Weirdo In Residence (@long-sigh-studios) · DIRTY

Weirdo In Residence

@long-sigh-studios

Bad at many things. Theoretical degree in art. (any pronouns)

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Weirdo In Residence@long-sigh-studios· 27d

There is another option.

An older man in a red sleeveless shirt, gold chain, bushy eyebrows and a shock of white hair. He is wearing a modified white surgical mask. He has cut a hole in the center in which to insert a cigarette. On the side he has fashioned a chimney, replete with individually drawn bricks and a wind guard, out of green and brown construction paper. It’s like a reverse snorkel. A small puff of smoke can be seen escaping from the end of the chimney.

I found this on Twitter during, unsurprisingly, Covid lockdown. I hope this man is living his best life, this photo has brought me a great deal of joy of the years.

Weirdo In Residence@long-sigh-studios· 28d

Ultra…max? Oh great another nepo-kid.

Ultraman confronting some sort of lobster kaiju on the field of Dodger’s Stadium.

Weirdo In Residence@long-sigh-studios· 29d

I prefer the old ways. Also, this map is assuredly a cognitohazard.

Tweet from Suzette Smith:

Question: “but how will I know I am in the Portland Pearl district?”

Answer: “At Flanders and 10th there’s a pretty big “Fuck the Pearl” tag that may find helpful.”

Weirdo In Residence@long-sigh-studios· 29d

This is my United States of Whatever

A yellowed analogue clock with all the numbers jumbled up at the bottom, and “who cares” placed wonkily at the top.

Weirdo In Residence@long-sigh-studios· 29d

For too long we have felt the tyranny of the early bird’s yoke. At last, it is our time in the light.

A single panel of an SMBC comic. Across the top it reads: “At some point the late bird shows up.”
Below that, a blue feathered, and disheveled bird smokes a cigarette in the grass, eyes squinting. They think: “Christ, the sun is bright today.”

Weirdo In Residence@long-sigh-studios· Jul 15

Strange they don’t mention he’s also a published author.

The cover of Charlie Robinson’s book “Hybrid Hysteria.” It features a gull winged car driving over a simple cgi grid. It is fleeing from a giant hand with painted nails emerging from a dark background, with lightning flashing. Beneath the car is, what I think is a priest’s collar and shoulders with an empty neck hole, but it might just be a metal funnel. I don’t know. It’s difficult to describe how shitty this art is. Blurbs read: “some electric vehicles are sterilizing their drivers,” and “a novel of corporate intrigue both holy and diabolical.”

Part of the book’s lengthy amazon summary:
Cloud in by a young university colleague, a priest/scientist suspects that an automobile company is using its lithium batteries to selectively sterilize liberals. A secret international group, aided by his mob-boss uncle, helps him uncover the truth. He is an amalgam of “the shoes of the fisherman,” and “James Bond.”

Weirdo In Residence@long-sigh-studios· Jul 14

Uh huh

RIP to everyone killed by the gos for their hubris, but I’m different. And better. Maybe even better than the gods.

Weirdo In Residence@long-sigh-studios· Jul 11

Because that is *exactly* who this guy is.

Jake Lang in the worst fit you’ve ever imagined. Featuring: some camo leggings tucked into black hiking boots, replete with an ankle monitor. Some sort of patterned light olive button up, which he has tucked in. A plate carrier is overtop with various patches, and he has some sort of short, sides shaved, pompadour going on.

He’s in the midst of attempting to kick down some sort of ice sculpture. He does not look cool doing so. His arms are up, feet together, eyes squinted in an awkward sort of prance.

Weirdo In Residence@long-sigh-studios· Jul 10

II is difficult to focus on my yard work, with the amount of shenanigans I can hear this little one getting up to behind me.

A tiny little bunny sniffing at an ivy leaf. Its eyes are closed, and its upper half in caught in a sunbeam.

Weirdo In Residence@long-sigh-studios· Jul 9

That’s right, true friends visit in person.

The withered husk of Mr. House, still clinging to life by the power of technology, inside his hyperbaric chamber. He has all sorts of tubes, and implants attached to him. From the game Fallout: New Vegas.

Weirdo In Residence@long-sigh-studios· Jul 8

This series of self portraits by William Utermohlen, as his Alzheimer’s progressively worsened.

A series of 8 self portraits, from left to right:

1. The first is adeptly done, and realistic. It appears to be charcoal and conte on gessoed paper.

2. The second is a painting, and shows a decline. The figure is blocky, but the face is still, more or less, properly proportioned and aligned, and there is a depth to the shading.

3. The third is rougher still. The head is misshapen, the brow juts out, the ears are enlarged, the eyes are misaligned, and the nose possess only a single nostril.

4. The forth portrait, oddly, is much better than the last two. The artist has rendered themselves well in what looks to be golden rod pastel. Their head and eyes are turned toward the viewer. And they are framed by a window, or some other square like slats. It’s certainly much simpler than their first portrait, but it’s my current favorite of the series.

5. The fifth appears to be in the same location as the one previous, as the slats are still present in some form. This is much rougher than the last the alignment and proportions are off, and the face appears twisted. Yet greater attention has been paid toward getting a more realistic skin tone and shadows. This is imo the most passionate, and hardest to look at of the series. The lines are bold and intense.

6. in this the alignment is better, but the face is entirely in shadow, and the neck and shoulder are ill defined. The eyes are entirely dark, like those of a skull, the mouth is a single black slash with deep wrinkles beside it.

7. This is an indistinguishable white oval in a field of black. There is a large brown shape in the middle, which might be an attempt at a nose, and several dark splotches, two of which might be eyes, the rest are unknown. You would not be able tell that this is a portrait if you didn’t know.

8. The last attempt is colorless and nearly featureless besides two clear nostrils on a misshapen nose, and a wisp of a comb over. It is brutal in its simplicity.

Weirdo In Residence@long-sigh-studios· Jul 8

For reference, this is what Second Life looked like in its opening year of 2003.

Weirdo In Residence@long-sigh-studios· Jul 6

You say that…

A silhouetted shot of the headcrab from the movie The Thing. It is an upside down decapitated head with crab like legs to carry it skittering down the hall. It sees with two large eyestalks.

Weirdo In Residence@long-sigh-studios· Jul 6

Alas, everyone was caught completely unaware!

An SS officer knitting a totenkopf scarf, in the widely known Mitchell and Webb skit: “Are we the baddies?”

Weirdo In Residence@long-sigh-studios· Jul 5

A person holding a chain link fence is rendered down to just their skeleton by a nuclear explosion. From Terminator 2.

Weirdo In Residence@long-sigh-studios· Jul 4

My phone helpfully reminded me of these lovely photos of July 4th, 2020.

Two people standing near the Washington Monument during the fireworks. They are fully silhouetted against the sky and display, and their arms are up middle fingers are stretched into the air. A lovely pink firework blossoms in the sky.

The same two people, still flicking off America, during a different part of the display. pink and white fireworks exploding above them

Now the fireworks are more red and white, with sparkling white exploding from the center.

Weirdo In Residence@long-sigh-studios· Jul 2

The cover art for “BattleTanx 64.” It features a man commanding an M1 Abrams tank through a destroyed New York City. A mushroom cloud can be seen in the background.

I’ll just let Wikipedia fill you in on the plot: “In 2001, a virus has killed 99% of the female population of Earth. Various countries fight over each other's quarantine zones, and end up engaging in nuclear war, destroying much of civilization. The few remaining women (called Queenlords) are held by gangs who have taken over small pieces of the world. The main character, Griffin Spade, had his fiancée Madison taken away from Queens, New York by the U.S. government. Griffin becomes separated from his fiancée, and New York City is destroyed. He claims a tank for his own and sets out to cross the United States to find her, battling gangs as he reaches his goal.”

Weirdo In Residence@long-sigh-studios· Jul 1

Bea, an anthropomorphic goth crocodile from the game Night in the Woods, is edited into a still from the ending of Barton Fink. She screams: “I will show you the life of the mind!” as an inferno rages behind her.

Weirdo In Residence@long-sigh-studios· Jun 30

An edit of Saturn Devouring His Son by Francisco Goya, where instead of holding his partially eaten son, Saturn holds a coffee cup that says “don’t talk to me until I’ve had my son.”

Weirdo In Residence@long-sigh-studios· Jun 30

Me, tears streaming down my face, sobbing, as I stare at the stars: “it’s just so beautiful.”

The medieval peasant I went back in time to give a bag of Doritos to, concerned: “what terrible and powerful sorcerers they must have in your age, to be able to veil the vault of heaven itself from view, as you say.”

Me, sniffling: “I didn’t realize, I can’t, it’s so much, I, I…are the chips good, at least?”

Medieval peasant,trying to make me feel better: “they’re magical, strange traveler.”

Weirdo In Residence@long-sigh-studios· Jun 28

If you can catch a cloud break, the sky is fucking spectacular.

Numerous layers of clouds sit intermixed with each other. Where the sun peaks through, they are brilliant white, in the shadows dark gray. Scattered pieces of gray blue sky peak through, and at the far horizon the clouds are a warm light tan, silhouetting a distant hill.

Weirdo In Residence@long-sigh-studios· Jun 28

We’ve come a long way (derogatory)

A photo of the White City of the Chicago World’s Fair in 1893. It is a long oval, with a large basin of water in the center. A giant statue on a plinth is on the side nearest to the viewer, and distantly a large fountain can be made out. Around the water are broad walkways leading to dozens of temporary buildings done up in exquisitely detailed neoclassical style.

Weirdo In Residence@long-sigh-studios· Jun 24

I thought his outfit was a bit much in the beginning, but it’s downright tasteful in comparison. That’s what he wears to court.

The homeowner of “Poseidon’s Fortress.” He is wearing a cutoff black jean jacket, with no shirt, and a prominent cord and stone cross necklace. You can tell just looking at him that he practices some sort “energy martial art.”

Weirdo In Residence@long-sigh-studios· Jun 21

Maybe they were just down there already?

The Lady of the Lake holding aloft the sword Excalibur for King Arthur, who approaches by boat.

Weirdo In Residence@long-sigh-studios· Jun 20

Oh, a box bed! Box beds are super cool.

A bed inside a decorated wooden box. They were historically popular for trapping your body heat as you slept, and providing privacy in what was often a single room house.

Another example of a box bed, this one is decorated with dark stained wood paneling.

Weirdo In Residence@long-sigh-studios· Jun 20

A joke captcha instructing users to select all squares with traffic lights. The photo used is a digitally altered image meant to show how things might look to someone who has Alzheimers disease, in which no object can be clearly deduced. And rendering the captcha impossible.

Weirdo In Residence@long-sigh-studios· Jun 18

Frog and Toad are both going ham on a jar of cookies, however, the text has been edited to read: “TURN DOWN FOR WHAT!” cried Toad, as he popped another molly.

Weirdo In Residence@long-sigh-studios· Jun 17

I’m usually pretty good at reading expressions, but wtf is going on here? This looks like a “last image” before someone goes missing.

A zoomed in view of Bovino’s face. He’s wearing an approximation of a smile, but his seem crushingly pained.

Weirdo In Residence@long-sigh-studios· Jun 16

The Gadsden, or “don’t tread on me flag,” except that particular phase has been replaced by the text: “what’s exif data?”

Weirdo In Residence@long-sigh-studios· Jun 16

No bodies, only Sphere.

From an old Reddit post: “If you blended all 7.88 billion people on Earth into a fine goo (density of a human = 985 kg/m3, average human body mass = 62 kg), you would end up with a sphere of human goo just under 1 km wide. I made a visualization of how that would look like in the middle of Central Park in NYC.”

The visualization is a giant sphere of pink and red meat, that looks a bit like a ball of shiny hamburger meat: