Eli McCann
@elimccann
New dad. Lawyer/Writer/America’s Grandma. Humor columnist for The Salt Lake Tribune. Creator of the Strangerville podcast. Humor essays here:
The bigger dog was bathed outside with a hose while the smaller dog watched. When we were done with that, I brought the smaller dog inside to do his more humanely in the bathtub and he was so traumatized by what he had witnessed he was just grateful and compliant.
I will never understand my governor. Is it cowardice or a total lack of morals or something else? Whatever it is, I have fully stopped respecting him as a person.
We went out of town for 10 days and they went and stayed with their best friend. We got back yesterday. Their eyes have not yet forgiven me.
Sitting on the couch with my husband's parents and my child, having a spiritual moment by sharing with them something really important from my culture. *I'm making them watch Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit
So we've pretty much just given up on trying to get our toddler to sleep in his own bed.
He's a 10 but he accidentally bit my hand yesterday trying to get a treat and then I had to go down a rabbit hole to figure out if I needed a tetanus shot.
You guys are never going to believe who got an A+ report card at the groomer today.
Taking shameless thirst trap photos of my husband without his knowledge or consent.
You guys will never in 1 million years believe who just got so tuckered out on his evening walk.
Look at these incredibly cute bookmarks for my novel that comes out in September.
You are never going to believe who just found us eating hamburgers in the backyard
My husband made me take new headshots for my upcoming book because I've been using the same one for like seven years. I hate pictures of myself. Please just tell me which one of these to use for the back of the book.
You are never going to believe who just won the award for international best boy in the entire world.
Just found a birthday card I received for my best friend Sam, when I turned 16. Do you think I can talk Carmike Cinemas into honoring this coupon?
You're never going to believe who just did an amazing job scaring away the animated horses from the TV as my toddler watched Disney's Cinderella just now.
Why are they always looking at me like I've never done a single nice thing for them in their lives.
Stopped by my parents' house tonight and they have this setting up on their piano right as you walk through their door. We love a supportive Mom and Dad.
While we're waiting for our food, he likes to walk around and politely greet the other tables like he's the mayor of the restaurant.