Nope! Ice cream is going nowhere and now he’s rocking his civvies:

“Saving Private Ryan” remake where I’m part of a squad with Colin and Tom Hanks trying to get Chet out of my native country.

As an immigrant, this is concerning.

Same energy.

I turned this into a reel bc this is what the media landscape is now.

ME: AI Shohei, I feel like no one loves me. I am so alone. I'm thinking of ending things. AI SHOHEI: You should gamble on draftkings-dot-com.

We're getting so much better at early detection of CTE.

I wrote this sketch for The Late Show three years ago because Latino representation in Hollywood was so bad. Glass to see my sketch actually made it worse.

NOOOOO! LEAP DAY WILLIAM!

this is like when Henry Cavill reloads his fists in that Mission:Impossible

Greg Bovino looks like a dog who doesn't realize that steak will be his last meal before "the injection."

Only one explanation for this, Macron is "The Santa Clause-ing" into the new Joe Biden.

Las Culturistas getting a little too serious for me.

I think they’re adding too many characters to this movie.

Yeah, this is an Arsenal and Mets fan.

The thing The X-Files understands is that sometimes you NEED your leads to wear slutty little glasses.

Every picture of these fuckers looks like a SpongeBob closeup.

This is what the potato you left on the back of the fridge since June looks like.

Ur little cousin got grounded for yelling “Six seven” during grandma’s wake.

This is the most depressing email subject line.

Absolutely obsessed with the logo for this Greek soccer team whose name I assume translates to Haircut Model F.C.

We’ve never been more back.

All’s I’m gonna say is I think you’re gonna wanna watch Stephen Colbert tonight.

Eric Adams can’t do a scavenger hunt because everyone knows “the first stop is always Istanbul.”

Holy shit, my humor book, “America, Let Me In,” is the #1 book on Immigration Policy on Amazon! That a joke book can do this is very cool and a little distressing! Keep me at #1 by ordering it for yourself or your aunt or your cousin who thought “mass deportation now” excluded big booty latinas.

Simply the best job I’ve ever had. I love @colbertlateshow.bsky.social and everyone who works there. You have ten months to keep watching us do the best show on earth.

Hey, Milwaukee, you get to be the last stop on my book tour, so come over to @boswellbooks.bsky.social tonight at 6:30 to see me talk to @taylorkayphillips.bsky.social about my book!

The only good thing about Andy Ogles is that his name is also a description of his profile picture and a warning to all women around him.

He loves Gladiator. He just like me fr.