My new SHORTS have an APP and now I can't talk without using ZIPPY THE PINHEAD CAPITALIZATION. WHAT the FUCK are we EVEN DOING here? Are you CRAZY? ... LIFE is a WHIRLWIND of REPUBLICANS and MEAT!
I called him 'Evil', because he bit everyone who had ever come to the house. The wife insisted his name was 'Seamus' and he was just misunderstood. But he was definitely the chattiest animal I'd ever met since my great-aunt's talking dog Tyke. This cat would give lectures every day around 3PM.
I wonder if the lesson that history will teach is that, in order to maximize the crash, you have to squeeze every last drop out of the delusion in inflating the bubble?
This is the biggest number I've done since people stopped sending posts to alt .humor .best-of-usenet. In ten years on Facebook I've never gotten 20% the engagement, and the sign that I'm in the ragebait feed is always comments full of insults, threats, bad-faith arguments, &c. This here is better.
Historically, losing a war in Persia: ...eh, shit happens, that's a terrible place to have a war Losing a war in Persia when you outspend them on defense by 13,000%: ...ooh, that seems really bad Losing a war against LITERAL POND SCUM in your FRONT YARD...
Many people in the USA are unaware that it's so hot in Europe right now that Valtteri Bottas's Cadillac was literally singing "There Is A Fire That Never Goes Out".
I'm not a big fan of single-use kitchen tools, but we were on a Cherry Bounce kick a while back and got one of these, they're like ten bucks, and I have no complaints.
Are the writers of Trump 2 really so lazy that we have to reuse some of the same crises from Trump 1?
I disagree! From the perspective of a drummer on a budget, hats are a staple, the real status cymbal would be something extravagant you don't need every day, like a China Pang, a splash, or a sizzle cymbal.
This is a microshort, not-quite-six-word story of two posts that appeared, one right after the other, in my feed. The bad news is that we're running out of good ideas. The good news is that we've discovered the solution: we're just gonna use the bad ones from now on.
A common misunderstanding, due to the fact that someone on Long Island wants to harvest your Lower Horn.
In the finest tradition of "all economic graphs benefit from Reagan being added", more recent graphs benefit from a different event, another post in a continuing series:
I feel like Blizzard's updated code of conduct needs a "don't start nothin, won't BE nothin" clause.