Lorry driver joke from my second Live at the Apollo. New tour drops on Halloween. Link in bio.

A story in three parts

One time I went to A and E with a vacuum cleaner nozzle stuck

2001 mortgage joke

Apollo quickie.

Old gold. The grief counsellor joke.

I put on a lot of weight

Second preview in Chorley with Alun Cochrane. Great crowd. Tested loads of stuff. Tour starts April. On sale next month.

Reformed ham joke

Cat person

Pedantic

Shortest joke

Fairground joke

All weekend I’ve been getting message about the sad death of The Duchess of Kent, asking if I’ll be attending the funeral etc. For new followers this video explains why. Never make a mistake on a panel show.

Impression of a mime with Tourette’s

Things a news reporter would never say

50 is the new 40.

Rejected jokes - orphan

Rejected jokes - rock, paper, scissors.

Unlikely things for a sports commentator to say

Unlikely things to read on a health insurance form

Bad things to ask at a job interview

Mock quickie