Tippi Hedren Collider

@linanneblack

Purveyor of whimsical twaddle. My posts: Me: @linanneblack2.bsky.social My dumb store: blandshaming.ca If you are able to help: 🍁 she/elle/henne

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Bluesky

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Tippi Hedren Collider@linanneblack· 4d

Really weird that they can't reason with this one hungry crab.

Screenshot of a thumbnail image from YouTube. The heading across the top of the image reads: "IT'S EATING EVERYTHING" and below that is a photo of a woman holding one crab. The title beneath that reads: "Why Venice Won't Eat the Crab Destroying Its Lagoon"

Tippi Hedren Collider@linanneblack· 4d

I don't have a fancy "up next" station, but I'm still filing a response. 💚

A lingering glass of Las Mulas Sauv Blanc, backlit by three electric pillar candles in a cluster, and an electric fireplace lit in the background. Actual smoke or paraffin would kill me, but it's still very nice in here.

A hand holding an album cover: Roberta Flack "First Take". It is a photograph of Roberta at the piano, with a yellow border. There is some barware visible in the background. (The turntable is just out of the shot on this cabinet.)

Up next album: Monk "Straight, No Chaser"

Tippi Hedren Collider@linanneblack· 19d

Definitely. But also:

Gillian Anderson as Stella Gibson in The Fall. She has been accosted in a hotel restaurant while she eats alone. She says, "Really and truly, you should fuck off" before she takes a sip from a large glass of red wine.

Tippi Hedren Collider@linanneblack· 19d

You've been murdered. Who do you want on the case?

Tippi Hedren Collider@linanneblack· 27d

They opened a day spa and an Airbnb.

Screenshot of the title of a YouTube video. It reads: "We Let Beavers Transform and Old Farm".

Tippi Hedren Collider@linanneblack· Jul 10

Face I'm submitting for my Bluesky verification

Tippi Hedren being attacked by a seagull in The Birds (1962)

Tippi Hedren Collider@linanneblack· Jul 4

Describe yourself as a villain

Tippi Hedren Collider@linanneblack· Jun 28

Agreed.

Ingrid Bergman, dressed beautifully and delivering the deadpan burn to a tacky man: "I didn't know they made champagne in Idaho."

Tippi Hedren Collider@linanneblack· Jun 18

Name a TV show you're positive no one remembers but you. Unless you were also in Canadian French immersion in the 1980s.

L'Ananas, the pineapple who lives at the junkyard, is talking on a touch-tone landline phone. They have stylish shoes.

Tippi Hedren Collider@linanneblack· Jun 15

Why yes I am, hello there

A neglected hydroponic lettuce has bolted into the shape of a larch. (No.1)

Tippi Hedren Collider@linanneblack· May 17

QTP with your favorite Disney princess ⚔️

Snow White laying face down in a clearing in the woods, with dozens of animals surrounding her, all asking WTF.

Tippi Hedren Collider@linanneblack· May 16

post a meme made by you A Sunday Afternoon at the Inauguration, 2021 Mixed meme on internet

On the left is Alan Ruck as Cameron in Ferris Bueller's Day Off. On the right is Bernie Saunders--with N95 mask and arms akimbo, as he appeared at Biden's inauguration--inserted into Georges Seurat's painting "A Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grande Jatte". Each side is divided into four panels, each zooming in by half, until they are staring at each other in tight and existential focus.

Tippi Hedren Collider@linanneblack· Mar 13

Similarly, a J. Draper video on YouTube just alerted me to this masterpiece that threatened me with a good time:

The cover image from Puck magazine in 1899, titled "At the Woman's Club," by Frank A. Nankivell. Two women with what would be 'Gibson Girl' idealised silhouettes and hairstyles are implied to be masculinised by topcoat-style bodices that are unbuttoned, the shoulders extra-wide, and their skirts just below the knee, revealing their patterned tights. Their hats are angular with a single straight feather. One woman is sitting in a chair with her leg crossed widely across the other, and the other woman, leans one cheek upon the café table. The text below reads:

AT THE WOMAN'S CLUB.
"I had a row with my husband after the play, last night."
"What about?"
"He tried to call me down for going out between the acts to see a woman."

Tippi Hedren Collider@linanneblack· Mar 5

Yes, it had occurred to me that that was apt.

A Simpsons show still of Lisa throwing her arms in the air and yelling, "APT!"

Tippi Hedren Collider@linanneblack· Feb 22

"Fine!" I reply, shape-shifting into my true form and scurrying away.

A square image of the snowy ground. The first three footprints, from the bottom right, are human boot prints. They merge, however, into a trail of smaller animal prints that continue off toward the top left.

Tippi Hedren Collider@linanneblack· Jan 21

Finally.

A split-screen meme from the movie Paul (2011). The top panel shows part of the draft comic book called, "Jelva: Alien Queen of the Varvak." The illustration is a green-skinned alien with heavy makeup, dark shaggy hair with a 2010s side part and coloured tips, dorsal spikes, no shirt, and three breasts. The bottom panel is Jeffrey Tambor (in character) saying, "3 tits? Awesome."

Tippi Hedren Collider@linanneblack· Jan 17

Hardly.

"A Lady with a Squirrel and a Starling" by Hans Holbein the Younger. The painting depicts a woman wearing a soft fur three-pointed cap, a small lightweight shawl across her shoulders, and a black dress with a straight bodice softened by a sheer chemise. She is holding a red squirrel, who is eating a nut, and accepting that she is the food source, and a friend. A corvid sits at her shoulder, reminding us that she also has a crow army. The background is the most fantastic deep shade of turquoise green, but terrifying if it's the actual sky, even a Flemish one in the early 1500s.

Tippi Hedren Collider@linanneblack· Jan 17

Petit rappel : you may be French Marshall, but I am still Anglo Admiral. You could try to overstep me, but I caution you that our now-shared squirrel army knows who puts out the sunflower seeds in the mornings.

Three Eastern Grey Squirrels (two black-coated and one grey-coated) are having breakfast at a squirrel-sized bistro on a fence. The scene is from last spring, so there is green grass visible, and willow branches in front and behind. One squirrel has tucked into their meal of cracked sunflower seeds on a tiny bistro table, but the grey squirrel at the table on the other side of the tray feeder is staring right down the barrel of my camera. The third squirrel is above, in the 'rooftop patio,' and sitting beside a heap of seeds on the floor, beside a tiny Muskoka chair. They are also looking at the lady with the camera, who just brought them the seeds.

Tippi Hedren Collider@linanneblack· Jan 1

Santé, friends. Happy new year, and good luck out there. 🥂

A tired white lady in her forties with her hair in a French twist, clear-framed glasses, a gold necklace with an acorn charm, and a black jumpsuit with a lace bodice over a spaghetti-strapped camisole. She is smiling and holding a champagne flute. The background is a wall of books and a light-up globe lamp. The Bonnie-Raitt-style stripe of grey hair has been spreading out into a more uniform pattern of stress highlights. She is wishing you a happy new year.

Tippi Hedren Collider@linanneblack· Dec 25

I'm grateful for you, friends. If you have been holidaying of late, I hope you've been having a lovely time so far—perhaps inclusive of some rest and a preferred indulgence or two, and with only minimal wist. Unless wist is your brand.