Bentley

@getbentley

Average Geek. Hobbies: Fixing Computers, Reading, Gaming (High and Low Tech). Currently working Food Retail (Don't speak for my employer, they have a whole PR Department.) He/Him

358 Folgt449 Follower1.798 Posts

Bluesky

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Bentley@getbentley· 6d

A meme image of George Bush finding out about the planes hitting on 9/11.

"When the second cheerleading routine hits."

Bentley@getbentley· Jul 10

I just love these very timely alerts. So rapid and effective. They will definitely save lives by their arrival 30+ minutes after the incident.

A phone notification screen. "...Thunderstorm statement has been issued until July 10th 4:15 p.m. by national weather service."

The notification arrival time "now" is highlighted, as is the time within the notification, and the current time at the top of the screen. The weather warning has clearly arrived 40 minutes late.

Bentley@getbentley· Jul 2

"It's hot out." "How hot is it?" "Well..."

Screenshot from the Honda Link App:

CBMS Problem!
The Collision Mitigation Braking System has a problem. Have your vehicle checked by a dealer.

Schedule Service?

Bentley@getbentley· Jun 21

Werner Herzog with a speech bubble to the quoted skeet below.

Bentley@getbentley· May 27

Life advice from a man who just turned 90: Love everyone.

A vanilla cupcake with vanilla frosting. A toothpick holds a sign that says 'Vintage 1936'. It sits on a red tablecloth with the edges of clear plates barely visible.

Bentley@getbentley· May 19

That was fun. My machine glitched twice, but I got it done. (Paper ballots FTW)

A sticker declaring "I'm a Georgia voter." And "I secured my vote!"

Bentley@getbentley· May 14

Wondering why I wasn't getting notification emails, turns out Outlook decided that the messages I ALWAYS read, but don't reply to are junk.🤦‍♂️ At least I know how to manipulate Outlook via Rules™️.

A rule running in Outlook online. The name is redacted, but it is 30% complete and processing message number 5,850 of 19,064.

Bentley@getbentley· May 8

The average American has three friends:

Bentley@getbentley· Apr 4

When you leave the forest, leave the weight behind. #localparks #nature #meadow

A nature photo showing a path leading out of the forest. It is partially paved with irregular flat stone tiles and changes abruptly to dirt and gravel. In the distance it ends at a paved path with a park map stand and large stone markers. A wooden post marks the entry of the forest on the left. A tree stands over a picnic table with several branches curving over the path. A bright and open meadow lies beyond.

Bentley@getbentley· Apr 4

A peaceful moment at the bridge. #localparks #nature #forest

A nature photo showing a creek carving through a forest from a slightly elevated viewpoint. A fallen log crosses the meandering creek in an X shape. A path is partially visible on the left under the orange glow of the setting sun, obscured by the hill and trees. The water reflects the tree canopy and blue sky. The forest floor itself is dappled brown leaves interrupt by green moss and plant shoots.

Not pictured: the bridge over the creek, from which the photo was taken.

Bentley@getbentley· Mar 28

So jealous. We just get the infamous months long yellow cloud, and occasionally a sickly shade of green sky.

An angled photo of a car hood. Dry water spots of pollen dot the metallic gray surface, but an overall yellow dusting is visible beneath. There is a faint reflection of a tree.

Bentley@getbentley· Mar 20

A Dune inspired poster featuring a Bible verse that is not particularly SFW.

Ezekiel 23:20
"There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses."

Bentley@getbentley· Mar 16

Goodbye sleep. Hello shoes, robe, and lantern by the bedroom door.

A clipped screenshot of two stacked Serious Weather Alerts. A Freeze Warning and a Tornado Watch.

Bentley@getbentley· Mar 2

Much like The Simpsons, Futurama prophecies are proving surprisingly accurate.

A TV mounted on a wall shown from a side angle. On screen is an ad for the "NEW Bachelor Chow: Now With Flavor!" It depicts a hand holding a spoon scooping a dogfood like substance out of a dog bowl. There are wavy lines indicating either heat or a disgusting smell, perhaps both.

Bentley@getbentley· Feb 22

Results may vary.

A screenshot of Alexa voice history asking, "Alexa, can you perform exorcisms?" and the response, "Here you go."

Bentley@getbentley· Feb 6

No new pictures. Where are you at mentally?

The image depicts the classic trolley problem except there is no person tied to the alternate set of tracks.

The text reads, "Every day your job is to pull the lever and prevent the trolley from causing injury and death.

You barely make enough money to pay rent.

Someone needs to do it, but they will probably not be able to find someone to replace you very easily at what they're paying if you decide to quit.

When you started, you just wanted to help people, but now you're just tired.

So damn tired."

Bentley@getbentley· Feb 1

If it helps, It could be worse.

A cropped screenshot of the weather showing 17 degrees Fahrenheit that feels like 3 degrees due to humidity and wind chill. At the bottom is the Winter Storm Warning for most of Georgia.

Not pictured: 4 inches of snow that meant I had to call a family member to pick me up from work, because I do not have a 4 wheel drive vehicle, and over half the roads were closed due to wrecks or large ice slicks.

Bentley@getbentley· Jan 24

Can someone comm LJG Tendi, Co-Chief Science Officer? We have some more synapses to recalibrate with respect to pears.

Bentley@getbentley· Jan 24

Shocking News!

A notification from Waze (a GPS and commuter app) titled GA Winter Storm, with the message body, 'May impact routes in your area'.

Bentley@getbentley· Dec 4

Remember when the government added chemicals to the water to make the animals gay? Pepperidge Farm remembers.

Three flavor blasted goldfish crackers partially fused and overlapping in ways that would be vaguely suggestive in mammals sitting on a white paper towel.

Bentley@getbentley· Nov 23

This is an incredibly important step, and delaying the necessary paperwork is deeply negligent. I got shipped a recalled product once (after the immediate watch period). It had a newer Expiration and a different Lot Code, so it slipped through. The register stop is the only reason we caught it.

A cropped excerpt from the article.

"The retailer also said it has a

'sales restriction' in place on ByHeart

products, which electronically stops the

products' barcode from being scanned

and sold to a customer when they check

out."

Bentley@getbentley· Nov 6

We were warned about people like him: (Can't read watermark for original artist, sorry.)

Bentley@getbentley· Nov 4

It's election day! Make sure you vote, even if there's only smaller (state, county, and/or municipal) matters on your ballot. Democracy needs your participation to keep going.

A voter sticker declares, "I'm a Georgia Voter! I secured my vote!" In black text over and around and peach drawing.

Bentley@getbentley· Oct 18

Without downloading anything, where are you at mentally right now?

A Therapist and Client are sitting in a traditional therapy setting.

Therapist with notebook asks, "What happened the last time you used a public toilet?"

Client, demonstrating by pouring gasoline into the lot fire in their groin area, replies, "I set my crotch on fire.'

Therapist pulling out phone to record, "Hang on. I've totally gotta get a video of this."

Comic randomly generated by:
The Oatmeal // Horrible Therapist Comic Generator

Bentley@getbentley· Sep 7

A screenshot of the quoted quiz showing 11 questions answered correctly.

Bentley@getbentley· Aug 21

...and the final product note: 🤣🤣🤣

Note: This candle is about the fall of the Western Roman Empire. If you are looking for a candle about the fall of the Byzantine empire, you are going to have to make it yourself. (It probably won't be as popular as our candle, but it will outlast it by about a thousand years.)

Bentley@getbentley· Aug 21

Me: Costco run took longer than expected, I'll buy dinner tonight. Fortune Cookie from Dinner: *Judgement more intense than midnight under a new moon*

The paper fortune from a Panda Express fortune cookie sits on a generic tabletop. The fortune reads: "Save More, Spend Less."

Bentley@getbentley· Aug 9

I love this shot. It was a STEEP descent (although helpfully rough paved).

Lovely green trees in a dense forest. A few fallen logs are littered about the forest floor. Dappled golden light from the nearing sunset splashes across everything through the canopy with glimpses of clouds in a blue sky

Bentley@getbentley· Aug 9

Timeline Cleanse from my hike tonight:

Bentley@getbentley· Jul 27

Heads up for everyone who has Spotify: you can block artists via their page. It's under more options menu (the dots).