Jessica Dennis 👩🏻‍💻🐈‍⬛

@jessicadennis

I’m here to read books and pet cats, and I’m all outta — actually, no, I have plenty of both. I also make software and opine about everything. I only get paid for one of those, though (the first one — my employer neither knows nor cares for my opinions).

252 Folgt214 Follower1.492 Posts

Bluesky

Ist das dein Profil?Übernimm es — dann gehört dir jessicadennis.dirty.social.Profil übernehmen

Jessica Dennis 👩🏻‍💻🐈‍⬛@jessicadennis· 7d

There's a spotted lantern fly (boo! hiss!) on the outside of my office window, and Audrey is losing her mind wanting to kill it (understandable)

A black cat in front of a window, stretching upward toward the large insect visible but clearly outside of the window.

Jessica Dennis 👩🏻‍💻🐈‍⬛@jessicadennis· 16d

I mean

Jessica Dennis 👩🏻‍💻🐈‍⬛@jessicadennis· 19d

The North American cover of the Ace of Base album The Sign

Jessica Dennis 👩🏻‍💻🐈‍⬛@jessicadennis· 20d

Yeah I chose Jack and the Noid for that reason, and Bob’s Bog Boy and the kool aid man because they’re huge (and kool aid man can drown people probably). I’m assuming I get the full statue-sized Bob, like so

Jessica Dennis 👩🏻‍💻🐈‍⬛@jessicadennis· 21d

Update: here’s the baby

A little brown tabby kitten on the sidewalk leading to my front porch, with their mom cat right behind them. In the foreground is the *extremely clean* bowl in which I gave the mom a can of cat food earlier.

Jessica Dennis 👩🏻‍💻🐈‍⬛@jessicadennis· 21d

Audrey does not approve

A tiny orange cat, viewed from the window next to my front door. The back of my black cat’s head is visible at the bottom of the frame; she is glaring at the orange kitty.

Jessica Dennis 👩🏻‍💻🐈‍⬛@jessicadennis· Jul 1

They found a bug

Three cats (torbie, tuxedo, and solid black, from left to right) are arranged in a sort of triforce shape around some kind of tan beetle-like insect in my living room

Jessica Dennis 👩🏻‍💻🐈‍⬛@jessicadennis· Jun 28

I want to go get more tea, but my current lap status is

A small torbie cat asleep on a bright fuzzy blanket covering my legs. She’s in the half-curled 🍤 position.

Jessica Dennis 👩🏻‍💻🐈‍⬛@jessicadennis· Jun 20

Here, you can borrow this one

A tuxedo cat with a white stripe on his nose and a solid white cat are curled up together in a box with a pink towel in it, in front of a heat register. The white cat is asleep and the tuxedo cat is barely awake enough to give the camera the side-eye

Jessica Dennis 👩🏻‍💻🐈‍⬛@jessicadennis· Jun 9

It had been a while since I'd had a headache day

The horse from Ren & Stimpy, standing upright on his back legs (as he does) with his… hand-hooves… on his uhhh hips I guess (this is very bad horse anatomy), wearing an olive green suit jacket (no pants of course), white shirt, and red necktie. He has a skeptical look on his face. The image includes his catch phrase, “no sir, I don’t like it.”

Jessica Dennis 👩🏻‍💻🐈‍⬛@jessicadennis· Jun 1

This is a cat check point. Toll is the most recent cat picture on your phone.

A small torbie cat sits in the back of a gray couch, one paw extended forward toward the viewer

Jessica Dennis 👩🏻‍💻🐈‍⬛@jessicadennis· May 7

When I was 11 I took a painting class after school; I had absolutely no talent, and I also didn't work very hard at it. At some point my parents unearthed one of my acrylics, framed it, and hung it on the wall in their living room. It is very bad!

An extremely amateurish acrylic painting, maybe 8 inches by 12 inches, graded in brown wood. The subject is a mountain, a palm tree, and a hibiscus bush. It looks like there was a river coming from the mountain at some point, but I painted over it (not completely, obviously).

Jessica Dennis 👩🏻‍💻🐈‍⬛@jessicadennis· Apr 23

My most recent sourdough — I still haven’t got the bulk ferment time exactly right, and it really doesn’t help that the weather has been all over the place lately, but here I am, still trying!

A loaf of sourdough bread indicates out of the oven, still in the red enameled cast iron Dutch oven I baked it in (lined with both a sheet of parchment paper and one of those silicone things that consists of a circle under the bread and two arms that are useful for lifting it out). Also visible are some of my baking supplies: two bags of flour, a canister of malt powder, my lame, and a banneton.

The inside of my sourdough loaf, several hours later. It has a decent crumb with fairly even holes, and a thinner, less overdone bottom crust than previous attempts — I put a sheet pan on the rack under my Dutch oven to redirect some of the heat from the heating element.

Jessica Dennis 👩🏻‍💻🐈‍⬛@jessicadennis· Apr 16

I’m uhhhh not sure what happened with those cookies on the right

11 cookies on a sheet pan; seven of them are nice respectable-looking cookies, while four are weird spready nightmare cookies. The bad ones were the dregs of the dough, but that’s the only difference!

Jessica Dennis 👩🏻‍💻🐈‍⬛@jessicadennis· Apr 11

Oh, you want to see it?

A loaf of sourdough bread cooling on a cooling rack, still sitting on the piece of parchment paper it was baked on. The crust is decently golden brown, with little bubbles (probably thanks to the cold proof).

Jessica Dennis 👩🏻‍💻🐈‍⬛@jessicadennis· Apr 5

(But not like that!)

Jessica Dennis 👩🏻‍💻🐈‍⬛@jessicadennis· Apr 2

And who can forget Miette?

A screenshot of a tweet by Patricia Lockwood (@TriciaLockwood):

me, lightly touching miette with the side of my foot: miette move out of the way please so I don't trip on you

miette, her eyes enormous: you KICK miette? you kick her body like the football? oh! oh! jail for mother! jail for mother for One Thousand Years!!!!

Originally posted Mar 19, 2019 at 4:24 PM

Jessica Dennis 👩🏻‍💻🐈‍⬛@jessicadennis· Apr 2

As a certified cat lady, I like this one

Screenshot of a tweet by @noveldevice:

Imagine if humans acted at doctor and dentist appointments like some cats do for the vet.

You show up with a knife in each hand and plunk down on the exam table like "I FUCKING DARE YOU".

Originally posted Jun 2, 2022 10:34 PM

Jessica Dennis 👩🏻‍💻🐈‍⬛@jessicadennis· Mar 31

The most uncomfortable musical segment! Incidentally, I’m not-mad-just-disappointed forever about new Greg vs. old Greg

Jessica Dennis 👩🏻‍💻🐈‍⬛@jessicadennis· Mar 28

Why, spring?

A screenshot of my 10-day weather forecast, with highs ranging from 81° to 43° (Fahrenheit) and lows as low as 31°. And a bunch of rain, but whatever — it’s the temperature roller coaster I object to.

Jessica Dennis 👩🏻‍💻🐈‍⬛@jessicadennis· Mar 27

I’ve been making due with Ikea Fiskelage birds in dark and light wood, and I do love that they’re creepy little potato birds, but there’s just something about the Eames bird

Four blonde wood carvings that purport to be birds, on skinny little black wire legs. They’re really just sort of blobs, some more sidereal and others more elongated, with the suggestion of a pointy beak at the front and maybe a tail at the back.

Jessica Dennis 👩🏻‍💻🐈‍⬛@jessicadennis· Mar 14

Not bad

A loaf of sourdough bread with a pet nice crumb — evenly distributed, medium-size holes, and a crispy crust

Jessica Dennis 👩🏻‍💻🐈‍⬛@jessicadennis· Mar 8

This is what I’m applying Kerrygold butter to today

A loaf of sourdough bread on a white plastic cutting board, somewhat poorly sliced, with a decent crumb and nice crispy crust. To the left is a sheet of “bees wrap,” which is beeswax coated cloth that purports to keep bread fresher longer.

Jessica Dennis 👩🏻‍💻🐈‍⬛@jessicadennis· Mar 2

Made another bread today. This time I put a larger proportion of AP to bread flour (by accident) and added a little malt powder (on purpose), gave it a longer bulk ferment (mostly on purpose), and turned my oven temp down (on purpose: it runs hot, I’m pretty sure)

The insides of a bread (2 slices having been removed), with fairly uniformly distributed medium-sized holes. The crust is a nice golden brown color. In the background is my butter dish and a bag of Tostitos.

The whale shark magnet on my refrigerator is visible, but very out of focus (I just think it’s neat; I got it at the Georgia Aquarium a little over 10 years ago).

Jessica Dennis 👩🏻‍💻🐈‍⬛@jessicadennis· Feb 22

And the inside

A sourdough loaf that has had the end sliced off, revealing large-ish, dispersed holes

Jessica Dennis 👩🏻‍💻🐈‍⬛@jessicadennis· Feb 22

The result

A very round loaf of sourdough bread on parchment paper on a cooling rack. The “ear” along the top edge of the slash is maybe a bit overdone, but otherwise the loaf is a nice golden brown color.

Jessica Dennis 👩🏻‍💻🐈‍⬛@jessicadennis· Feb 21

This morning I made a bread. It turned out pretty good, which historically hasn’t been the case for me and this starter.

A loaf of sourdough bread, recently removed from the oven, cooling on a cooling rack. It’s still sitting on the parchment with which I lined the Dutch oven I baked it in, because I used that as a handle to remove it from said Dutch oven. The bread is a pretty reasonable shape and color.

Inside of the bread after the first slice was sliced, revealing some larger holes but mostly pretty evenly distributed smaller holes.

Jessica Dennis 👩🏻‍💻🐈‍⬛@jessicadennis· Feb 18

Lid piggy vents steam through his nose — it’s more practical than you might think, for something so whimsical. It’s pretty much exactly the right size for a standard corelle bowl.

A pink silicone circle with a little pig face (ears, little dots for eyes, and nose) in the center; the nostril holes serve as steam vents

Jessica Dennis 👩🏻‍💻🐈‍⬛@jessicadennis· Feb 18

This a CAT checkpoint. Show me the most recent cat image on your phone.

A black cat and a tuxedo cat recline in front of a fireplace. There’s a fuzzy blanket on top of an ikea sheepskin in front of the fire (because the black cat wouldn’t stop licking the sheepskin), with about a million cat toys scattered on it. The tuxedo cat is stretched out, reaching one little white paw to any an inch away from the black cat’s nose. Important context: the black cat hates the tuxedo cat.

Jessica Dennis 👩🏻‍💻🐈‍⬛@jessicadennis· Feb 2

This is who runs this account