Eleanor’s Trousers

@eleanorstrousers

My skeets represent your employer. Atlanta raised, in Pittsburgh PA since 2000 - my accent is weird wherever I am. Go Dawgs. Putting the Q in LGBTQ+. TERFs be gone. (she/her)🏳️‍🌈

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Eleanor’s Trousers@eleanorstrousers· 23d

Always zoom in on maps and look at the random things. I found The Elusive Chicken Tender Man just this morning.

Zoomed in Google Maps result with a red pin for The Elusive Chicken Tender Man, Public Sculpture, Artist …

From the Google result for the Elusive Chicken Tender Man sculpture, a man-sized tan sculpture that looks like it is made of crispy fried chicken with a sort of wookie/ dog face and no arms. In the photo, the sculpture has decorative Christmas bulbs around its neck.

Eleanor’s Trousers@eleanorstrousers· 25d

I know we joked that both teams would lose if the president attended the World Cup, but I guess it happened?

World Cup online scoreboard showing Final between Spain and Argentina at 73:35 and the score is 0-0.

Eleanor’s Trousers@eleanorstrousers· 29d

Fox and Bad Janet never cuddled each other (because they were coworkers and that would be inappropriate in the workplace). Now, with Watson and Wiz, we have a cat lasagna to share the good birdwatching window. 😭

An ottoman in front of window in the early morning light. Outside the window is the wall of white nearby house and a green tree branch. On top of the ottoman are three cats fully lounging. In the middle, one snoozing orange cat (Fox) and on either side of him laid out are two gray tabby cats (Watson near the window and Wiz facing the camera). They are all ready for a long nap.

Eleanor’s Trousers@eleanorstrousers· Jul 11

This photo from a storage review has me asking a lot of questions. How much laundry are you doing to need 25 bottles of detergent and softener on hand? Did you get an irresistible deal on it and build the shelves after or have you been collecting detergents all your life?

Photo from an online review for a storage product. Pictured is a cramped laundry room with a white washing machine and many shelves literally stuffed with bottles of laundry detergent and fabric softener. There are at least 25 jugs of detergent and softener there.

Eleanor’s Trousers@eleanorstrousers· Jul 8

I could not get over my luck when the demolition crew offered to haul our junk fence for free and give me free bricks. Then I saw their dumpster and realized this is the Fully Automated Luxury Gay Space Communism I was promised by the prophets.

A dusty blue dumpster in an alley. On the side among other graffiti, someone has painted the word Soviet in large all caps white letters with black shadow.

Eleanor’s Trousers@eleanorstrousers· Jul 4

Happy holiday, human, I am former cryptid The Dark Wizard. I am here about the cat treats you have provided others and demand my rights as a citizen of this house to also receive treats in your bed. No funny business. Do not make any fast moves here, m’am. Drop the treats and back off.

A small gray tabby cat with a white chest and a sort of potato shaped body at the foot of a bed standing and staring down the camera sternly, but not particularly scary due to his tiny potato-ness.

Eleanor’s Trousers@eleanorstrousers· Jul 3

“Hydrate, or die straight.” - sound Riveters soccer fan advice from @luxastarte.bsky.social

Selfie of myself (white lady in a red tshirt and red heart sunglasses) and @luxastarte (a white nonbinary person in sunglasses and a black hat and muscle tank) at a Pittsburgh Riveters soccer game in 92 degree weather. I am holding a blue Power Ade.

Eleanor’s Trousers@eleanorstrousers· Jul 1

Me: I hope I can at least scrounge a few bricks from this next door demolition to replace those fake plastic bricks in my garden edging. … I think I will be fine on that front. I’m now adjacent to the largest Pittsburgh Brick Hole of all time. (Every yard has some bricks - I have all the bricks)

A partially torn down fence next door with a full yard three or four feet high stack of bricks from tearing down a whole house with a destruction crane driving on top.

Eleanor’s Trousers@eleanorstrousers· Jul 1

Our next door neighbor’s house burned down in November (he died in the fire), and we have been living next to the haunting charred husk since, but today the demolition began. When we moved in, I never expected the 120+ year old house next door … gone. Everything is temporary if enough time passes.

Photo taken out the window of a large construction claw grabbing a yellow-orange brick wall on the back of a boarded up house to pull it down

Eleanor’s Trousers@eleanorstrousers· Jun 30

No one can stop me now. I’ve made one coaster and have opinions about grouts. Add it to the hobby pile!

A round wooden coaster with a simple mosaic design featuring various blue petal shapes as water on the bottom half, and orange rectangles as sunbeams with translucent aqua squares between the beams.

Eleanor’s Trousers@eleanorstrousers· Jun 27

I went to Michael’s for mosaic glue, but this “summer table decor” sparked so much joy that it came home with us (once we discovered it was 50% off).

A brass colored decorative sculpture of a half-peeled banana, upright, with three peeled back sections as a sort of tripod holding the banana erect. The whole thing is 9 inches tall. Yes, my table sculpture is a very blunt euphemism.

Eleanor’s Trousers@eleanorstrousers· Jun 23

Ever since I saw this post in 2019, whenever I see something move out of the corner of my eye, I think, welp, here we go.

Post from @itsjustcaitlin on Twitter from 3/12/2019. Text reads Hi this possum was living in my children's bedroom for 3 days before we believed them. Below is a photo of a cluttered closet shelf and in among the games and markers is a clear bin containing a wee live possum.

Eleanor’s Trousers@eleanorstrousers· Jun 21

Once a cryptid, now The Dark Wizard has set up a shark wall to menace me from going to bed until he has been provided a fourth meal that we refer to as Night Meat.

A hallway with a long green rug with a white and black snake down the middle. At the far end of the rug is a small grey tabby cat with a white chest named The Dark Wizard. In front of him is a stuffed shark almost as big as he is.

Eleanor’s Trousers@eleanorstrousers· Jun 18

After his surgery, Fox Mulder developed a taste for breakfast in bed, and I’m glad to indulge him with a bowl on a towel so that he eats his special prescription food. The Dark Wizard still does not love people, but he is *very* curious about this upgraded brunch package offer.

The foot of a bed covered in a rust orange quilt with an aqua satin robe dangling in the corner. On the wood floor peeking up is a very tiny and adorable gray tabby cat with a white chest, named The Dark Wizard, looking up in hopeful awe.

Eleanor’s Trousers@eleanorstrousers· Jun 6

Alert! After four months, Doctor Watson has decided I might be an ok lap (if no one else is available, in a pinch). 💕😭💕

My lap stretched out on the couch under a cream fleece blanket. In the middle is a wee grey tabby cat with a white chest curled up in a cat circle sleeping with my hand on his front paw.

Eleanor’s Trousers@eleanorstrousers· Jun 1

Let’s *all* get free, y’all. Happy Pride Month!

Post by AJ
@AJhasawebbrand
I'm sorry but there's certain things kids shouldn't see at pride. When impressionable Igbtq kids see gay bankers and cops flaunting their lifestyles at the parade, they get the wrong idea that queer liberation is possible within capitalism

Eleanor’s Trousers@eleanorstrousers· May 29

I would like to buy a nice cocktail for whoever invented these soft flower petal pet cone alternatives. He’s still safe but he looks 500% less miserable which has to be better for his kidney stone surgery recovery.

Special Agent Fox Mulder, an orange cat, with a puffy fabric flower petal pet cone ring around his neck that he is using as a pillow while he naps on a rust colored blanket in a sunbeam.

Eleanor’s Trousers@eleanorstrousers· May 27

Spotted: The Dark Wizard, cat cryptid, enjoying the spare bed but hating everyone for seeing him enjoy anything.

A small gray tabby cat with a white chest and a disdainful expression laying on a bed with a black and white quilt and a yellow throw blanket.

Eleanor’s Trousers@eleanorstrousers· May 20

The algorithm stays correcting me. I do not know why it suggested this to me, since my first bad habit is … not playing mahjong or even considering that my potential future mahjong instructor could be flawed from jump.

Instagram cover image from Racks & Raquets. Over a decorative image of tiles on a table, the title reads 5 Mahjong Habits to Unlearn NOW and below Yes… a lot of people are teaching these wrong

Eleanor’s Trousers@eleanorstrousers· May 19

Girl. I too am dealing with various Wheaters.

Another section from the same Virgin Mary statue ad showing product in a gorgeous lush landscaped garden next to a pond. The text at the top above icons for sun, wind, rain, and snow reads Dealing with Various Wheaters.

Eleanor’s Trousers@eleanorstrousers· May 19

Wanted a yard statue for my rose garden. I’m grateful that this one has size comparisons to two common elements in everyday life: an NCAA standard basketball, and a 5’5” inch woman in a minidress and heels.

Photo of a Virgin Mary yard statue ad showing product size. On the bottom left, the 29.4” statue is shown next to a 9.6” basketball. On the top right, the same statue is next to a shadow silhouette of a woman in a very short skirt and heels and the woman is labeled 65”.

Eleanor’s Trousers@eleanorstrousers· May 18

Our beloved orangest cat son, Special Agent Fox Mulder, seems to have developed a UTI/ blockage and Lex has whisked him away to urgent care. Dr. Google says it’s pretty routine for an older indoor guy but we still want him to feel better. Thoughts/ prayers/ vibes whatnot welcome for this guy.

A 9 year old orange cat named Special Agent Fox Mulder sprawled on my lap on the couch on a purple blanket. He has one eye open in the photo. (His other one is totally fine, he’s just cozy).

Eleanor’s Trousers@eleanorstrousers· May 18

I hate this tree. It is much too close to garage and drops a million red seed balls everywhere in the fall and is a non-native Asian dogwood that is too shady near our vegetable garden. But it’s ok for the two weeks that it has flowers. I will still kill it one day (and plant a better tree).

Photo of an Asian dogwood tree around 12’ high in my back yard covered in white 4-petal flowers that will all fall off in a week or so. The garage is like 6 feet to the left.

Eleanor’s Trousers@eleanorstrousers· May 14

I’m sorry to whichever man or beast dropped your corn on the sidewalk ramp in front of my house, but that is what you get for eating it weird.

An ear of corn on the ground on a yellow curb cut-out ramp. The corn has been eaten from both ends all the way around and is intact in the middle.

Eleanor’s Trousers@eleanorstrousers· May 14

The Dark Wizard, our cat cryptid, has shown up downstairs in daylight yesterday and today. He still runs off if I stand up, but he will now sit and watch me if I stay seated. This sighting of a previously invisible cat would have been an omen in medieval times.

An open doorway with a green velvet curtain with ball fringe. Just outside in the hallway is a tiny gray tabby cat with white chest and paws seated on a wood floor staring into the room. He has the tiniest little face and is named The Dark Wizard (Wiz) and never comes out of hiding in the daytime.

Eleanor’s Trousers@eleanorstrousers· May 11

For sale: Tasmanian Beauties’ Preloved God.

Instagram ad for a triangular plate with three sections and a handle sold by Tasmanian Beauties. The description below reads

Preloved God, Prayer Wall, Vintage Dinner Prayer Religious Wall Plate |...

Eleanor’s Trousers@eleanorstrousers· May 9

TV recommendation, or dating horoscope:

TV app recommendation. At the top it reads Because you like Imperfect Women: and at the bottom Radioactive Emergency with a photo of an actor in a yellow toxic cleanup jumpsuit looking pressed about it.

Eleanor’s Trousers@eleanorstrousers· May 1

It’s Take Your Cryptid to Work day, apparently. The Dark Wizard has surfaced in the daylight after three months hiding in the attic or guest bedroom. He still walked out of my sight line when I spotted him, but it wasn’t the usual frantic scramble, so progress!

Our cat, The Dark Wizard, who has hidden under the guest room bed for three months making a daylight appearance in the hallway outside my office. He is a small gray tabby with a white chest and very large ears for his little baby body

Eleanor’s Trousers@eleanorstrousers· Apr 27

We won’t even bring our most cursed object inside the house. This urn was propping a door at my in-laws’ house when we cleared it out. Inside are some dried dead roses. It feels funereal but who puts a devil goat on a cemetery urn? None of my business but it stays out in the detached garage.

A black iron urn with a ram’s head with curved horns and a brass handle made of two black metal lilies. It is surrounded by fallen leaves on a garage floor.

Eleanor’s Trousers@eleanorstrousers· Apr 25

The squirrel that brings his own black walnuts to eat on our steps is back. We do not have a walnut tree, but he likes to picnic and stain this specific spot.