Fake Metro Trains
@fakemetrotrains
The official parody Metro Trains Melbourne account. #MetroTrains @fakemetrotrains@mastodon.au on Mastodon. @fakemetrotrains on Twitter/X.
These pics show the aftermath of a LX collision between a truck and a V/Line service at Kerang in June 2007. 11 people died. Despite his negligence, truck driver Christiaan Scholl was acquitted of all charges relating to the event. #MetroTrains #ThrowbackThursday #RSW2026
Joshua, a driver with ARG, had a collision with a truck at a level crossing. #MetroTrains #RSW2026
SAFETY BEGINS WITH YOU (by not being a fuckwit around trains or level crossings) #MetroTrains #RSW2026
Geoffrey, a Pacific National driver. Need help? Lifeline 13 11 14 Beyond Blue 1300 22 4636 Kids Helpline 1800 55 1800 #MetroTrains #RSW2026
Don't trespass on rail lines. Lewis, a driver in Adelaide, has a story about this. #MetroTrains #RSW2026
Daryl, a driver with Queensland Rail, explains why you don't fuck around at level crossings. #MetroTrains #RSW2026
Leonard, a train driver in Sydney, shares his story. #MetroTrains #RSW2026
This c1970s pic (phtg unkwn) shows T323 hauling Hitachi shells to Somerton for final fitout. "Hitachi" would later become known for powerful vibrations and customer satisfaction. Any resemblance to other Hitachi products is purely coincidental. #MetroTrains #ThrowbackThursday
Throwback Thursday! This Dec 1992 Ken Lewis pic shows P11 leading a pass service at Korumburra. Trains no longer run down that way as the Gippsland line was closed and dismantled by a dumb cunt state government with no future thinking. #MetroTrains #ThrowbackThursday
Good morning Melbourne! From our friends in Queensland. Someone misunderstood the concept of "park and ride". #MetroTrains
RIP Roxburgh Park Kangaroo. We hardly knew ye. #MetroTrains #RoxburghParkKangaroo
Throwback Thursday! This 1971 Graham Jordan pic shows a Harris set crossing the river at Mordialloc. Harris sets had non-powered doors, which made it easy for ticket thugs to throw fare evaders into the river below. #MetroTrains #ThrowbackThursday
Throwback Thursday! This Weston Langford pic shows Little River Station as it appeared in Feb 1988. Almost 40 years later it still looks the same, just with more graffiti and a stronger claim to being "heritage" thanks to ongoing neglect. #MetroTrains #ThrowbackThursday
Posting this GIF because reasons, and also a good reminder to never touch overhead wires. #MetroTrains
Throwback Thursday! This 2023 pic (phtg unknown) shows a selection of V/Line trains at Southern Cross Station. Services were operating as there was clearly no Telstra outage that day. #MetroTrains #ThrowbackThursday
This is the dumbest thing we've ever seen. 10/10. More please. #MetroTrains
This Oct 2017 Bradley Matthews photo shows B61 "Bernie Baker" at Wangaratta. Bernie, after whom the loco was named, passed away this week. A former driver and passionate railway enthusiast, he made a lasting contribution to rail preservation. #MetroTrains #ThrowbackThursday
Good morning Melbourne! We’d like to congratulate Transport Victoria on the new bus route to Esat Coburg. (stolen from Reddit) #MetroTrains
Throwback Thursday! This November 2003 Peter Bruce pic shows Z3.136 in St Kilda Road on a citybound Carnegie service. We know it's a tram and not a train, but we wanted to showcase just how fucking stupid and amateur the M>Tram livery was. #MetroTrains #ThrowbackThursday
Throwback Thursday! This pic (photographer unknown) shows Mont Albert Station as it appeared c1915. Three people can be seen in the photo. They're probably all dead now. #MetroTrains #ThrowbackThursday
Throwback Thursday! This c1940 pic (photog unknown) shows VR steam loco S301 departing Albury on a Melbourne-bound service. All four S class locos were retrofitted with a sexy streamlined design, one that is definitely worth masturbating to. #MetroTrains #ThrowbackThursday
From our friends at Sydney Metro. Stop using anti-train language. #MetroTrains
Throwback Thursday! This c1985 pic shows Box Hill station after it was rebuilt in its current form. We've decided all new or rebuilt stations will use this design, as who doesn't love shitty 1980's aesthetic? #MetroTrains #ThrowbackThursday
Throwback Thursday! This pic (photog unkwn) shows Princes Bridge Station as it appeared in the 1880's. Flinders Street Station - in its current form - had not yet been built, meaning big titty goth girls had no steps to congregate on back then. #MetroTrains #ThrowbackThursday
Throwback Thursday! This 1909 pic shows racegoers alighting a train at Sandown Park, heading for racetrack adjacent. The train was a popular choice in this era, mainly because Uber hadn’t been invented yet. #MetroTrains #ThrowbackThursday
Throwback Thursday! This 1981 Kevin Wright pic shows T403 leading a freight train near Heathcote Junction. The excessive smoke from the locos suggest all three were cosplaying as steam trains that day. #MetroTrains #ThrowbackThursday
Throwback Thursday! This 1992 Wayne Duncan pic shows the 4D at Flinders Street Station, a one-off double-decker train based on Sydney's Tangara design. It was scrapped in 2006, thus restoring dignity to Melbourne's rail network. #MetroTrains #ThrowbackThursday
Good morning Melbourne! Services on the Frankston line are currently delayed at Malvern due to a tram blocking the track. #MetroTrains