Morning ORCs, dog starts another med today, Selegiline, to hopefully slow the dementia & reduce the problem behaviours & anxiety🤞 He's already on Gabapentin for spine degeneration & Metacam, £££. But here is is still enjoying life, he's always best in the mornings. Worth every penny.

Heart stopping moment when I discovered my 14.5yr old #Staffy on his bed this morning, till I heard the familiar snoring...

The meeting with the fosterer was ok, he thinks he'll manage the dog ok. I have concerns, he has 3 dogs & 4 teenagers so it'll be be v different for the dog. But this is not a dog who's ready for euthanasia. We're back in the quarry tonight for our last night together. I'm not sure how I feel.

I'm going to miss this even though sometimes I curse him for keeping me awake at night. We've only had 1 night apart in nearly 13 yrs.

Now snoring very loudly & oblivious to everything. 6/

Happy dog. Happier than he's been for weeks. Seeing him happy makes me feel happy for 1st time in weeks too. 4/

Everything in me is telling me that this is not a dog ready for euthanasia even though he is 14yrs 4 months & on various meds for spine degeneration. Judge for yourself. Today he was truly happy for the first time in weeks. 2/

I've realised the reason I almost never eat chocolate nowadays after a lifetime as a chocoholic, is because it now tastes so awful compared to how it used to taste before palm oil was used. Shame as these used to be such a treat. I won't waste £ on Cadburys again. @cadburyuk.bsky.social

Why are you pursuing this unnecessarily? I did say there were other reasons. I deleted as it's not fair for Shaun. I will continue deleting my posts here as this is counter productive. Please don't continue with this, it's not doing anyone any good.

I've carried these in the van since mid Dec & never needed to use them even during sub zero temps. But tonight, end of March, despite thermometer saying temp is 10C, my hands & feet are so cold from the bitter wind chill of an raw strong wind that I've given in & using them.

Managed to get the dog up on my narrow single bunk in the van for a snuggle with me for the first time in months. He's not too heavy for me to lift now. He wasn't a happy dog this morning, don't know why, but is now snoring contentedly, in his soldier dog fleece coat, with his nose in my crotch 😂

Someone has thoughtfully put a portaloo in the quarry car park 😁 that's very useful & much appreciated 🤣 They're doing footpath repairs but I'm guessing nothing happening today because of the dreadful weather. I might need to leave early in the morning or keep a low profile.

Necessity being the mother of invention (ie resourcefulness), I'm hoping cleaning my face with toilet wet wipes will be ok. They're apparently enriched with aloe vera & are skin pH neutral. If it's good enough for my backside, it'll do for my face 😁 #Vanlife eh? It's not all beaches & sunsets.

Dog is completely buried under his new duvet in his crate. I'd forgotten that when brand new, these are very bulky until they've had a wash. Not sure I can actually close the door of the crate without suffocating him, he'd be effectively swaddled 🤣 Need to rethink this one🙄

Raining for hours & set in for the rest of today & most of tomorrow ☹️ Makes things difficult - staying dry, drying wet gear & dealing with condensation. Dog managed to faceplant in a muddy puddle on his toilet trip🙄 But today will be mostly spent driving to vet & back so at least van will be warm.

My new very practical, quick on/off Aldi footwear (£9.99) No prizes for style but 10/10 for practicality for the nighttime dog toilet trips outside.

Dinner is in the Travelissimo (12v heated lunchbox). Should be done nicely after a 30min drive to one of my regular quiet overnight spots. I've also picked up a few useful bargains at Aldi - fleecy pjs for 99p & a pair of reduced ankle wellies, perfect for pulling on quickly at night.

Here's the old boy happily having a bit of a run in one of his fave places. It's good to see him enjoying himself, this is a rare opportunity for him to be offlead now & only because the beach was deserted because of the very chilly wind & dusk approaching.

Managed to get to the beach for the first time in over a month, dog loved it despite the very chilly wind. He's been on meds 6 days now & there is an improvement but not miraculous. But he's still happily trotting round.

But he's loved sunbathing in the quarry, a rare treat & it helps heal my heart a little to see him have this gentle, peaceful rare freedom. I think I'm already grieving, it's not just the loss of him, he's all I have left of my former life, it's the complete loss of my entire support system.

Its good to be back at my favourite Eatery, the local Truck Stop, having my usual fave meal, roast beef dinner. Much needed as only had 2 hot cross buns, a packet of sandwiches & a pot noodle in the past 2 days. But its gone up from £10.50 to £11.50 ☹️ Inevitable I suppose. But still good value.

@stickmancomms.bsky.social Just seen this on FB & wondering if you do a version of this for ADHD?

So it looks like he'll see another summer altho probably not another winter & it gives me time to prepare myself. So we got to make every day count now. I nearly missed it but here's the dregs of sunset from the van door. 7

Altho I'm right in the middle of town, 5 mins walk from centre & busy main roads, there's quite a lot of trees & green patches & LOTS of birdsong which is lovely. Not seen the dog this content for a VERY long time. Huge pressure off me. This org has been fantastic with me this week.

Leisurely breakfast in PJ's this morning, after slightly better sleep, 5hrs+1hr+1.5hrs. A grey murky day today, about 8C, no sun but dry, hoping for some sun later. Dog is loving the freedom & being able to potter round, safely behind 6ft wire fencing. Takes huge worry off me about his wellbeing.

Blue moon! Through my roof light in the van. It's actually the security lights in the compound I'm staying in, casting quite a pretty blue/purple light. Just me & dog here now by ourselves till 0900 on Monday, on tarmac behind a locked gate with a grassy area & picnic tables. Dog can roam free ❤️

Tonight's #campervan cuisine on 3VegThurs, courtesy of the heated lunchbox, is a Tesco cauli cheese ready meal with some microwave veg (peas, sweet corn, carrots, broccoli), mixed together in a foil tray with extra cheese on top. My body is craving veg. And it's delicious. And no washing up👍

Good to be able to make coffee en plein air this morning, looks set to be another blue sky day. The past 2 days have been glorious, with amazing solar input so I've not had to drive anywhere to recharge van battery. 1

Its been a stunning sunny day & great solar stats: 200wh in total with 43W highest input (btwn noon & 1pm) from 100w panel, approx 2.5A. By far, best solar input this year. Compared to a house solar set up, this is nothing but for a 12v system in a van with a low wattage panel this is pretty good.

While the world is an dystopian nightmare both abroad & in UK, at least today we have blue sky & lovely bright sunshine to dry out a soaking mat from my van & solar power to recharge my mobile. Its the little things which are often the most important when trying to hold everything together.