Hyping myself up for my hospital appointment at the end of the week in the vain hope someone somewhere has discovered a diagnosis for me or at least are finally willing to give me systemic treatment. While trying not to fall into the "buy self the new cute spider plushie" trap.

No, I don't know why they would model all of me in such detail under my adventuring outfit. Probably to cater to perverts like you! This is so gross, turn those mods off!! Hey, wait. What are you doing? No, no, come back. Don't change my voicelines to that, please! I'll wear it.

Girl who comes back from her quarterly review with her superior wrong. Smile permanently on her face as she informs you happily that she is being demoted to a better, more suitable position. But don't worry, her superior will be overseeing you personally. You'll soon cheer up.

Trust me this works. You should eat her out the noises are great.

Being made to take a break. Using all those desires to be broken by your hypnotist to sweep away that sense of guilt. Being given permission to rest, enforced trance time to gather your energy. No matter how much you whine, you will be free from responsibilities for a while.

That condensing, sing-song voice, like you're talking to a child, coating your brain and dripping down your spine like honey. All their suggestions, even the embarrassing ones, just getting stuck on your mind. Always sweet, even as they whisper all those degrading truths into your ear.

Of course, if any of you would like to hold me tight and kiss it all better after a dream like that, I wouldn't be opposed...

Essentially I'm so down bad today I need to either: be whacked over the head with a big hammer, or kidnapped and made into the perfect experiment. I'm literally cute and hypnotisable. I'm open to both physical and mental methods of restructuring. I'm so good.

This was your idea, wasn't it...?

Need to be made so small in comparison to Them, where every word sends you reeling; adrift in a storm and praying that the sea doesn't tear your boat apart. Praying for enough mercy to come through the other side. The terror of seeing the full extent of Their control over you.

It makes your heart ache. That state where you depend on their words like air. Yearning for more, every cell in your body reaching out, trembling under the strain to try and inch closer to them. You need their touch. To be changed. Their toy. Edged on the boundary of personhood.

newly made puppy doing that silly head tilt when you ask them about their old job, their qualifications... they barely have the brain space to process such a big word! they've only just mastered sitting on command...

aughh my boobs are tender again. you should come round and put them in your mouth. kiss them. massage them maybe.

Sure, we can dance around it. Dress it up in all sorts of practiced techniques and flowery language, tease and tempt you to fall in that way that really gets under your skin, in that way nobody else can understand. Until you're teetering, begging to be allowed to drop, needing it.

Holding a public meeting about incentives and rewards for submissives and every time someone suggests orgasms they immediately get dragged roughly out of the room by several security guards.

There's a type of migraine medication that comes in a "wafer" (dissolves on the tongue) and uh... feeling all your thoughts fizz away as they melt and dissolve in your saliva... drooling them all out...

I love paying for a subscription and then the service doesn't tell me when new stuff releases so I'm sitting here like... wow... everyone is on holiday...

You like the researcher you've been assigned, the one with the gentle but firm voice. They don't tug on your leash during transport, or hurry you along too quickly, and they always smile when you do well. Even a non-regulation headpat occasionally. Imagine disappointing them.

No more spiral overlays. We're going to get them focused on a single, annoying dead pixel on an otherwise blank website. Get it flickering just enough that they know there's something wrong with the page. Get them focused on finding it, perhaps moving on occasion. Growing larger.

As they say it's going to be really hot again, I'm thinking we should invent a new type of IV where we chill the saline as much as possible before inserting it. Give yourself liquid cooling. There are no negative side effects to this.

What do you mean there's an area called Terminal Trachea in the first Xenoblade. That's the medical condition they give me when they make me choke on it.

I should be a deskpet for a while I think. Non-verbal evening. Plenty of headpets and skin contact, resting my head against you, warm... kissing all those soft areas.

Look, I know you got kidnapped by the villain and everything, they showed the cool cutscene of you being strapped onto the gurney and the brainwashing machine inching closer, very nice. It's all very urgent, I know. But I've got like, 50 side quests to finish back at home. You can wait, right?

Look, I'm just not sure about the "benefits" of these new experiment uniforms.

Oh I am about to spoil you in like 10 mins. Don't say I don't treat you well.

I'm what they call, "doomed by the narrative"

Yeah, it's normal to be covered in this many electrodes for a simple ECG. Sorry, I know the gel adhesive is cold. The tingling sensation can be distracting, yes. I appreciate that these are sensitive areas of the body. Just sit and endure it for a while, please.

You can let me out of the cell. It's fine. You can trust me. Ignore the signs on the door and just open it. You'll be so happy that you did...

Bought a new jacket.

1, 2, 3. 1, 2, 3. Round, and round, and round. Fixated on their gaze. No thoughts, just the muscle memory of the motions you're being led through, and the smirk of satisfaction on their lips. A voice, not your own, whispering the count of the beat you march to.