gravekeepr

@gravekeepr

bass music loser

339 Folgt909 Follower2.232 Posts

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gravekeepr@gravekeepr· 7d

Can we start a no good at drawing club?

gravekeepr@gravekeepr· 26d

Some thoughts on grief, community, and moving on.

A friend recently told me "Nobody tells you how to grieve someone who isn't dead." I've heard multiple variations of this statement in the past few days. I'm no stranger to grief. My sister committed suicide when I was in my early 20s. That pain never really goes away. It's kind of like the ringing in my ears, it's always there, but it slowly fades into the background until something draws attention to it. Early on those moments are overwhelming, but with time they just become more of a dull ache. I have my regrets over what I could have done to prevent her death. Maybe if I'd said something different she'd still be here. Maybe if l'd supported her more she would have gotten the help she needed. I wasn't there for her in many ways. I didn't believe her. That fear drives a lot of how I act and treat people these days. You never know what someone is going through, and you never know how your words could impact them.

My friendship with 2TD has always been complicated. He has been there for me in some truly awful times. He's supported and encouraged me in a way that has helped give me the courage to actually finish and release music. I've seen him deal with people coming after him and Shelter for some truly bullshit reasons. I've also seen him have completely unproportional blow ups on other people in the scene for their negative actions. I've seen him raise up small artists and bring people together. I've also seen him get completely wrapped up in his own ego and exacerbate conflicts. He has been both the best and the worst of the scene.

2

I'm not here to offer my analysis or opinions on what happened. The statements are out there, you can read them. My thoughts on this are complicated and I don't know if I'll ever work it out. I'm writing this because I don't know how to grieve here. I don't know what moving on means in this situation. If Shelter was just another club to you and 2TD was just the guy running it, maybe it's easier for you. For those of us where Shelter was a community, a home, a family, and 2TD was a friend, we are grieving. There is plenty of justified anger floating around. But seeing people direct that anger at each other... Seeing people try to capitalize on a horrible event for their own gain... That has me wanting to walk away from everything.

But in the darkness, there have been some bright spots. I've seen people come together to support each other when they feel hopeless. I've heard some kind words from people who I've had some silly beef with in the past. I have tried to take that kindness and pass it on by mending things with people I've had tension with, or openly communicating when someone says something that upsets me rather than holding it against them. Someone told me they thought this was "very Gravekeepr" of me, but truthfully, it's not. I hold grudges. I let that shit simmer. And that's a heavy fucking burden. But while approaching someone to have an uncomfortable conversation is hard, carrying that burden for years is harder.

To the friends of 2TD, the Shelter community, and anyone who has lost their home and is upset and angry, be kind to each other. Be patient. Everyone is processing this in different ways at different rates. Don't torch your friendships in the heat of the moment. And if you already did, well, maybe build up the courage to talk to that person. Listen to each other with the intention of building understanding, not with the intention of winning the argument.

James, if you're reading this, I hope you can learn and grow from this moment. But I can't be the one to be there for you right now.

Grey, I know we've drifted apart over the years, but I hope you can heal and find some peace and stability in your future.

- grave

gravekeepr@gravekeepr· Jul 8

I'm so notoriously bad at following through on collabs but I really want to collab with everyone. If you ever wanna bounce ideas off me I can at least throw you suggestions on what I think would sound cool with them.

gravekeepr@gravekeepr· Jul 8

I've been through some shit and thankfully had some good people there for me. Now you can be there for someone during their dark times. ♥️

gravekeepr@gravekeepr· Jul 8

It's a nude beach and your mum is here.

gravekeepr@gravekeepr· Jul 8

I miss you too, but I will be back very soon!

gravekeepr@gravekeepr· Jul 8

I unfortunately suffer from chronic posting disease. I am glad you get something out of it.

gravekeepr@gravekeepr· Jul 8

Once again big kettle is out here saying you can't just use the microwave you already have to heat up a cup of water to make tea, you must go purchase another kitchen appliance to take up space on your counter next to your air fryer and your ice cream maker.

gravekeepr@gravekeepr· Jul 8

I miss you too ♥️

gravekeepr@gravekeepr· Jul 8

My biggest fan ♥️

gravekeepr@gravekeepr· Jul 8

Eye of cheese

gravekeepr@gravekeepr· Jul 8

Save it for e621 buddy

gravekeepr@gravekeepr· Jul 8

Oh here we go with the bi erasure 🙄 But fr I appreciate that and I know I'm often wrong and probably come across as an asshole a lot of the time but I'm trying to be as real as I can.