Jo Conklin Author

@joconklin

I write kissing books! (And sometimes murder and magic books). Rep’d by Leah Pierre at Ladderbird Literary. JoConklin on most socials. Black Lives Matter 🏳️‍⚧

2.807 Folgt7.426 Follower4.286 Posts

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Jo Conklin Author@joconklin· Jun 3

May we all have an excellent day this June the third.

A scene from Our Flag Means Death in which Lucius reads from the oversized pirate log book, on the deck of a pirate ship surrounded by British soldiers and his fellow pirates under arrest. He reads, “June the third. An excellent day!”

Jo Conklin Author@joconklin· May 30

Then you’re gonna love Doug Jones 😭

Actor Doug Jones on an Oscars red carpet in a tailored black tuxedo. He has a classic Marfanoid figure with extremely slender, elongated, hyper-mobile limbs. His hands are posed dramatically outsplayed with extremely long fingers. His thumb extends at an unusual right angle from the side of his palm with a significant outward curve at the joint.

Jo Conklin Author@joconklin· May 14

Your last saved meme is your moral philosophy. (I mean yeah, but I’m trying awfully hard to make it not be, though 😂)

Judge Judy in her court robes with lace collar, glaring down at someone in her courtroom with her lips pursed. The text says [judges Judily]

Jo Conklin Author@joconklin· May 3

You see a lot of these notices writing or rating community notes on big platforms like Meta, especially on partisan or social justice issues. Please remember that just because you see a lot of accounts posting something online doesn’t mean it reflects the beliefs or opinions of actual human beings.

Screenshot from a social media community notes system that says:

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Jo Conklin Author@joconklin· Apr 24

Lawyers of BlueSky! I’m a senior supervisor, but Human Resources has restricted my role of overseeing carpet removal with excuses such as “tripping people on the stairs” and “attempted house escape.” I’m confined to a remote work location with entry-level tasking like treat disposal. Please advise.

A very disgruntled white and tabby house cat lying on the floor and glaring at a closed door. Clearly there has been a crime.

Jo Conklin Author@joconklin· Apr 24

Finnegan after a hard day’s work chasing down rogue string and red dots, and subduing a catnip sock that was clearly behaving suspiciously. Visitors create all kinds of extra work for him, but we appreciate his effort as host.

A lorge white and tabby house cat stretched out on his back, body curved to fit into the corner of a recliner. His paws are tucked up like a bunny and he’s sleeping with a supremely blissful expression. His fluffy belly is begging to be pet, but it’s a trap. You will pay in blood. Might be worth it.

Jo Conklin Author@joconklin· Apr 23

Today Finnegan is working on his dating profile photo.

A big white and tabby cat lounging against the armrest of a recliner like a chaise lounge. One paw is draped across his waist and he stares intensely into the camera with a smolder worthy of Olaf. He’s licking his upper lip.

Jo Conklin Author@joconklin· Apr 22

My mom’s rescue cat Finnegan looking straight out of a 1990s high school senior photo shoot.

A big-bellied white and tabby house cat lounging against the arm of a recliner. You can almost hear the photographer telling him, “now turn your body 3/4 toward me. No don’t let your arm cross your body, put it to the side. Bring one leg forward. Now turn your head and stare pensively into the distance like you’re thinking something profound. Now try to look relaxed. Hold it, perfect.”

Jo Conklin Author@joconklin· Mar 25

I feel like I’ve unlocked a secret adulting level, because it turns out hanging the DnD sign from the peephole instead of the door handle of a hotel room keeps it in place without flying off onto the carpet every time you open the door. 🤯

A “do not disturb” sign hanging from the outside peephole of a hotel room door.

Jo Conklin Author@joconklin· Mar 18

My aunt does this with the concrete Dalmatian statue on her front porch! This is last year’s Pride outfit.

A life-size concrete Dalmatian statue in a sitting position. A rainbow tulle caplet is tied around its shoulders with a rainbow ribbon, and a rainbow flower crown made from a headband sits on its head.

Jo Conklin Author@joconklin· Mar 11

Totally worth it though.

Spectacular view from a high sandy ocean cliff of waves breaking against the beach. The sky is a perfect cloudless blue

Sunrise illuminating a canyon wall eroded by water and wind into wildly crinkled patterns like ruched fabric. At the base of the cliff, the rocks take on a bulbous shape worn smooth like mushroom caps. Desert vegetation adds patches of green between the rocks.

View from the top of a rocky seaside cliff with interesting furrows eroded into the cliff rocks like craggy tree bark.

A big red-faced bearded nerd dude wearing a hiking pack is illuminated by the sunrise at the top of a mountain. A red sandstone butte is behind him worn into a smooth abstract sculpture. In the distance you can see the ocean.

Jo Conklin Author@joconklin· Mar 11

“The cave has too many stairs,” I said. “I’ll do this three mile hike at Torrey Pines instead,” I said. “It’s marked easy,” I said.

A trail sign overlooking a lovely high view down a hill to the ocean. The sign says “Beach Trail. More than 100 stairs ahead with sandy surfaces, saltwater spray and uneven terrain. PROCEED AT YOUR OWN RISK”. I am about to make bad decisions.

An uneven flight of dirt stairs with only a loose wire railing leading up the side of a mountain, turning in the distance to reveal another flight of stairs. There is always another flight of stairs, no matter how long you climb.

An uneven set of dirt and log style stairs with a loose wire “railing” winding down the side of a mountain toward the ocean

Rough steps set into a mountain trail of hard packed clay. Erosion has carved deep fissures into the step surfaces to create uneven footing and very high spacing between them.

Jo Conklin Author@joconklin· Mar 9

Me, with a 49.5 lb checked bag and a carry-on that barely zippers: A new book isn’t THAT heavy. I’m sure it’ll be fine.

Big nerdy dude with short beard and hair standing in front of the Mysterious Galaxy book store about to make some poor life decisions.

Jo Conklin Author@joconklin· Mar 8

Maybe I’m too “old man yells at cloud” at 6am, but this single restroom at the airport is not your private break room or poop suite. It’s specifically for people who *cannot* safely or practically use the main bathrooms. If you *can* practically and safely use the main bathrooms, don’t occupy these.

An all-gender/accessible/family restroom at an airport. There is often only one per concourse. This one has been occupied by an airport or airline staff member on their break watching YouTube videos at full volume for at least forty minutes, despite a wheelchair user knocking repeatedly.

Jo Conklin Author@joconklin· Feb 21

First swim without a binder and I am a happy little trans water gremlin 🥰🥰🥰

A big bearded white dude in a navy blue swim tank floats serenely in a swimming pool of clear blue water with a silly little smile of contentment on his face.

Jo Conklin Author@joconklin· Feb 17

I made plans for the leftovers from this barbecue pork rib, and it was extremely optimistic of me to think there would be any 😅

A plate of caramelized pieces of pork rib glistening with sauce, nestled next to a pile of tender crisp roasted asparagus with Parmesan cheese.

Jo Conklin Author@joconklin· Feb 7

Today in DC feels like

A photos of a fox standing in a field of blowing snow bracing itself defiantly against the wind with hair fluffed and ears flat back.

In the 00s it was turned into a Tumblr meme with the caption “It fucken WIMDY”

Jo Conklin Author@joconklin· Dec 31

I managed to end the year with a five star read, and I hope that’s a good sign for 2026! Bolu Babalola’s Sweet Heat (and the first book Honey and Spice) belong on your TBR. They’re both exquisite, but Sweet Heat stomped all over my heart and then healed it back up again. A master class in yearning.

Cover of Sweet Heat by Bolu Babalola. Illustrated scene of an apartment overlooking London, a bed centered in the expanse of windows. A Black woman lounges on the bed looking contemplative and vulnerable, with one bent knee propped up to hide her nudity. The colors are rich sunset tones, orange, yellow, and pink, with dramatic contrasting green shadows and accents.

Jo Conklin Author@joconklin· Dec 14

The upside to having to drive all over the DMV this week is that it took me past an H-Mart! And not only do they have fresh produce at 2001 prices, they also have fresh arepas, which make the BEST crispy chewy tostadas on a cold-ass windy day 🥰

Teal plate holding a tostada made from a deep fried fresh arepa, crumbled queso fresco, mashed salted avocado, lime-marinated grape tomatoes, and habanero-pickled red onions.

Jo Conklin Author@joconklin· Dec 5

While I’m sure landlords are salivating over the color of the year, I love that the Internet has just collectively said “Fuck Pantone” and chosen phthalo green as the REAL pick. (Apparently it’s pronounced “thay-lo” green, which I wouldn’t have guessed in a billion years, but Bob Ross says so 🤷)

Color sample of a rich woodsy dark green from colorxs.com. Text reads Phthalo Green
HEX #123524 RGB(18, 53, 36)

Different tones of phthalo green (moss tone, tone, glaze, shade), varying hues of a rich, deep green that evokes cool moss, dark woods, and secret growing things.

A can of phthalo green powdered pigment, a rich deep mossy/woodsy green with cool tones and incredible depth of color.

Jo Conklin Author@joconklin· Dec 2

A lovely mycologist on threads gifted me a mushroom that shares not just my name (almost), but also many other traits. The Artistic Conk is also a fun guy who bruises easily, plays an important role in decomposition, and is quite indigestible. We’re practically twins! 🤩

Screenshot of Threads conversation

Post from JoConklin
You know, I'm pretty resistant to the idea of becoming a mushroom, but I'm sure it'll grow on me in time.

Response from thebrickschiller
Allow me to suggest that you look into a bracket fungus known as Ganoderma applanatum, the
"Artistic Conk."

Image collage of a brown and white shelf mushroom growing from the bark of trees. Text below reads: The artist's bracket, or artist's conk (Ganoderma applanatum), is a tough, woody fungus that can be used for art because its white underside instantly bruises brown when scratched. This allows people to draw or carve designs onto the surface, which can then be dried and preserved.
It is a perennial polypore that grows on dead or dying hardwood trees and plays an important role in decomposition.

Jo Conklin Author@joconklin· Nov 23

One of my favorite escapisms is watching reaction videos to songs I grew up with, but the number of young YouTubers calling Reba McEntire “that lady from the TV show my mom used to watch” and “I didn’t even know she was a singer” is making me shrivel up like the dude who drank from the wrong Grail.

Walter Donovan character from Indiana Jones and the Holy Grail, after drinking from the wrong grail and starting his hyper accelerated aging/decomposition. His hair is long and wispy, face wrinkled like a mummy’s, with eyes bulging in terror.

Jo Conklin Author@joconklin· Nov 15

If you see this, post an egg. (Me, 2012-ish?)

A black and white photo of me pre-transition, snuggling with a cat in a friend’s backyard. The neck of an acoustic guitar is in frame from where it leans against my leg (because kitties are priority!). I have long dark hair with a center part and a light color blouse on. My face is mostly hidden by the cat.

Jo Conklin Author@joconklin· Nov 9

When we say AI is eroding critical reading and thinking skills, someone posted this excerpt from their AI search to prove to me that Red 40 is banned in Australia 🤦🏼

Australian regulations: Food Standards
Australia New Zealand permits allura red AC (INS 129) as a food colouring, but not Red 40 (allura red AC, INS 129).

Jo Conklin Author@joconklin· Nov 5

Reposting with alt text! Because this is a hilarious use of a hijacked url 😂 Www.hotgirlsforcuomo.com

Post from Salgood Sam Oct 28 •
So Emily Austin [the bottle blond in the photos], a right wing 'influencer' who works for Bibi and the GOP, launched 'Hot Girls for Cuomo'. An Astroturf movement to get that dipshit elected mayor.
Guess who didn't bother to register the URL when she did that? What do you think Hot Girls for Cuomo dot com leads to now?...

Three photos of a young blond woman, one of Trump sitting in the Oval Office with her standing on one side and JD Vance standing on the other. Another of her sitting at a table with a group of politicians and a large crowd behind, and a third with a politician giving her a side hug.

Jo Conklin Author@joconklin· Nov 3

HOW DARE 😤

Screenshot of CNN article from the “gifts” section. Headline is “Book lovers have enough books. Get them one of these 27 bookish gifts instead”

By Jillian Tracy, CNN Underscored
Published 2:00 PM EDT, Thu October 30, 2025 Image of a stack of books surrounded by items like e-reader cover, mug, highlighters, and embosser.

Jo Conklin Author@joconklin· Oct 21

🥳🥳🩵🤍🩷

Screenshot from the movie Die Hard where Bruce Willis looks out a broken window looking like he’s had exactly the really stressful night he’s had and says, “welcome to the party, pal”. Line has been changed to “Welcome to the party, Tal” with a trans pride flag over the text box.

Jo Conklin Author@joconklin· Oct 19

Ten minutes after watching this week’s Bake Off 😅

A metal bowl of soft white meringue in the process of being mixed to stiffer texture by a teal blue hand mixer.

Jo Conklin Author@joconklin· Sep 24

Not taco salad, but nacho salad! A layer of warm nachos on butter lettuce, topped with a mix of tomato, red onion, bell pepper, and habanero quick pickled with salt and lime. Plus, of course, avocado and sour cream. Lots of salty crunchy sour spicy sweet all going on together. 10/10 will make again!

A green bowl on a white table, filled with a bright mix of green and red veggies and some cheesy corn chips peeking out underneath. A big dollop of sour cream in the center.

Jo Conklin Author@joconklin· Sep 16

When I say I’m excited the new macs dropped this week, this is what I mean.