My sweaty feet or your girlfriend?

I love being expensive.

Happy Monday. Some people are checking their bank account today, knowing it’s all mine anyway.

Where did you look first? You know what, I really don’t care. Just say thank you for the honor.

I’m more seductive than your wife. CA me… then pick a fight so you can feel like it was worth it. It’ll be fun and productive hehe.

Saturday mornings are for expensive habits and slow starts. Lucky for me, I enjoy both.

The shoes come off when I’m comfortable. The wallet opens when I ask. Everyone has their role.

It is my besties birthday and she better not be sober much longer. Cover our drinks like good boys

I love going out for fancy dinners all the time. I love it even more when it’s on your card.

I love making the little ones relapse. Just cuz…

I didn’t get my pink bear cup. I need throne and CA chimes to make me feel better!

Will I tie a man up and leave him overnight. Yes. Why.. because I can. And yes he took me shopping to say thank you.

I’m keeping score. You looked at my toes again didn’t you? Send me your CA tag as a thank you.

I’ll never be low maintenance. And you’ll never be able to walk away. See, the universe just knows.

My toes or your girlfriend?

Good morning. I have plans, opinions, and absolutely no intention of lowering any of them today.

I cancel plans in my head before anyone even invites me. It’s called protecting my peace.

You’d love nothing more than to lick them on a holiday, wouldn’t you?

Happy Fourth. I’m choosing to celebrate freedom by doing exactly what I want all day.

Fridays are significantly better when you’re doing what I say.

Fresh nails always convince me I’m capable of making even better decisions. Whether that’s true is beside the point.

Today’s schedule is looking suspiciously like a series of rewards. Exactly how I intended it.

It’s always fantastic when you look for the most expensive item. On someone else’s card…. I love being me.

Bath time in the middle of the day… duh. Because I’m winning and you’re paying.

I make life harder for myself by having excellent taste. Contributing to that taste is the best isn’t it?

I’m so sweet. I would never tie you up and leave you in your backyard until you give me your 401(k). I swear.

I stopped listening between the “but” and “I can’t”. You can and should do everything for me.

I love having a personality that constantly creates unnecessary side quests for my wallet.

I’ve never once looked back and regretted having expensive taste. I’ve regretted settling…. Which is why I don’t anymore. Only the best for me.

I’m going to romanticize my own life whether anyone else understands it or not. And even if you don’t, start contributing to it.