lincoln carpenter

@lincolnhello

News writer at PC Gamer. Older stuff at Polygon, Fanbyte, pre-unholy resurrection Waypoint, etc. Artist formerly known as the Hellmouth Sunbeams. Views are my own and bad

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lincoln carpenter@lincolnhello· 25d

god I love wikipedia

wikipedia section heading: "Other industrial uses for mummies"

lincoln carpenter@lincolnhello· 25d

new weekend plans

$"Another record of mellification is found in the Bencao Gangmu (section 52, "Man as medicine") under the entry for munaiyi (木乃伊 "mummy"). It quotes the Yuan and Ming-era scholar Tao Zongyi's c. 1366 Nancun Chuogeng Lu[6] as saying that In the lands of the Arabs there are men 70 or 80 years old who are willing to give their bodies to save others. Such a one takes no more food or drink, only bathing and eating a little honey, till after a month his excreta are nothing but honey; then death ensues. His compatriots place the body to macerate in a stone coffin full of honey, with an inscription giving the year and month of burial. After a hundred years, the seals are removed and the confection so formed used for the treatment of wounds and fractures of the body and limbs—only a small amount taken internally is needed for the cure. Although it is scarce in those parts, the common people call it "mellified man" [miren 蜜人], or, in their foreign speech, "mu-nai-i".[7] The entry comments: "Thus Mr. Thao, but I myself do not know whether the tale is true or not. In any case, I append it for the consideration of the learned."[7]"$

lincoln carpenter@lincolnhello· 25d

I know the 1800s was a big century for just sorta trying some shit, but come on

"In 1890, about 180,000 mummified cats were excavated and shipped from Egypt to England to be processed for use in fertilizer."

lincoln carpenter@lincolnhello· 25d

the legacy of blind box unboxing videos is long and terrible

Excerpt from Wikipedia article on mummies: "During the 19th century, following the discovery of the first tombs and artifacts in Egypt, egyptology became popular in Europe, especially in Victorian England. European aristocrats would occasionally entertain themselves by purchasing mummies, having them unwrapped, and holding observation sessions."

lincoln carpenter@lincolnhello· 26d

disturbing news. there were four (4) incorrect beans in my can of chickpeas

my hand holding 4 invasive beans over a tray of chickpeas

lincoln carpenter@lincolnhello· 28d

jesus christ my heart would've fallen through the floor

"Amano assured me he isn’t ignorant of AI concerns, especially in the United States, where he remarked that use is surprisingly rampant. This prompted me to give him an example of how Ghibli-style art was being used to send political messages that its original creators didn’t endorse, and how Japanese organizations have called on Sam Altman’s OpenAI not to train its models on their artwork. Amano asked me, 'Have you interviewed those creators?' Not sure if his question was posed as a gotcha or as a genuine inquiry, I responded that I had talked to people at Studio Ghibli about their work, but that my questions weren’t specifically relating to AI."

lincoln carpenter@lincolnhello· Jul 9

i can make this work

lincoln carpenter@lincolnhello· Jul 9

feeling great!

"'The Federal Reserve's commitment to price stability and maximum employment is unwavering. As is our resolve to pursue our mandate with rigor. The US economy has changed significantly over the last generation, and never more so than right now,' Warsh said, deploying a sentence that definitely made sense."

lincoln carpenter@lincolnhello· Jul 9

sorry, @dmg04.bsky.social

Bungie comms manager dmg04 reacting to PC Gamer's Destiny 2 poopy pants transmog story with "oh god" on X

lincoln carpenter@lincolnhello· Jul 8

The Newsroom guy saying "we reported the news"

lincoln carpenter@lincolnhello· Jul 7

with resignation,

the post above, with a cursor hovering over the like button

lincoln carpenter@lincolnhello· Jul 7

timeline delivering some relief amid all the bummers

a @404media.co post about an article titled "Scientists Gave Mice Cocaine. This Is What It Did to Their Brains" followed immediately on the timeline by an @im.a.whole.damn.town post of Dale Cooper looking zooted

lincoln carpenter@lincolnhello· Jun 25

As the leaders of Bungie, past and present, we recognize Destiny 2 fell short of expectations these past several years

lincoln carpenter@lincolnhello· Jun 24

going josie packard mode

painted as a part of a wooden wall in Meccha Chameleon

a hunting player failing to notice me on the wall above them in Meccha Chameleon

lincoln carpenter@lincolnhello· Jun 24

hit them with the orb tech

lincoln carpenter@lincolnhello· Jun 23

you've failed your family, ed

lincoln carpenter@lincolnhello· Jun 23

I am a rumor the walls tell themselves

a Meccha Chameleon player painted to look like a brick wall in a sewer

a Meccha Chameleon player hiding beneath a bench, painted to look like a wood wall and checkerboard floor

lincoln carpenter@lincolnhello· Jun 23

me when finally the things inside burger don't fall out

lincoln carpenter@lincolnhello· Jun 23

i'm going scamp mode

hiding against a barrel and some sacks in Meccha Chameleon

lincoln carpenter@lincolnhello· Jun 23

Meccha Chameleon screenshot of a player hiding by standing against giant cakes

Meccha Chameleon screenshot of a player hiding against a gingerbread house

lincoln carpenter@lincolnhello· Jun 23

hiding behind a suit of armor in Meccha Chameleon

lincoln carpenter@lincolnhello· Jun 23

the kind of shit that makes you do the grinch's pervert grin

hiding on the underside of a table in Meccha Chameleon

lincoln carpenter@lincolnhello· Jun 22

"It is, after all, the operator of a platform that many developers characterize as having a monopoly over PC game distribution, through which it demands a 30% commission on game sales—a higher percentage than its competitors. While Valve claims to champion an open market, its higher commission fees aren't without implications for consumers: The sustainability of a game development project is a much different question for developers and publishers when accessing the vast majority of PC gaming customers, who rely on Steam as their primary or exclusive source of games, means losing almost a third of your sales in platform fees. If that percentage was lower, the selection of games on Steam would likely look very different."

lincoln carpenter@lincolnhello· Jun 22

FINALLY!! The things inside burger don't fall out

lincoln carpenter@lincolnhello· Jun 22

look around you. there could be a Lincoln in your room even now

a Meccha Chameleon player sitting amidst Minecraft grass

a Meccha Chameleon player sitting beside some blocks on a Mario Kart map, painted to match the blocks and the wall behind them

lincoln carpenter@lincolnhello· Jun 22

Meccha Chameleon is awakening long-slumbering powers within me

a Meccha Chameleon screenshot with a barely-visible player hidden among Minecraft brickwork

lincoln carpenter@lincolnhello· Jun 19

This is one of the critical bits of Qud's presentation for me. There's an equalizing—and reinforcing—effect in the mutual arcanity of Qud's prose and its simulational mechanics. Qud's language is as inscrutable as its physics; as a result, they share the same gravity when navigating its world.

"Question: Qud is one of the few games where players are encouraged to read a lot. What do you think games as a medium can do with prose that the novel can’t, and where does the novel still beat you?

Answer: I think about this a lot. Something I notice in our work is how powerful a pairing the expressive, flowery prose is with the ontologically “harder” cogs of the game’s mechanics. We do a lot of grognardy simulation: water can be frozen, every object has a melting point, every wall can be dug out into a tunnel, etc. There’s something about the posture this kind of fine-grained simulation puts you into as a player that makes a baroquely poetic passage hit harder.

Those weighty physics lend a kind of grainy authenticity to the worldbuilding; they are effective at convincing you this isn’t merely a story at an author’s whim, but an actual (read: aesthetically nonfictional) place governed by a lattice of rules and subject to the complex dynamics that make real-world stories compelling. And so the prose has a different texture than if I’d just handed it to you as a collection of short fiction."

lincoln carpenter@lincolnhello· Jun 18

im gaming

an old man declaring "that duck is the reason I stopped coming to church" in About Fishing

lincoln carpenter@lincolnhello· Jun 18

lincoln carpenter@lincolnhello· Jun 18

this is videogames, to me