Yes I'll do that urgent job immediately. Immediately after I've had a sleep.

Coming soon.....my new sci-fi offering.

Be afraid.....be very afraid.... It's out now. shop.ingramspark.com/b/084?params...

You lucky people. It's ready. It's out now. It's time to run as far away as possible. shop.ingramspark.com/b/084?params...

Soon my pretties.....soon.....

Because I'm such a tart, I'm going to shamelessly push my novel, Cube on ya: Amazon: amzn.eu/d/0b6fr36k Waterstones: www.waterstones.com/book/cube/john-davies/9781837098156 Barnes and Noble: www.barnesandnoble.com/w/cube-john-... Ingram Spark: shop.ingramspark.com/b/084?params...

....my book of jokes. I say jokes. If you like to feel like your brain has been put through a mincer, liquidized, passed through a mangle, baked at 1,000° then thrown under a passing road roller, then yes, they're jokes. You. Have. Been. Warned.

Well you did ask.

Im pretty sure when the pig's this far gone, there's no coming back.

Buried by the mafia.

You've been patient. Wait no longer. Cube. It's now available. Swipe left for the purchase QR code. Do it. Now. You know you want to.

Assemble your fire here.

After which you need a new vase.

All other mathematical operators are kept under the stairs.

My proof copy is here. Once checked over, it'll go live 😁

Honestly, the budget slashing for these Titanic remakes is getting beyond ridiculous.

Here's our current setlist. There are more, but we've dropped some.

A clip from Saddle Music Festival yesterday. We're back in August! Im the idiot in the red baseball cap 😁

I will soon be releasing my debut novel on the world. You have been warned. Colin Gormely, The most boring man ever, realises that some boxes should never be opened...

If you're in the vicinity of The Saddle Inn in Blackpool at 5pm, Friday 22nd May, the Saddle Music Festival kicks off with us. Be there.

My new novel out soon. Some boxes are never meant to be opened.....

This means nothing to me, oh:

No it doesn't.

Yes! You boy! Is he dead yet?

Ground Zero will be opening this music festival at The Saddle Inn in Blackpool, May 22nd. Be there, or I'll come to your house and leave your fridge door open. That'll learn ya.

Casper would like to say he's rather comfy and to call him when it's feeding time.

So sue me.

If you're in, or near, or even on the same planet as Blackpool, see below. And if you don't turn up, I'll come to your house and leave your fridge door open. That'll learn ya.

If you're in Blackpool tonight, Underground Alt are having their opening night and we are honoured to have been asked to play. Get down and show them some love!