Peter Karlin
@heykarlin
I will improve your life in such small, infinitesimal, unimportant ways you won’t even notice after years of following me.
Haven’t seen a PT Cruiser in the wild in ages. I don’t know what happened to them all, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen a popular car disappear from the streets so fast. Maybe they broke down super fast or maybe they just became uncool so fast people ditched em.
My friends are seeing the AAA Louisville River Bats and tonight’s promotion is “Nothing Night”.
Everyone knows AI is horseshit, but Ford still leapt at the chance to fire human engineers.
Blake Treinen the only Dodger refusing to wear the pride hat on Pride Night. Such a colossal piece of shit.
If you really want to be cool, I can find no faster path than kelly green door handles.
Whoa. Tom Steyer’s parents taught him to do EXACTLY what dialed in focus groups said voters wanted in a candidate. Uncanny.
When stuck with a shitty bagel from the store, toasting the hell out of it will make it somewhat bearable. Sponsored by Radisson!
I was gonna make fun of contestant Max’s glasses, but man, the whole world’s on fire with no solution in sight. Max is the smart one here.
Placed on my windshield at the dog park today. Thinking I can handle the maybe 2 minutes a week it takes to pick up dog waste. Do appreciate the dog wearing sunglasses next to his shit though.
The internet is a strange phenomenon where people feel compelled to publicly report on their latest bouts of diarrhea.