Kevin McCaffrey
@kevinmccaff
Comedian. Appeared on Letterman & a bunch of truTV/Vh1 shows you watched accidentally. Podcasts: Sex and the Cidiots, The Bridgerton Bros. Either a little drunk or talking to a dog, sometimes both. linktree.com/kevinmccaffrey for tour dates!
The level to which I won’t see this is unprecedented. Crazy levels of not going. You know how people say “I’m sat” when something makes them perk up with interest? I’m stood
Been this way for a while, but one thing is that anyone who has supported *this* — any of it, all of it — shouldn’t be taken seriously, or respected, ever again, in any of the ways. As friend, family, etc. Crumple ‘em up & toss ‘em. You’ll have so much more time. Until we’re all out of it, at least
Sure but can their country lose a war they say they’re not doing while kidnapping a bunch of parents trying to walk their kids to school? Some of us are just built different 😎
Your defense for murder can’t be “I’m a huge pussy who’s scared all the time” but that is ICE official policy
Ian Eagle on the Bulls / 76ers broadcast just said the sixers were “Edgemaxxing” because of VJ Edgecombe and Tyrese Maxey. And, well
Liberals are always portrayed as the ones who are sensitive about language and labels, unless it’s swastikas and nooses and then conservatives are like “actually???? That’s offensive to call them hate symbols, our preferred term is ‘potentially divisive’”
“Turning onto 34th street now, oh this is ALWAYS a crowd pleaser — playing the score from the Social Network on synth, 8 feet tall with a the head of a squirrel and one single wing it uses to fly in circles around the room, it’s my sleep paralysis demon! And behind him, Kristin Chenoweth”
Making them wear robes before going for costume change on the Dancing With The Stars finale makes it seem like everyone just f’d in a hotel
Shout out to my man Bruno for busting out the Elton John version of the Wedding Singer suit for the DWTS finale
It’s amazing the people who follow this guy all believe in like, “Tom Hanks eats kids” conspiracies when there is no human on God’s green earth who looks, sounds, and talks more like a kid eater than THIS goon
Yeah man, if democrats take risks like listening to their voters, who KNOWS what could happen? Better to just play it down the middle, safe, and continue losing to white supremacist pedos repeatedly
Buddy, if you accept credit card from Chuck E. Cheese, that’s on you. Mice business is cash only
The list of dumbest, most gullible motherfuckers online is the only competition on earth where Riley Gaines would finish higher than 5th
Not to brag but I’ve said everything I wanted to say at work, ever, and I’m so white I’ve had a cop *apologize* to me before
Happy early 2000s to everyone who’s been wrong about everything every time forever!
I don’t know how to have a political discussion with people who have an unbeatable mental illness like this level of thought requires, so please just vote Zohran
The Atlantic thinks you’re a nepo baby, re: the mayor of New York, if your mom literally ever had a job