Jaded Cynic (@jadedcynic) · DIRTY

Jaded Cynic

@jadedcynic

Walking paradox: Would-be writer but chronic procrastinator, Pet lover with a dander allergy, Admirer of old things from 'new media'. Newfie; ask me how!

43 Folgt376 Follower1.154 Posts

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Jaded Cynic@jadedcynic· 24d

the back of a contractor's work van, along with a contact number and blurbs saying things like "insured estimates":
"We fix what ChatGPT said you should try!"

Jaded Cynic@jadedcynic· Jul 8

cdn.masto.host/kindsocial/c...

headline of an article for "The Vertartnic" (presumably a parody of 'the Atlantic'):
"Why Do Some People Still Wear Masks In 2026 And On A Completely Unrelated Note Why Is Everyone In The Office Sick Right Now Apart From The Guy In The Mask?"
and a picture of a woman wearing an N95 filter mask

Jaded Cynic@jadedcynic· Jun 27

It's been going around for years on tumblr: (and they could be waiting at a train station for a fax from their client. First commercial service was in France in 1865, 11 years before the telephone)

Consider:
* Victorian England: 1837 - 1901
* American Old West: 1803 - 1912
* Meji Restoration: 1868 - 1912
* French privateering in the Gulf of Mexico: ended circa 1830

Conclusion: an adventuring party consisting of a Victorian gentleman thief, an Old West gunslinger, a disgraced former samurai, and an elderly French pirate is actually 100% historically plausible.

*pic of same below*

Jaded Cynic@jadedcynic· Jun 18

social media post "I made a dish that turns rice into sheep's wool." with two pictures below; the left is a clear glass bowl with a black sheep's head on one side, and sheep's hooves on the bottom. The right is the same bowl, but with a heaping serving of white rice in it, making the rice look like the fluffy wool coat of a sheep.

Jaded Cynic@jadedcynic· Jun 11

cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/...

This is an inherently visual gag, so apologies if some of the humour gets lost in transcription:
a bakery/pastry shop display: a big chocolate chip cookie is on the left side, and a stand with some 'cake pops' on the right - they are yellow, have ears and sugar googly eyes and some black accents - little curves below the eyes that COULD be noses, or smiling mouths...and then a couple of horizontal lines underneath that that COULD be tensely-set mouths...or maybe just black stripes on yellow bees?
The top caption reads "they want that cookie so effing bad fr"
The bottom caption is a reply to that and says "I just realized their smiling bees, not very concerned tigers :D"

Jaded Cynic@jadedcynic· Jun 9

Repost if your account is a safe place for the trans community 💙🩷🤍

A trans flag waving against a bright blue sky with pale thin clouds

Jaded Cynic@jadedcynic· Jun 2

The only effect this has on me is I get to laugh at lazy, uncreative people:

Jaded Cynic@jadedcynic· May 30

nonadventures.com/2026/05/30/c...

a Wonderella comic strip about the importance of colorectal health checks as people get older, and why it's necessary for cartoon superheroes to be reminding us of it.

Jaded Cynic@jadedcynic· May 29

Jaded Cynic@jadedcynic· May 29

My wife has had to face down her nemesis - online bureaucracy - and now has a headache. She did what she had to, and now needs to be rewarded.

Jaded Cynic@jadedcynic· May 27

Scene from the movie "Stripes" (1981). Winger and Ziskey have decided to enlist in the US Army and are leaving their shitbox car behind. Someone tells them they can't park there, and Winger replies "We're not parking it. We're abandoning it."

Jaded Cynic@jadedcynic· May 17

Superposed caption: "The Final Boss of dad jokes."
Image of a text message exchange:

A "Knock knock!!!"
B "who's there"
A "Hike"
B "hike who?"
A "Unsuspecting son.
Dad waiting with bated breath.
Sets the perfect trap."

Jaded Cynic@jadedcynic· May 16

Post a meme made by you

A portrait of Adam Smith, before a landscape of an industrialized town, with many smokestacks.
Caption reads: "Shareholding was a mistake.
It fosters a short-term, 'instant gratification' mentality."

Jaded Cynic@jadedcynic· May 9

A Wikipedia page, titled "Toe".
The subtitle is "This article is a *stub*. OWOWOW YEEOUCH!!!"

Jaded Cynic@jadedcynic· May 8

"Tastes great!" "Less filling!"

old-style CRT TV (with knobs and everything), with the following on the screen: "SAY A FEW WORDS FROM AN OLD TV COMMERCIAL THAT AT LEAST A FEW OF US WILL REMEMBER"

Jaded Cynic@jadedcynic· May 7

And this coming from a chocoholic.

Jaded Cynic@jadedcynic· May 1

Post your warning sign

Yellow diamond roadside sign along a dirt road in flat, open scrubland.
Sign reads "CAUTION LOW FLYING AIRCRAFT".
Top of sign is bent over.

Jaded Cynic@jadedcynic· Apr 29

Quote with your vibe if you were a vampire.

A park bench on a grassy field, well lit by the sun and casting a clear shadow, with a cloud of morning mist drifting in front of it.

Caption reads: "Almost saw a vampire on my morning walk"

Jaded Cynic@jadedcynic· Apr 27

Screenshot from "Black Panther" where Ross bows to T'challa but the latter stops him and says "We don't do that here."
Caption above leads in with:
Canada: discussing how spring patio season is around the corner
Newfoundland:

(it's april 27 and we're still picking our way around the rained-on remains of the weekend's snowfall, and the temps are hovering on the wrong side of 0c.)

Jaded Cynic@jadedcynic· Apr 19

That tracks...

Steam page screenshot from arguably the most overpriced game on the platform:
AI Generated Content Disclosure
The developers descibe how their game uses AI Generated Content like this:
Artificial Intelligence (AI) was leveraged for key aspects of the game's development, including in-game logic, support systems, and certain artistic assets.

Jaded Cynic@jadedcynic· Apr 17

Dave Chapelle, in a blue suit with a red tie, playing out the "modern problems require modern solutions" meme, but the caption is "Modern problems require old-school solutions"

Jaded Cynic@jadedcynic· Mar 31

If you see this, we IMPLORE you to post a picture from whatever device you're using without explanation

Scene from The Road To El Dorado: Tulio & Miguel are holding large rocks and look like they're about to use them as weapons, angry expressions on their faces. A superposed caption reads: "When you spot someone being ableist but you are a cainist"

Jaded Cynic@jadedcynic· Mar 30

Stop scrolling and post two characters who bring you happiness.

Recurring scene from Slow Horses; SIS 'Power Behind The Throne' Diana Taverner - always looking sleek, fashionably-dressed and more than a little intimidating - having a 'so secret even the Service doesn't know' meeting with shabby, sloven Jackson Lamb - supposedly over-the-hill burned-out field agent-cum-detention monitor for Service fuck-ups - late at night on a bench on a quiet bend of a forgotten canal where even the London CCTV network doesn't see...

Jaded Cynic@jadedcynic· Mar 29

...and those 'marketplace vendors' weren't just blatant frauds and thieves.

A Walmart online shopping site page, offering a gift card purchase of "Valve - Steam Wallet Prepaid Card ($20)" by 'GADGET UPGRADE' (yet lower down is noted: "Sold & Shipped by Ami Ventures Inc.")
for a selling price of:

SEVENTY-NINE DOLLARS AND FIFTY-FIVE CENTS.

(for a $20 gift card - bought in-store, the price is....Twenty Dollars.)

Jaded Cynic@jadedcynic· Mar 20

a stock price over time graph of nVidia's stock: red line proceeds from 21 Jan in mean stable progress until in between 23 Jan and 24 Jan; the red line continues but drops precipitously and is now captioned "DLSS Off". A bright green line splits off from the announcement time, but is on a jerky but steady rise, smoother and less accurate than the actual graph plot and is clearly added later; it is captioned "DLSS On".

Jaded Cynic@jadedcynic· Mar 13

Two panels:
First from the finale of "A Muppet Christmas Carol" where Michael Caine's Scrooge calls down from his window "You there, boy! What day is it?"
Second from one of the later Friday the 13th films - Jason looking up to the camera, his newer metal hockey mask embedded into his face...

Jaded Cynic@jadedcynic· Mar 11

Jaded Cynic@jadedcynic· Mar 9

Jaded Cynic@jadedcynic· Mar 8

Tumblr posts;

first by markovchaingang:

hey you. teenage girl writing in her diary. quit talking about the boy you have a crush on and start writing about the current political situation, the valuation of currencies, andthe level of technology your people hold. your diary might be the only piece of evidence our society existed after nuclear war fries all of our data backups. future historiens don't need to know about damian, they need at least a secondhand accounts of the great water wars and whether or not your leaders truly did worship a deity called "the free hand of the market"

follow-up post, also by markovchaingang

alright, alright. you can talk about the clothes that damian was wearing. but only if you promise to define what each article of clothing actually is, ideally describing the materials they're typically made from also

Jaded Cynic@jadedcynic· Mar 3

The Simpsons' Principal Skinner, looking down at the camera with disgust. Caption reads "Pathetic."