june ash eden, kafka’s favorite failgirl

@kafkaesquities

june / ash. they. terminally delightful. woso’s most famous coyote understander. write stuff about the Reign at @rideofvalkyries.com / @sounderatheart.com. also write fiction and smut if that's your thing, commissions by DM. :)

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Bluesky

Ist das dein Profil?Übernimm es — dann gehört dir kafkaesquities.dirty.social.Profil übernehmen

june ash eden, kafka’s favorite failgirl@kafkaesquities· 16d

this is extremely funny but (a) the Reign's xG should be revised up (it's currently treating Mercado's goal as a bad header from regular play, not as a breakaway that put her alone with the keeper) and (b) it's wildly overestimating San Diego chances like "Byars gently scuffs the ball to Dickey"

expected goals from San Diego Wave vs Seattle Reign at halftime

San Diego with 0 goals on 1.68 expected goals, Seattle with 2 goals on 0.25 expected goals

june ash eden, kafka’s favorite failgirl@kafkaesquities· 19d

Even better when the Swarm Of Buses ™️ doesn’t even actually show up after the extended wait lol

A bus arrival sign indicating three E Line buses should be arriving “now”

june ash eden, kafka’s favorite failgirl@kafkaesquities· 26d

if you don't like this skeet this is literally who you're being mean to

Vetra, a precious white cat with fawn colorpoints and a very pink nose, leans into scritches with her eyes closed

june ash eden, kafka’s favorite failgirl@kafkaesquities· Jul 12

I wound up getting so much use out of this lolll

an incredibly shittily assembled meme. Sam Meza's face is superimposed on top of Yugi Moto, as he raises a card triumphantly. the text reads: "IT'S TIME TO D-D-D-DUEL!"

june ash eden, kafka’s favorite failgirl@kafkaesquities· Jul 12

oh no are we doing the thing again where internet weirdos wax poetic while stanning a fascist regime that started a war of aggression to distract from its disastrous domestic economic and egregious human rights abuses and then lost that war decisively and collapsed

a screenshot showing "Falklands" as the number one trending topic on bsky dot app

june ash eden, kafka’s favorite failgirl@kafkaesquities· Jul 11

going that well, huh

a screenshot showing the #1 trending topic on bsky dot com is "VAR controversy"

june ash eden, kafka’s favorite failgirl@kafkaesquities· Jul 5

being tied 1-1 at the half off of this shot map is, to use a very scientific term, "fucking irritating"

a shot map from the first 45 minutes of NC Courage vs Seattle Reign, showing the Reign with 12 shots, including 5 from high-value positions, and the Courage with 4 shots, with only 1 from a high-value position.

june ash eden, kafka’s favorite failgirl@kafkaesquities· Jun 17

it’s time

a bag of sakura wakoucha from friday afternoon tea

june ash eden, kafka’s favorite failgirl@kafkaesquities· Jun 17

me whenever the fox broadcast starts having disagreements about the rules

Walter White and Jesse Pinkman from breaking bad. Walter incredulously asks, "Dr. Joe, what the fuck are you talking about?"

june ash eden, kafka’s favorite failgirl@kafkaesquities· Jun 12

always relevant

panel 1: Bart Simpson sleeps peacefully in his bed
panel 2: Homer kicks open the bedroom door, shouting: “Bart! I don’t want to alarm you, but the old world is dying and the new world struggles to be born!”
panel 3: Homer, his eyes comically wide, leans in close to whisper: “Now is the time of monsters.”
panel 4: Bart screams

june ash eden, kafka’s favorite failgirl@kafkaesquities· Jun 4

this is the best I've gotten and while my Basketball Knowership is not especially strong I do feel as though this would be an extremely funny team to watch www.82-0.com/share?id=URR...

an 82-0 result tab projecting a 79-3 record with PG: Allen Iverson, SG: Clyde Drexler, SF: Dominique Williams, PF: Ralph Sampson, and C: Wilt Chamberlain.

june ash eden, kafka’s favorite failgirl@kafkaesquities· May 20

The Clash at Demonhead from Scott Pilgrim vs the World. The band poses dramatically as smoke billows and feedback screams from their amplifiers.

june ash eden, kafka’s favorite failgirl@kafkaesquities· May 18

a four panel meme: Homer Simpson kicks down Bart’s door, waking him with a shout of,

“BART! I don’t want to alarm you, but the old world is dying and the new world struggles to be born!”

In the third panel, Homer leans in closer to whisper: “Now is the time of monsters.”

In the final panel, Bart starts screaming.

june ash eden, kafka’s favorite failgirl@kafkaesquities· May 15

this shit sucks so bad, King County Metro three buses racing past all at once and then a twenty minute wait is garbage tier service in a sleepy college town, let alone the busiest transit line in a big city

a photo of a metro service board showing multiple E Line buses — which have just passed — simultaneously arriving “now”. The next arrival on the highest demand and volume transit line in the city is twenty minutes out.

june ash eden, kafka’s favorite failgirl@kafkaesquities· May 11

sometimes football is stupid

a map of Reign shots from their 0-1 loss to the Spirit. the Reign took five shots from the vicinity of the penalty mark, and another six shots from inside the attacking penalty area, but couldn't score.

june ash eden, kafka’s favorite failgirl@kafkaesquities· May 8

espresso blondies 😌

june ash eden, kafka’s favorite failgirl@kafkaesquities· Apr 27

lordt

expected goals: 0.62 Seattle Reign, 0.66 Utah Royals
xG open play: 0.54 Seattle Reign, 0.60 Utah Royals

june ash eden, kafka’s favorite failgirl@kafkaesquities· Apr 24

what I'm saying is

june ash eden, kafka’s favorite failgirl@kafkaesquities· Apr 19

this might be the new stupidest meme I've ever made

june ash eden, kafka’s favorite failgirl@kafkaesquities· Apr 16

a meme screenshot from the simpsons: reporter kent brockman interviews a guest.

"Would you say that 'the moose' is in fact 'loose'?"
"yes I would, Kent."

june ash eden, kafka’s favorite failgirl@kafkaesquities· Apr 9

a still screen from Futurama. Hermes Conrad stands in front of a screen showing The Professor with 50,000 votes and That Guy with 10,000 votes. He happily announces: "Well, if I know anything about which number is bigger than the other number,"

june ash eden, kafka’s favorite failgirl@kafkaesquities· Mar 30

and the hills of the greenest green in...

a fruit tree in full bloom with pale pink blossoms framing a patch of vivid cerulean sky. in the lower right corner, deep green fir trees cross with power lines.

june ash eden, kafka’s favorite failgirl@kafkaesquities· Mar 30

the bluest skies you’ve ever seen are in…

a fruit tree in full bloom with pale pink blossoms, framed by a vivid blue sky

june ash eden, kafka’s favorite failgirl@kafkaesquities· Mar 17

and xG is, itself, a hotly contested field! take this chance. one model rates it 0.05. another rates it 0.44. which is correct? I think 0.44 is probably closer, given the circumstances - no defenders, central position, favored foot, about fifteen meters - but it's not ever *simple* to analyze.