Ian Hall
@ian64
I have lovely grey hair. Which I keep in this bag.
I hope that come the day of reckoning for these dangers, that this one in particular is set for a day of the kind of questioning that results in him squealing like a toddler for his mum.
She seems to like a lumpy, unsophisticated kind of hatred you only see in people who are first to get to the front when a pub fight starts happening.
I must to hand it to them, the West Midlands branch of Deliveroo up levels of efficiency to the maximum.
You can always expect any situation to be trippled in its worthlessness by having Isobel Oakeshott belching her septic wind all over it.
Thank god the Tardis was an antiquated police phone box. It could've easily gone the other way.
Never has the phrase 'Fuck Off And Die' been so vital and essential in its Fuck Off And Dieness as it is now.
Lads. Lads. You can't get something off the ground that never existed. Stop kidding yourselves. Find something else to do. Stop soiling your pants in front of everybody. It isn't the done thing.
Well, it frees up office space at the Mail, so, you know, silver linings and all that.
Words can paint pictures with a poet's colours and feeling. Here, let Nigel conjour for you the vividness of farts, the moist torpidness of vomit, and the bobbing motion of hardened, peaked turds floating in a bowl of unflushed piss.
If I get them, I'm going to call them Sex and Horror. So help me, if there are any Frankie Goes To Hollywood fans out there, bloody tell me you've figured out the painfully tenuous link.
Age yourself with a childhood crush. I'd also like to add that at one point in my life I had impeccable taste.
During every UK book tour, Miriam Margoyles can't resist the impulse to run into a field, build an 11th-century church and then give up halfway through. This is the condition commonly known as 'builder's lumfrey'.
What's interesting about Sorbo is, like many of his ilk, the way he distributes his fuckwittery freely and openly. As if handing out badges with 'Kevin Sorbo Shouldn't Be Given Sharp Objects' to passers-by.
