John Kreitlow

@john

Señor UX Engineer at Microsoft, building web components and design systems. Game collector, vinyl collector, and hobbyist. Also a gay. All opinions (especially the bad ones) are my own.

413 Folgt474 Follower1.428 Posts

Bluesky

gay

Ist das dein Profil?Übernimm es — dann gehört dir john.dirty.social.Profil übernehmen

John Kreitlow@john· 1d

pls approve @davatron5000.bsky.social

John Kreitlow@john· 11d

I'm calling it now, this "Internet" thing is gonna be BIG and I'm getting in on the ground floor

Sean McManus
Web Design
7th Edition
Make your website a success!
In easy steps
Plain English
Easy to follow
Fully illustrated
IN FULL COLOR

John Kreitlow@john· 11d

A Sonic the Hedgehog frozen treat with green gumball eyes

John Kreitlow@john· 16d

Guess who forgot about the lunch they packed last night and brought with them to work

John Kreitlow@john· 23d

Lindsay Nagel telling a market researcher, "Now that's market research you can take to the bank. The money bank."

John Kreitlow@john· 28d

wake up babe a new GPT catchprase just dropped

"I have a falsifiable implementation hypothesis:"

John Kreitlow@john· Jul 13

Gboard's emoji kitchen is simultaneously unhinged and unnecessarily limited

A gboard emoji kitchen abomination of an unlaced ballet shoe with a bone placed inside it.

A skewered motorcycle dripping with cheese held above a molten pot of fondue

A can with a label of a cork-popping champagne bottle

A sparkling abandoned house with giant glistening eyes and a unicorn horn

John Kreitlow@john· Jul 10

Three panel vertical comic. Homer Simpson presents ideas to a boardroom full of animators, writers, and comedians.

Panel 1: Homer reads off a piece of paper. "Whenever Mitch's not reachable,"

Panel 2: "All the other senators should be asking,"

Panel 3: Homer shrugs his shoulders. "Where's Mitch?"

John Kreitlow@john· Jul 7

John Kreitlow@john· Jul 6

Three panel comic strip meme.

Panel one: Mrs. Krabapple's entire class of students is turned to look at Bart. "SAY THE LINE, CLAUDE!"

Panel two: Bart, looking completely dejected and exhausted, says the line. "YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT."

Panel three: everyone in the class except for Bart throws their hands in the air and cheers.

John Kreitlow@john· Jun 29

I got my five-year crystal today

A decorative crystal with blue accents commemorating five years of employment at Microsoft, sitting next to a coffee cup with a "Corporate America" design printed on it. The image of a Sad John sticker is reflected in the crystal.

John Kreitlow@john· Jun 28

Gender is a social construct

A tiny pride cocktail flag and a soccer ball-styled bouncy ball leaning against an empty glass

John Kreitlow@john· Jun 27

The two genders

A yellow special cocktail list titled "Six Arms Pride Cocktails" juxtaposed against a "World Cup Specials" cocktail list

John Kreitlow@john· Jun 25

It's getting to be that kind of day

A screenshot of a PR commit message from me titled "what ok I guess"

John Kreitlow@john· Jun 19

That weird Soviet cartoon that replaced Itchy and Scratchy

John Kreitlow@john· Jun 18

Cellular service is about communication and unity. Community.

John Kreitlow@john· Jun 17

ugh, I go on vacation for ONE week and vscode fucks up all of its semantic syntax highlighting colors for JS again

Lines from a vite config styled with the Dark 2026 default theme in VS Code. Property keys and commas are orange, curly braces, parentheses, and property values are varying shades of purple, yellow, and blue

John Kreitlow@john· Jun 15

It's a Western themed wedding

A mirror selfie of me in an olive suit and chambray shirt, wearing an 80s striped lizard bolo tie, a silver pinky ring with a cowboy hat, and a belt buckle that says META, which of course stands for "Motorized Equipment Training Academy"

John Kreitlow@john· Jun 13

Covering the scaffolding with a tarp to hide their shame from God

Five people sitting at a table with white cloths covering their heads as they consume ortolan buntings, which is a small bird that's captured alive, force fed, drowned in brandy, roasted, and eaten whole.

John Kreitlow@john· Jun 13

Vacation's been going great so far

Me laying in bed in a hotel watching a livestream of the removal of some sociopath's name from the Kennedy Center building

John Kreitlow@john· Jun 11

Surely this is where the exercise to "define the definition of 'Done'" originated. It's also where pointing poker came from

"Done"

Telegraph wires ran to both Stanford's maul and the last spike, to signal the nation when contact was made. He lifted the maul, swung, and missed, delighting the crowd. Durant took the maul and missed also. A telegrapher completed the connection. and the word "Done" flashed out over the wires, sparking nationwide celebrations. The two locomotives moved slowly forward as champagne poured over them.

What was it the Enaines said,
Pilots touching, head to head
Facing on the single track,
Half a world behind each back?
—Bret Harte

After 40 years of planning and anticipation, the first transcontinental railroad was a reality.

John Kreitlow@john· Jun 10

It seems my work life follows me everywhere, even when I'm on vacation

A hand holding a glass filled with ice and cold brew next to a small can of Stumptown Cold Brew "Copilot" coffee

John Kreitlow@john· May 6

John Kreitlow@john· May 1

this is so tacky

npm warn deprecated glob@10.5.0: Old versions of glob are not supported, and contain widely publicized security vulnerabilities, which have been fixed in the current version. Please update. Support for old versions may be purchased (at exorbitant rates) by contacting <their email>

John Kreitlow@john· Apr 30

Queens of the Stone Age @ The Paramount, Seattle WA, 4/29 (I only managed to snap a few shots before the usher tapped on my shoulder - I didn't know it was a no-phone show!)

John Kreitlow@john· Apr 28

Created memory file `url-fabrication.md`

# Do NOT fabricate URLs

- Never guess or construct GitHub URLs from memory. They are almost always wrong.
- The TypeScript DOM lib generator repo is at `microsoft/TypeScript-DOM-lib-generator`, NOT `nicknisi/nicknisi-DOM-lib-generator`.
- If you don't know a URL, say so. Don't retry bad URLs.

John Kreitlow@john· Apr 22

A mug with the words "Corporate America" in a stars-and-stripes design printed on it

John Kreitlow@john· Apr 14

Lyle Lanley pointing at a chalkboard, saying "Mono means 'one,' and repo means 'repo'"

John Kreitlow@john· Apr 9

John Kreitlow@john· Apr 9

There's a slim chance that I could get to meet Tony Hawk today so I'm gonna see if he'll sign my game