Hey Thornton Mellon! How many games in a row will the Orioles have won if they won today? A win streak total they have yet to reach this season?
Having a great time talking to my dear friend Mitch McConnell. He's just out of frame, laughing too.
Obligatory. And have fun. Let me know how the movie is, so I know if I should go see it.
Every time someone mentions Jackie Bradley Jr., all I can picture in my head is this
Spencer Pratt looks like Frank Caliendo doing an impression of Spencer Pratt.
1) I'm pretty sure either Milli or Vanilli is dead. Maybe since Bobby Van Winkle is performing the same day, they meant "Milli Vanilla"? 2) What the ACTUAL FUCK, Morris Day & the Time? Prince is looking down at you right now, and he is FUCKING PISSED.
When I worked at The Admiral's Cup in its '90s dive bar heyday (aka WAY before Atlas fucked it up), Miller Lite was the beer of choice of pretty much all of the employees & a large number of the patrons. I don't know what pretentious bullshit this fuckstick is going on about.
This is the anecdote to the decadence of a professional class that constantly chases novel gustatory experience and has come to confuse this empty hedonistic quest with being cultured. (Also, scope those goddamn prices)
Pick a Bond villain from the photos you already have on your phone.
Me whenever I see an adult wearing a Yankees jersey with the player's name on the back.
@artbutmakeitsports.bsky.social - I'm begging you, on behalf of a fanbase that is REALLY struggling right now: Is there anything you can do with this?
What in the Rhythmless Nation 1488 am I fucking looking at here?
Me hearing all the press corp sycophants excusing their attendance.
It's April 2nd. Taylor Ward hit a double. It's April 9th. Taylor Ward hit a double. It's April 22nd. Taylor Ward hit a double.