akim_rehtse

@esthermika

it/its and she/her | plushie 🪡 | nonbinary trans woman "Sometimes I feel like people treat me more like a plushie than a girl" Matrix: @esthermika:matrix.org Stoat: EstherMika#5725

140 Folgt230 Follower872 Posts

Bluesky

trans

Ist das dein Profil?Übernimm es — dann gehört dir esthermika.dirty.social.Profil übernehmen

akim_rehtse@esthermika· 4d

insane gif alt text

slap bald bald slap slap head head slap slap head stairs gif

akim_rehtse@esthermika· 9d

akim_rehtse@esthermika· 11d

hey everyone, i'm back to normal this month¡

akim_rehtse@esthermika· 14d

akim_rehtse@esthermika· 24d

anywhere, here's a snippet

I was born inside a body that already existed. Katy, they told me it was called.

It's an odd feeling being born. There's a lot I do not know. My name, my past, my goals, my desires. Yet, there's a lot I'm intimately familiar with. I can speak without issue, I can walk without tripping, I can understand what people say, even if I struggle to believe it.

They told me I was born with no memories. They told me this was a last resort, that this was the only thing they could do to save me. They have yet to tell me what I was saved from.

It's why I'm in this room right now. I'm waiting to be told.

In the meantime, my head is buzzing with questions. Being born is very confusing, specially since, I'm quite certain, most people aren't born this way. Fully formed into the world without knowing how to navigate it. Lost at sea with a boat and no stars or compass as guide.

There's one thing I do know, one star from which I'll build the constellations later.
I am not Katy.

How could I be? I'm nothing like her. Katy had memories, but I don't. Katy knew who she was, but I don't. Katy has a name, but I don't.
The only thing she and I share is the body. It has hers before, but I've taken custody in her stead.

It's a fine body. Conventionally attractive, white-skinned, blonde, skinny. A common kind of body, I think. I have no reference from which to make that assumption, but it simply feels right. It's my body, and that also feels right to say.

That rightness feeling is my only anchor. The same I kept my knowledge of general human communication and motor function, I also kept Katy's intuition. The half-memories that you never remember but always recall. Gut feelings, and sixth senses, the voices of God, as the spiritual might call them. The ego foundations are still here, despite the house having collapsed.

akim_rehtse@esthermika· Jul 2

Thank you Chiitan, knew I could always count on you

akim_rehtse@esthermika· Jun 1

akim_rehtse@esthermika· May 27

giving my bimbo girlfriend the tucker carlson low iq hat

akim_rehtse@esthermika· May 21

akim_rehtse@esthermika· May 18

plushie! who's soft and cute and stuff :3

akim_rehtse@esthermika· May 4

akim_rehtse@esthermika· Apr 1

yarggh! i stole all the toys!

akim_rehtse@esthermika· Feb 1

its vampire season now

akim_rehtse@esthermika· Jan 31

at the start of this year, i vowed to keep better track of the things i read. it took half a month to get it started, but I did it! here's a list of what i read these last two weeks