Tess
@itstessinadress
Australia's tallest woman and Bruce Spence's illegitimate daughter. Renowned Inner West cryptid. Creative Australia awarded director, animator, and producer. Relapsed writer. On unceded Gadigal land. She/her 🏳️⚧️ 🏳🌈
And on rainy days I can stand right in front of a window and get perfect diffuse light are you kidding me??? Asbestos or not, I'll be sad to ever move out of here
When we moved here and decided who gets what bedroom, did I choose the room with a ceiling fan? No. Did I choose the room with insulation? No. Did I choose the room with enough power points? Again, no. I chose the room with 2 windows at 90° angles to each other, so my selfies have perfect lighting ✨️
I see these two photos are making the rounds again so just a casual reminder that I am taller than both Sigourney Weaver and Lauren Phillips, in case that fact went over your head 😌
Get yourself banned from the Criterion Closet for life with a set of Original Rambo 3 Dedication stickers. Gives any of your physical media the original dedication from Rambo 3, printed on Opticlear transparent vinyl for High Definition - no motion smoothing. $12 per set of 5 stickers, limited stock
POV you're a kid on school hols in your cousin's backyard in a NSW coastal town, sunburnt and unsupervised, trying to imagine the type of holidays the people in the plane are off to
Taking all bets on how an equivalent light graze will "heal" over the next month!
Not a catcall but after an expensive, exhausting day, I was weighing an emotional support knife purchase at Daiso when the *prettiest* woman with green hair browsing notebooks said "hi, sorry, this is so awkward but I LOVE your eyeliner, what brand do you use?" & I'm still glowing from her sweetness
It started with "excuse me sister, where'd you get those glasses?" and ended with me insisting he keep them, him insisting on giving me $5 in exchange to buy myself a drink later, and me kissing his lotto ticket for luck after he wished me a truly blessed rest of my transition ✨️
Also discovered that the lighting in our dining room does ✨️wonders✨️ for my hair!
It's not easy being a beautiful clowngirl, especially a 6'3" one 😔 you wouldn't believe the reactions I get when people discover I'm not circus sized 😥
Found on an old hard drive backup: the full version of the Elephant Song, previously a patreon exclusive. I love that song. Reminds me of elephants 🥲
A little midnight lightly charred brassica because @tay.cuties.cloud would want me to
Unpacking stuff from my ex wife's place and oh, to return to when the studio had a client list and a month's operational costs in savings, crunching the numbers on investment to switch to in-house vinyl printing and it being my full time gig 😔
Apparently I'm the only person who does this just right (make her brain reset with a technique known as "scrubby rubs")
This is her way of telling me to sit down here right here sit here now please here okay sit here and provide your lap to me here okay yes good
Milly has never been on a trip anywhere but the vet before and got in a car accident on the way over but has decided a shoe rack is a good place to be until she figures out why this strange new vet office has all her owner's bedroom furniture in it and why everyone keeps hugging, please say hi
FUN STORY: my housemate has been beset by multiple tragedies so after he finished a difficult phone call I sat beside him outside to smoke & lend a supportive ear, & he opened up, & in the middle of cursing the injustice of it all finally looked over at me & went "oh FUCK I forgot about your makeup"
That costume shop cream colour sucked but my makeup teacher told me this was the shit to get, & where to get it ✨️ it cost forty entire human dollars though so you'd better believe you'll all be getting your money's worth, if you consider clowngirl pics & hard currency to be of equal value (they are)
Thought I might ~char my brassica~ seeing as the gorgeous @tay.cuties.cloud always knows what's what, and talk about tastes that do not disappoint 🤤