Jenny Hayes (@jennyhayes) · DIRTY

Jenny Hayes

@jennyhayes

Seattle writer, former '80s Berkeley teenager, punk rock wine mom. (she/her)

1.753 Folgt3.629 Follower2.689 Posts

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Jenny Hayes@jennyhayes· 7d

For your consideration:

Patricia Lockwood
@TriciaLockwood
me, lightly touching miette with the side of my foot: miette move out of the way please so I don't trip on you
miette, her eyes enormous: you KICK miette? you kick her body like the football? oh! oh! jail for mother! jail for mother for One Thousand Years!!!!

wint @dril
girls always love to telling people not to"
Mansplain"
but they do not care of, "Man's Pain"

bug tina
@bumwees
Whoa Black Betty
Anagram
Boat belt wacky
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Black Betty had a child
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Hatchback badly tiled
Anagram
11/25/18, 4:44 PM

Butsay @Butsay_
why are you so sick ae other cunt's genders as if it's any yer actual business? sittin up at night pure foamin at the mouth hinkin aboot other folk's genitals like a fuckin weirdo
Michael @mikeyreilly67
Sick a this gender shite if you've got a dick yer a boy if you've got a fud yer a lassie end of

Jenny Hayes@jennyhayes· 8d

Oh my god

"The best way I can describe it is it looked like a Studio Ghibli movie," Correa said. "It was their boat, and they were all out and about roaming around on it."

Jenny Hayes@jennyhayes· 9d

Not really any of the above but maybe you need to see this incredible Nicolas Cage library poster

Nicolas Cage looking sultry holding a mass market copy of Siddhartha under the word "READ"

Jenny Hayes@jennyhayes· 15d

Genres

White shelves full of assorted secondhand glassware. The shelves have small labels reading "fiction" "nonfiction" "travel" "spiritual"

Jenny Hayes@jennyhayes· 18d

Did you know you can just order a magical cheese package any time

Four cheeses from Cowgirl Creamery and some crackers in a box

Jenny Hayes@jennyhayes· 20d

There's a Jimothy art contest

A person holding a very realistic life sized paper mache Jimothy on a stick

Jenny Hayes@jennyhayes· 20d

Went to the farmers market, ended up at the official Seattle Jimothy proclamation event

A crowd of people at Bergen Place in Seattle's Ballard neighborhood, listening to Councilmember Rinck proclaim that it's Official Jimothy Summer (or something, not completely sure of the details)

A man dressed like Jimothy in a raccoon suit making a sprint around the crowd

Jenny Hayes@jennyhayes· 25d

Saw this one recently in Seattle! (The site has a map where other people have set them up too)

A blue box (maybe formerly a newspaper dispenser) with DVDs and a couple VHS tapes inside, painted blue with yellow writing "TAKE A MOVIE, LEAVE A MOVIE" and FREE BLOCKBUSTER.ORG

Jenny Hayes@jennyhayes· 26d

I've been playing this cool word game called Morphology (on the Daily Baffle), all individually created, and they accepted a submission of mine! It'll be online for 24 hrs. (But I'm super bummed to hear they're about to stop publishing these.) dailybaffle.com

The Daily Baffle site with Morphology by Jenny Hayes.

Jenny Hayes@jennyhayes· Jul 17

Sorry to everyone who didn't just win the "Tube Sock Murders Survival Kit" raffle prize at an arts fundraiser.

Tube socks with rainbow stripes, nose glasses, magnifying glass, and an emergency whistle, all on a table with a view of Puget Sound in the background.

Jenny Hayes@jennyhayes· Jul 4

Post a random picture or else everything will go bad in July.

The back of a shiny blue van with the words "JUST CLOWN'N AROUND!" in rainbow letters, plus an illustration of two small, somewhat menacing looking clowns.

Jenny Hayes@jennyhayes· Jul 2

Just came across this pic saved 3 years ago... Sadly still accurate.

A picture of the Supreme Court but everyone's face is the clown emoji except for Jackson, Kagan, and Sotomayor.

Jenny Hayes@jennyhayes· Jun 27

Seems about right

89% Woke 11% Chud
39% Techbro 61% Neo-
Luddite
70% Hopepilled 30% Doomer
78% Davos 22% Dubai
YOUR CLOSEST MATCH:
Sanna Marin

Jenny Hayes@jennyhayes· Jun 21

Apparently I saved this picture in 2018... My gift to you all this Father's Day

A Craigslist posting from Victoria, BC for a "Beautiful 'Ball Sack' Guitar" for $3500. It is indeed a guitar with a large ball sack. Description reads "Custom made "ball sack" guitar, absolutely gorgeous. I will sacrifice this gem for $3,500! Jay Turser pickups and hardware. A classy guitar that will open many doors for you."

Jenny Hayes@jennyhayes· Jun 11

Enjoying everyone's enthusiasm here

Jenny Staff Johnson @hto... • now
Chaos! At the NBA finals

Ally @allyzay.bsky.social •now
IM RUNNING IN CIRCLES AROUND MY APARTMENT?????

Kate Tuttle @katekilla.bsky.... • now
!!!!!!!

Jenny Hayes@jennyhayes· Jun 5

These are the books I bought in Spain, AMA

10 books.
PANZA DE BURRO - Andrea Abreu
SPANDEX -Joaquín Rodriguez
Set On Edge - BERNICE RUBENS
This is Not a Love Story: Anarcha-feminism in Romania
22 Fictions
A Line Drawn or Printed: Six Routes Through Madrid -Jayne Marshall
Permafrost - Eva Baltasar
The Time of Cherries - Montserrat Roig

Jenny Hayes@jennyhayes· May 29

Thought of this article today when confronted with this rage-inducing "error"

"Images can exceed 3 MB. All other files must stay under 3 MB. (jpg, jpeg, bmp, png, pdf, gif, tif, doc, docx, xls, xlsx, txt) Drop your files here or browse files on your computer"
My upload: IMG_4579.jpeg
Error message: "Images can exceed 3 MB. All other files must stay under 3 MB."

Jenny Hayes@jennyhayes· May 5

What I'm wearing to the Met Gala

Edith Massey in her incredible black lace-up jumpsuit from Female Trouble

Jenny Hayes@jennyhayes· May 4

Tagged myself

One of the little medieval (?) guys from previous post. Some kind of creature looking simultaneously irritated, confused, and possibly amused.

Jenny Hayes@jennyhayes· Apr 27

🥳🥳🥳

A Seattle independent Bookstore Day "passport" with stamps from all 33 participating stores. More info at https://www.seattlebookstoreday.com

Jenny Hayes@jennyhayes· Apr 24

the most recent meme in your photo roll describes your mental state. (honestly very accurate)

A cute rabbit sort of like something out of Beatrix Potter, carrying a book and a spear and wearing some armor. Text reads BORN TO DILLY DALLY / FORCED TO FIGHT FASCISTS

Jenny Hayes@jennyhayes· Apr 9

Ted Cruz speech bubble

Jenny Hayes@jennyhayes· Apr 5

Oliveposting to support the cause

A spritz, two espresso martinis , and some very nice olives (castelvetrano and kalamata, marinated in rosemary olive oil with bits of orange rind) on a white marble table top.

Jenny Hayes@jennyhayes· Apr 2

ahhh this just reminded me of this classic

Butsay @Butsay_
why are you so sick ae other cunt's genders as if it's any yer actual business? sittin up at night pure foamin at the mouth hinkin aboot other folk's genitals like a fuckin weirdo
Michael @mikeyreilly67
Sick a this gender shite if you've got a dick yer a boy if you've got a fud yer a lassie end of

Jenny Hayes@jennyhayes· Mar 27

Yes!!

$20 donation

Jenny Hayes@jennyhayes· Mar 27

I guess he's OK? I have no idea how this works

Early life, education, and
career
Van Hollen was born in Karachi, Pakistan, the eldest of three children of American parents, Edith Eliza (née Farnsworth) and Christopher Van Hollen. 71181 His
fotharunes Carainn Corvino officer

Jenny Hayes@jennyhayes· Mar 24

Can confirm that clown events are still possible!!

Buncha clowns sitting at an outdoor bar

Jenny Hayes@jennyhayes· Mar 22

Please appreciate this dramatic avocado toast

Slice of toasted bread topped with avocado, cucumber slices, pickled onion, cherry tomatoes, microgreens, black sesame seeds, and a pretzel

Jenny Hayes@jennyhayes· Mar 14

If you see this post a vampire that isn't Dracula

Pam from True Blood with big blonde hair and a trashy red dress

Jenny Hayes@jennyhayes· Feb 9

Talking about people who are "too busy being Latino" and then immediately claiming no one in the town "sees a race"... How

"They were too busy being Latino and not running the city," said the current mayor, Steve Rhodes, adding that race was not something people worried about in Wilder. "I don't know anyone in town that sees a race," he said.