Ami RXGoblin

@hels-beastie

ND goblin living in my cat's house. My dog's fave person* I have unlimited internet & no self-limiting. *person is a questionable choice by the universe Don't tell me what you're AGAINST, show me what you are FOR Left Twix 🎃📟💊💉🥽🔮🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🏴‍☠️🇵🇸🇺🇲

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Ist das dein Profil?Übernimm es — dann gehört dir hels-beastie.dirty.social.Profil übernehmen

Ami RXGoblin@hels-beastie· 21d

so. very. orange. #caturday

Ami RXGoblin@hels-beastie· Jul 15

all cat are Best Cats. especially the horrid lil gremlins.

a black cat sits loaf style next to a wooden chair (that he chomped upon half a second after this photo was taken) looking back towards another room. unseen, is the poor Orange cat, who is tormented daily by the black [cat] menace, aka the black [cat] a-hole & i realize it feels incredibly wrong to call him that without the *cat* qualifier in today's age, but to be most fair, it's rather difficult to scream that when Cat Wars begins in another room. two words is quite a lot to get out as it is. it has been an entire year, bud, give it up, the kitten is now grown, he isn't going anywhere.

Ami RXGoblin@hels-beastie· Jul 9

What's your alternative nutrition facts label look like? mine would feature This is Halloween, Crafts, Cats, Dogs, and Do It BECAUSE You're Scared

a larger than life can of cranberry sauce lays sideways over the track of the ride Good Gravy at Holiday World. the nutrition facts label reads gems like Fun 1000%, Fear 50%, and Regrets 0%

Ami RXGoblin@hels-beastie· Jul 7

yeah, that checks

a page from the book What Moves The Dead by T. Kingfisher is shown, with the phrase "Sometimes it's hard to know if someone is insulting or just an American." highlighted

Ami RXGoblin@hels-beastie· Jun 23

i took the recycling in today. except**this** box. This box has been claimed as the Perfect Box. #Cats

a black cat sits inside a short share box, intentionally ignoring the stupid human saying mean things like 'That box should go to recycling'

Ami RXGoblin@hels-beastie· Jun 19

learned several somethings about growing garlic, learned that i have no good setup for drying it, but improvisation works, [hopefully] #gardening

small heads of garlic dry out hanging from the gaps between panels of a large baby or pet gate folded up, sitting in the guest bedroom.

Ami RXGoblin@hels-beastie· Jun 16

Mœther. You did not share your chips with your puppy baby. Mean Möther.

a merle grey dog, sadly, peeps over the edge of their person's book of the day. The Thousand Yard Stare. The Disappointment. It echoes across eternity, across the page.

Ami RXGoblin@hels-beastie· May 25

sigh caaatttss i got up early, but *DID NOT FEED THEM EARLIER* Grendel thinks i need to be sent for retraining

an orange cat gulps down dental treats from a spilled container sitting on the floor in front of a cabinet and refrigerator. he gulped faster when i reached to puck up the excess treats, as a cat do.

Ami RXGoblin@hels-beastie· Mar 26

what're you doing?

an upwards view of an orange kitten peeping over the top of a cat tower.

Ami RXGoblin@hels-beastie· Mar 22

thank you, portrait mode, for having just a hint of lag when it is dark, for this gem #caturday

a black cat sits on the arm of a couch, with a hint of his tongue sticking out. if a cat could speak, he would definitely be saying don't publish that pic, i look goofy

Ami RXGoblin@hels-beastie· Mar 19

CRIME. BAG. #Cats

and orange kitten crams himself into a bookshelf cubby, chewing upon the poor mini skeleton lounging in the mini cauldron that sits atop "Where The Sidewalk Ends." Appropriately enough, the book standing beside the cauldron is "how to keep house while drowning" by k.c. davis
KC never planned around an orange kitten.

Ami RXGoblin@hels-beastie· Mar 13

I'm highly aware of the privilege of having a full freezer of food. that said, this is gonna test me greatly, as there's no room left for this bucket, and it had way more in it than i thought

a quarter -full bucket of vanilla ice cream stands in defiance of both my stomach capacity and freezer capacity. i have no idea who will win.

Ami RXGoblin@hels-beastie· Mar 9

my couch has a gremlin

an orange teenager cat peers at a hand from behind and between the frame pieces of a couch with moss green removable back cushions. the human hand that is one literal second away from being chomped reaches towards the cat menace.

Ami RXGoblin@hels-beastie· Feb 27

well, Garm still hates the orange kitten, but if you hide one under the blanket, the other will sit nearby. maybe some day my stress relievers will stop causing me stress

a small orange teen kitten sprawls on his back, arms stretched out in abandon, under a blanket (propped up so we can see the kitten) while a sulking older black cat sits pointed the other direction.

Ami RXGoblin@hels-beastie· Feb 20

it doesn't matter how slight the temp change is, if it drops, my brain says SOUP!

a large enamel cast iron green pit simmers on an electric stove, full of sausage and vegetable soup

Ami RXGoblin@hels-beastie· Jan 24

Mœthurrr. I know you're posting about me on your silly little group. #caturday🐈

And orange kitten leans against a fuzzy green blanket, unimpressed

Ami RXGoblin@hels-beastie· Jan 12

How goofy is life that I put this sticker on my water bottle last year, and then this year we got this monster?

A pink water bottle with stickers features one with a goofy orange cat, and a real life orange cat sits beside it, looking just like the sticker cat, missing braincells and all.

Ami RXGoblin@hels-beastie· Jan 5

Cleaning and found a packet of catnip. Not really thinking much of it, I turned around and said "hey, Garm, you wanna get high?" And he said mrryeeaah suspiciously quickly. And now he is a content, sleepy drunk.

A black cat sits in a fluffy grey dog bed, eyes squinched, looking somehow high a.f.

Ami RXGoblin@hels-beastie· Dec 18

After WW12 Fur Will Fly Farther, earlier, I'm not entirely sure what is happening. For cats that very clearly "Don't Like Each Other, please note in red capital letters 🐾" they sure seem to end up next to each other more and more often.

A black cat sits loaf style on a dog bed right next to the wooden armchair where The Orange One (kitten, 7 months old, zero brain cells) snoozes.

Ami RXGoblin@hels-beastie· Dec 7

Why are my legs numb? Gee, I wonder who has managed to wedge herself under my hip and on top my toes and somehow also in my ribs?

A merle colored dog shoves her snoot under the ribs of the human, sitting on the couch, wrapped in a navy blue comforter, wearing the comfiest 'the beast' sweatshirt, while doing the toddler equivalent of taking up the entire bed despite being relatively smaller than the big human.

Ami RXGoblin@hels-beastie· Dec 2

Bro. Broseph. Bebe. I am already having trouble breathing. #CatMedic is here to comfort me in a very not very helpful way.

A black cat confidently sits on the chest of a woman with a respiratory illness in an attempted 'cat medic' pose of not-helping'

Ami RXGoblin@hels-beastie· Nov 26

Baby's first tree-killer season #caturday

An orange kitten looks with criminal intent at a rose gold tinsel yule tree in a cauldron. The tree is approximately 3 feet tall, and stands a zero chance of a non-crimebag season.

An orange kitten winces as the human deploys a yule tree sparing cat repellent citrus spray (threatened) though not intentionally festive, the cat and dog repellent spray smells of cloves and citrus, traditional scents of the tree-killer season. After needing a bandaid in less than 5 seconds of tree deployment, the human remembered this gem from veterinary textbooks: "don't fight a cat. Use your brain. Use drugs "

Ami RXGoblin@hels-beastie· Nov 24

Just some good ole boys

An orange kitten sprawls with abandon, completely chillaxing. Arms and legs akimbo? Check.

Ami RXGoblin@hels-beastie· Nov 23

No thoughts, just vibes #CaturdayIsEveryDay

An orange kitten lounges on his back, arms spread up in the air, staring at the ceiling with a blank, peaceful look on his face. The human trying to read can be seen in the edge of the photo, and we will politely pretend the mess on the side table doesn't exist.

Ami RXGoblin@hels-beastie· Nov 18

Garm, will you ever forgive me for the kitten? Garm:

A black cat sits on a green fuzzy blanket (making the human, under the blanket, have leg cramps, because why not be a menace?) with ears cocked back and a somewhat sour look on his face. Disappointed, but giving resignation too.

Ami RXGoblin@hels-beastie· Nov 10

Oh crap, he's behind me isn't he? #caturday

An orange kitten sits inside a large cardboard box with a concerned look on his face. A Helbeastie black cat glares from just behind the box.

Ami RXGoblin@hels-beastie· Nov 10

Guess who woke up to *real snow* & no gas supply turned on to the furnace? If you guessed me, you'd be wrong, as I was doing my best impression of two bears fighting a chainsaw, but the spouse had a rough morning listening to complaints of the furry mutineers.

A backyard view through a patio door, as fluffy snowflakes cascade down. A vibrant red shed in the neighbor's yard provides a pop of color.

Ami RXGoblin@hels-beastie· Nov 10

We got snow for my birthday week. That hasn't happened since we left Wyoming 😍

A look through a nighttime windshield at snow flakes starting to accumulate on the glass.

Ami RXGoblin@hels-beastie· Nov 4

#caturday is every day This thing comes in "Aww so cute aggression worthy!" And 100% crime bag.

An orange kitten pretends to be well behaved while cuddling with a grey merle dog on a green plaid fuzzy blankie on the couch. Not pictured: ten minutes later pure chaos eruption.

Ami RXGoblin@hels-beastie· Nov 2

I'm calling this a win. The Helbeastie STILL doesn't like the kitten. But little does he know...