WEDNESDAY NOTE Somewhere between the beginning of the week and the weekend, Wednesday quietly gets on with being rather good. Today’s team: Amari, Ariel, Aspen, Dusty, Lenore, Lottie, Macy, Minx, Noa, Rosa, Sabine, Suki, Valerie & Zoe. Plenty to look forward to.

SUNDAY NOTE A completely unplanned afternoon remains one of life's more promising arrangements. Today's team: Dusty, Lenore, Minx, Tilly & Valerie. Macy — advance bookings. Possibilities remain open.

MATARIKI OBSERVATION Matariki reminds us to look back, appreciate what matters, and look forward to what comes next. The stars return each winter. So do hope, connection, and the simple pleasure of having something to look forward to.

SATURDAY NOTE A warm welcome Good company A chance to leave the outside world where it belongs Today: Sabine & Tilly 11am Amari, Macy & Rosa 12pm Lenore 1pm Valerie 3pm Ariel by advance booking Experience helps Since 2005

MONDAY REVIEW Routine has resumed. Alternative arrangements remain available. Today: Minx & Tilly 10am. Rosa 11am. Dusty 3pm. Macy 4pm. Valerie 5pm. Zoe 6pm. Sabine by advance booking. Since 2005.

She catches your eye. You like her smile. You wonder what she’s like. You hope she’s as lovely in person as she seems. That’s usually where it starts. Everything else is just details. Funhouse Wellington. A well-run escape from the ordinary.

WEATHER WARNING 026 Wellington has selected the 130km/h southerly setting. Researchers advise secure hats and morale planning. Today: Lenore & Tilly 10am. Dusty, Macy, Rosa & Sam 11am. Amari & Suki 12pm. Sabine 12.30pm. Valerie 1pm. Lottie 3pm. Since 2005.

PUBLIC NOTICE 025 The ordinary has been cancelled. Good company has manners. Today at Funhouse: Lenore, Sabine & Tilly from 10am. Dallas, Dusty, Esther, Rosa & Sam from 11am. Suki from 12pm. Macy & Valerie from 6pm. Several excellent alternatives remain available. Since 2005.

WEDNESDAY. Morale looks better indoors. Today at Funhouse: Lenore from 10am. Amari, Dallas, Rosa from 11am. Suki from 12pm. Valerie & Zoe from 6pm. Sam in Christchurch. Several excellent decisions remain available. Since 2005.

SATURDAY UPDATE Cloudy skies. Wellington wind. Classic research conditions. ✨ Dallas ✨ Lenore ✨ Lottie ✨ Macy ✨ Minx ✨ Rosa ✨ Sabine ✨ Zoe A noticeable improvement in morale remains available. The weather may be unruly. We are not. 💋

WEATHER NOTE 019 Wellington is sunny, but has selected the “brr” setting. Friday morale planning is advised. Today at Funhouse: Lenore & Lottie from 10am. Amari, Dallas, Macy, Rosa from 11am. Sabine from 1pm. Further warmth may be arranged. Since 2005.

WEEKEND BULLETIN 013 The w.e.e.k.e.n.d has been confirmed. Researchers report improved morale and a sharp decline in weekday nonsense. Today at Funhouse: Zoe from 11am. Macy from 12pm. Lenore from 2pm. Ariel by advance booking. Further investigation is encouraged.

D-Day today, a date worth pausing for. Some days don’t need a clever angle, just respect for those who lived through history so others could have quieter lives. At Funhouse today: Amari, Dallas, Lenore, Lottie, Macy, Minx, Noa, Sabine, Tilly and Zoe. Ariel by advance booking.

The Funhouse Research Division is pleased to report: • Morale remains encouraging. • Standards remain high. • The week has been deemed sufficiently long. ✨ Amari ✨ Dallas ✨ Lenore ✨ Lottie ✨ Macy ✨ Minx ✨ Noa ✨ Rosa ✨ Sabine ✨ Suki ✨ Tilly Researchers are quietly optimistic.

Saturday Bulletin: An unreasonable quantity of temptation has been authorised. Dusty, Lenore, Lottie, Macy, Noa & Sabine are here today. Further updates will be issued as the situation develops.