Karl Webster
@karlwebster
Writer, tour guide, Amsterdammer. THE AMSTERDAM GOOD MURDER GUIDE ... a novel about saving humanity by murdering sociopaths Read some for free: 🎉 Coming soon, the sequel: TELL PEOPLE 🎉
Translation for non-Dutch speakers: "They live in the part of England ... called Wales." Oh @nieuws.nos.nl. Sut y gallet ti?
Every time I read one of these, John Kennedy moves up my shitlist. How the fuck do they sleep at night? Like babies of course. No conscience. Piece of cake.
OMFG. It’s not a popular fucking phrase. It’s an episode of major retardation. It’s a harbinger of the apocalypse. What the fuck is going on? "AI can make mistakes" AI can fucking do one. Aaaaaaaaaand relax.
I love this picture of me and my baby sister Gwendolen, who had congenital hypertrichosis, which some people, rather cruelly, called "werewolf syndrome". She used to have werewolf syndrome, but she's alright nowooooooooh. Today we say follicularly challenged. But she still looks like a wookie.
His name was George, but when I named him, I thought he was a lady. I realised he wasn't a lady when he started humping his sister from another mother, Maddie. Dirty George. We had to chop his balls off for that. That learned him. Sweet George.
All this folksy shit makes the grift even more infuriating. I really despise Senator John Kennedy....
A man just cycled by with a large black cat on his shoulders. Why can't all of life be that? I didn't get a photo but I bet someone else has. Yep. This is the fella....
I never used to believe in the Devil. I still don't but this fucker is pretty close.
I am about to go into hospital for a jaw bone graft. I feel as sick as a parrot. But not this parrot. This parrot rules.
At Zaanse Schans this morning. I said, "Tickets please." He said, "Put it on my bill."
So I still have to put up with the delusions of humanity, but I have a shirt-cut to nipping it in the bud now...