Julie the Cranky Crone

@juliethecranky

Brooch Warfare, Story Time, and the occasional designer overview and so forth. Writer, knitter, trying-to-be artist. I run on art supplies and yarn. #CRPS late stage. I had a support group I'd love to replicate. Do no harm, take no shit.

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Julie the Cranky Crone@juliethecranky· 26d

Julie the Cranky Crone@juliethecranky· Apr 19

One of the birds is trying to imitate a bass riff. He’s trying to get down low so the windows rattle, but he just doesn’t have the right vocal cords just little tiny things. Hee hee.

Julie the Cranky Crone@juliethecranky· Apr 10

I’ll try to remember. Oh, was it the carved pearls with turquoise or opal inside? That’s Galatea.

Image of a black pearl on a chain, basic jewelry. It’s the pearl that’s the star. It is carved with vertical curves and tear drops showing an interior of probably opal.

Julie the Cranky Crone@juliethecranky· Apr 9

YES! They did a winter collection a while back, and almost always make an animal brooch or two. One of my own faves:

A brooch by Mikimoto, a peacock sits on a curl of white gold and diamonds that resembles a cloud. The body of the bird is a teardrop-shaped black pearl, and the feathers are done with blue and green stones, I’m guessing sapphire and green garnets. There are little dangling green and white briolette stones dangle, for some sparkle.

Julie the Cranky Crone@juliethecranky· Apr 8

The wild communications from another planet jewelry? Is from Wallace Chan.

Image of a fairly traditionally shaped butterfly, on a black background. The wings look like gossamer webs, but are most likely a proprietary ceramic that he invented. The body is an oval of something pink with red stones set in it, in a line, top to bottom.

Julie the Cranky Crone@juliethecranky· Apr 8

Have you seen the Sutton Hoo stuff? Looks the same, they think it might be from the same shop.

An enormous golden buckle with a black background. It parts in the center on a straight vertical line. The other ends of the buckle are half-circles, probably meant to be sewn to a ginormous piece of fabric and worn as a cape.
The outer half-circles are decorated with some kind of flower? The center rectangles are outlined in knotwork animals and filled with a maze motif. Both are filled with slices of red garnet. Guesses are that it was done by children because only they would have the eyesight and manual dexterity.

Julie the Cranky Crone@juliethecranky· Apr 8

Today was the pain clinic and the nice woman who looks like #Zendaya, and I did not tell her she looked fab at her last premiere.

Zendaya on a red carpet, wearing a dress that looks like Zac Posen (💔) but is actually Schiaparelli. It has a mermaid silhouette, strapless and snug down over her hips and then spreading outward in deep pleats. The wow comes from the surface, covered with thousands of silk feathers. Most of the dress is deep black like a corvid. The front and hem are covered in bright, saturated cyan blue. From the hem it fades into the deep black of the rest of the gown.

Julie the Cranky Crone@juliethecranky· Mar 15

Of course! We both lucked out, I'm at my laptop now with a jillion images stored. My iPad is more usual but also has fewer pictures.

Image of a crown, circa 1380, belonged to Anne of Bavaria. Pearls, blue, and pink stones. They identified gemstones by color back then so lord knows what all those stones are. It's reported that the crown can be taken apart for travel.

It is the oldest crown/tiara I know of, that has a color scheme. Most royal crowns had every random stone that looked good shoved into it. For instance the crown in the UK has a giant spinel in it, and a kitchen sink's worth of other stones.

Julie the Cranky Crone@juliethecranky· Mar 15

I've wondered about diamond points as well. I'm told they're very brittle, but that just means shrapnel. Word is, this is all based on work originally done by John Dyer. He's famous enough I know his name and I can count diamond cutters I know of, on one hand.

Image of a needle-cut blue topaz. It is round, octagonal-based, and cut by John Dyer who has his initials/watermark on the image. Calling it a starburst is really inadequate, but English sucks for this kind of stuff.

Julie the Cranky Crone@juliethecranky· Mar 15

Oooh, rose cuts. Those are some of the first facetted cuts invented. There's a woman now, goes by Feng J, invented a new setting method where the edges of flat cuts like rose and double rose, fit into slots in the setting and they are transparent. Really wow.

Image of a jeweled gingko leaf brooch. It is made of diamonds and pink gemstones. The pink stones are cut faceted and flat, like rose cuts. They are put into slots in the 'skeleton' of the leaf, and are transparent, making them super sparkly.

Another brooch by Feng J, this one has a skeleton of green (probably anodized titanium). Held in the wiring are large, flat stones. They are mostly diamonds with some light yellow and light green stones. I'm sure it's magnificent under bright light. Or candle light. Or in the dark.

Julie the Cranky Crone@juliethecranky· Mar 15

Okay, for ruby lasers, the cut you want is... I guess we're gonna call this a pencil cut, 'cause that's what it looks like, an unsharpened round pencil. No triangular facets, so it's a step cut? Except there aren't rectangular facets either. Hm.

Two images side by side, of a ruby rod used to focus light in lasers on the left, and then a view down the length of the ruby. The ruby rod looks about the proportions of a round pencil, with flattened ends on a golden-yellow background. The view down the rod shows a red circle and the shadow of the hand holding it, against a white/beige background.

I suspect some of these are bigger than they look (ha) because duds with tiny inclusions (which give the light something to focus on, which heats up, which is known to cause big and loud messes) are sold to gem cutters who love them.

Julie the Cranky Crone@juliethecranky· Mar 15

Luckily there's a jillion cuts so we can all pick our own. I love the Jubilee cut, invented for Queen Victoria's diamond jubilee, late 1800s.

Imaged of a 12.5 carat diamond, close up to show the cut. It is round, with a slight eight-pointed star in the facets. In motion it is very sparkly. It is not a well known cut.

Julie the Cranky Crone@juliethecranky· Mar 12

#Disability means researching esoteric car hood ornaments, so you can pose like them in your wheel chair. (Especially if the person pushing you is a car nerd.) Alt text is wonky on my phone. It’s a woman with her arms thrown back, with joy or thrill or both.

Image of a Bentley hood ornament, from the side. It is a recreation of one of their old Art Nouveau ornaments, a woman with wings, thrown out and back. It’s either victory or the joy of the drive, I’ve never been able to decide which.

Julie the Cranky Crone@juliethecranky· Mar 8

We put men on the fucking moon, mapped multiple genomes, built cathedrals and palaces and WHY CAN’T WE FIND A BETTER WAY TO GET POTASSIUM INTO THE BODY??!1?

An image of a hand (mine) holding two pills. One is a normal sized capsule, and on the L is a pill at least twice as big side to side, and half again by width.

The ginormous pill is also made of lightly pressed together powder. So it dissolves as soon as as you put it in the mouth. (Ice water helps it nothing works.

Julie the Cranky Crone@juliethecranky· Feb 25

I'm on my laptop tonight, which means access to thousands of jewelry photos of things I like.

Image of a mystery bracelet, all I've got in notes is antique, sapphires, and diamonds. Which really, what else do you really need?

Strings of square-cut sapphires, probably channel set, on each side. In the center is a marquise cut white diamond of maybe eight carats? Surrounded by a ring of cabochon sapphires fitted closely together. Around THAT are white diamonds with arcs through them. Then the sapphire strands, then a clasp I can't quite see that is white diamonds.

Julie the Cranky Crone@juliethecranky· Feb 25

That's what the notes say. Usually I'm accurate. But Cartier did a lot of things with carved stones back in the day.

Image of a pair of earrings, jade on bright yellow background, yikes. The top earring portion that goes in the ear is a round, carved piece. Then two baguette diamonds make up a short chain to attach to larger carved ovals of jade, and at the bottom, a few more diamonds. No idea how old the jade pieces are, but they could go way back.

Image of a bracelet, green stones (emeralds) on a black background. The bracelet is made of fourteen strands of emerald beads, with a buckle at one end and little white diamond bits at each separate strand on the other end. The buckle is squareish, made into a wing design of probably platinum (or white gold) that looks like a wing/feathers set with white diamonds. On that is a rectangular carved emerald with a flower on it. India has carved jewels like this for centuries so while the setting is about a hundred years old, age could bed anything for the emerald rectangle.

Julie the Cranky Crone@juliethecranky· Feb 25

Oh yeah. In the early years, all kinds of hereditarily rich people the world over, brought their stuff to Cartier to have it reset into something new. Not sure this is one of them, but that is a damn big emerald in damn good condition. Sorry for the Alt text description on this one. LOL

Image of a brooch that can double as a buckle, to fasten evening wraps or capes or what have you when you're insanely rich. Made of a central long triangle holding together two triangular pieces, one on each side. The central piece contains an enormous, looks like no flaws, huge emerald. All four corners are set with pave diamonds, and each short side attached to the triangles, are cabochon sapphires, four set together with no sign of settings between them. Each side is a triangle, points to either side. The triangular central parts are full of more sapphire cabochons with no sign of settings, outlined with white diamonds and probably platinum. The whole thing is outlined withy small sapphires, all three pieces. With a few accent diamonds thrown in for the hell of it. Judging from the background, I believe this one lives in a museum and might have been owned by Marjorie Merriweather Post. (She owned a LOT of enormous sapphires. And shopped at Cartier.)

Julie the Cranky Crone@juliethecranky· Feb 25

HA! I've got that one in my faves.

Image of a card case (according to my notes, could also be a cigarette case) LaCloches, early last century. The rectangular case is made from (probably) translucent rock crystal, ends both covered in lapis (for durability, most likely), and diamonds. On the case is some kind of weeping tree in enamel with diamond flowers and/or leaves. Has a likely-fake symbol on the upper right. The whole thing looks to have been made in imitation of Asian designs. Would love to get my hands on this and give it a good looking at, preferably with a magnification lens of some kind.

Julie the Cranky Crone@juliethecranky· Feb 25

Considering they're both literally rocks. And in the 1930s there was no computerized cutting to fall back on. Old Cartier was fucking amazing.

Image of a brooch by Cartier, listed as antique. There is a long hexagon in the center of the brooch, painted with blue-green enamel, and two cabochon green tourmalines on either side of a circular bit of more enamel. The vertical sides are set with square diamonds closely fitted together into lines. The top and bottom are each made of five cabochon tourmalines with square cut diamonds interspersed. The effect makes the enamel piece look more like jade than enamel.

Julie the Cranky Crone@juliethecranky· Feb 25

It's all in the Alt, my lovelies. Trying to get into the habit. #JewelWatch

Image of a Cartier cigarette case, 1930s. Art Deco. Circles of dark blue lapis lazuli, with squares of turquoise and stripes of both at the top and bottom edges. As far as I can tell, there is no attached cigarette lighter. (Some cigarette cases had a lighter built in. Very slick.)

Julie the Cranky Crone@juliethecranky· Feb 15

Fifty years ago, my grandmother would have gotten me one. Hub knew, and got me one.

A Whitman chocolate sampler. In the shape of a heart, red with gold trim and some red roses printed on there for good measure. A low quality knockoff of something like Godiva. In my family (and I’m sure many others) we’d hit the candy sales right after Valentine’s Day, and load up. And Grandma would always get one of these for me.

Julie the Cranky Crone@juliethecranky· Feb 13

I’m getting there too. There are a thing you can stick on your keyboard. It’s meant for long nails, but it helps my not-bendy fingers. Tip-Toes, I think they’re called. You can get Chinese knockoffs from Amazon for about $10, $15?

Image of a really grungy keyboard, sorry! LOL I had a sugar donut yesterday. 🤣 They’re little raisers on each key, making the keys easier to hit with stiff fingers. Meant for long nails, but work for arthritis too.

Julie the Cranky Crone@juliethecranky· Feb 13

In thanks for everyone's patience with the writing, I offer a dress with no other context. Enjoy.

Runway image of a dress by Russian designer Yelena Sereegenko. The bodice is a giant, green, beaded fake dollar bill wrapped around her torso. The ankle-length skirt is made of ruffles composed of little dollar bills made of sheer fabric. There is another bunch of the small dollars sticking out of the bodice like she was a stripper and someone had tucked it there.

I have no idea what the concept was around this dress, why it was made, and I'd love to know if it sold. Probably. Eastern Europe has completely different standards than the west, especially those nouveau riche oligarchs.

Julie the Cranky Crone@juliethecranky· Feb 11

The canning gizzie. You can see the bottle opener, and there’s a little pry piece, and the other end is made for canning lids on jars. However! It works really well to break the seal on most jars. Just pry up a bit until you hear it hiss/pop. Then easy to open!

A probably fifty year old (I’m not young and I swiped it when my mom died; I don’t know if these are even made any more) gizmo for the 1950s kitchen. Imagine an upside down Y. At the skinny end, there is a small tab to pry with, then a bottle opener. On the opposite end, there are little hooks at the end of both branches, and in the center is a small tab. Lay the ends on either side of a lid, put the center tab under the lid, and lift. It breaks the seal on almost every average sized jar lid. You can hear and feel the seal breaking, then it’s easier to open.

Only place I know that might have them is Hartville Hardware, they might be on line.

Julie the Cranky Crone@juliethecranky· Feb 11

A few years back some raccoons wandered through.

Image of my back yard, grass on a hill with three little fuzzy brown critters walking, from left to right in the image.

Julie the Cranky Crone@juliethecranky· Feb 10

Not this soon… we had to put the kitty to sleep last autumn and we’re still raw. Kid especially. An orange cat/sweet potato would be awesome. MIL has one named Sweetie. He’s a good boy other that stealing dangly earrings right off MIL’s ears.

MIL’s cat Sweetie. You’ve seen him before if you hang around here at all. He is a large white and orange cat, very average. But he comes when MIL cries. 💖 Good boy. (FIL died last fall, he had Alzheimer’s so it was a horrible grind for years and now her favorite sister has cancer.) Good kitty. After FIL’s funeral, Kid sat right on the kitchen floor and petted him for maybe half an hour, and he just laid there and purred at her.

Julie the Cranky Crone@juliethecranky· Feb 10

Y’all. I feel a Mikimoto thread coming on.

Image of a brooch by Mikimoto. He is swimming in a slight curl like a backward C. Might be a whale shark? Someone better at whales tell me what type. He’s covered in blue stones, probably sapphire, some diamonds, and a dark stripe that might be onyx. Other smaller fish slide along in the current. I think the first one is a lamprey made of paraiba tourmaline.

Julie the Cranky Crone@juliethecranky· Feb 10

Cool! MIkimoto should hire them. They did an ocean collection a couple years back, this would have fit right in. They had an oarfish necklace. Can’t find the damn thing, have the fish necklace instead?

Image of a
Mikimoto necklace of white pearls, platinum, aquamarines and maybe some small sapphires. The necklace is a school of small fish with pearls for bubbles. There are ribbons of platinum and diamonds coiling around the fish I interpret as ocean currents. And for fun, off center, is a sea turtle of platinum with a probably-aquamarine for a shell. Sucker’s probably over thirty carats.

Julie the Cranky Crone@juliethecranky· Feb 10

There is a highly reflective fabric usually made into scarves. All the camera sees is WHITE SCARF and vague silhouettes.

Image of OhDearGod Paris Hilton I think, wearing a scarf/shawl (it depends on how it’s worn, what we call it, is it a small tree or a shrub?) In the first photo on the L, it’s regular lighting, looks like a store, with a red and white thing wrapped around her neck. She then took an image with flash, on the R. All you can see is patterned bright white and a silhouette in total darkness.

It looks nice, too. It’s not just some weird thing to piss off the paps, it’s a nice thing I’d wear with zero risk of photographers.

Julie the Cranky Crone@juliethecranky· Feb 9

My phone coughed out another picture of Honu. I really want another pet but kid would care for it so I’m letting her decide. And I’m hoping the Cat Distribution System works.