Lothar Hex
@lotharhex
Misanthropic. He/Him. I love dark humour, robots, & over-analysing cartoons. Married to @rayematthews.bsky.social, Eat the rich. ⬛️⬜️🟪🟫 Lothar Hex on twitter.
James: Makes the messes that Henry cleans up. Rabid dog of the North Western Railway. The one engine you don't want to see at your platform. The first person he killed was ny running over their legs. He did it just to watch the life drain from their eyes. The rest? Food for the beast.
Gordon: Older, more mature brother to the celebrity engine, Flying Scotsman. Famous in his own right as thge face of Sodor and is purposely kept that way. He knows if he asks too many questions, he'll get answers. And he's seen just enough to know he doesn't want them. Just keep smiling Gordon.
Henry: Cordial, hardworking if neurotic engine. Secretly Sir Toppham Hatt's "fixer." Knows where the bodies are. Hell he took them there. Rarely gets his wheels dirty himself, but when he does there's never any evidence afterwards.
Diesel: Stops at any bridge or hidden area of Sodor where people, mainly the islands hidden homeless, go to enjoy each other carnally and just watches. The dirtier the better. He loves the smell and is particularly fond of scat play.
Thomas: Shipped France during WW1, saw the effects of trench warfare. Often transported casualties or artillery and mustard gas attacks to hospital. Smiles to keep the voice of those that died in his carriages quiet.
Look I'm sure these will be great in animation but every single one of these 2026 Thomas faces looks like they have either committed or witnessed some sort of crime.
Because Wonders of Sodor is based on Train Sim World 6, and they focus more on having the right number of rivets in the boiler over non-terrifying human models, The Fat Controller looks like a homunculus that has killed a man in front of you, in full confidence that you ain't saying shit to anyone.
I bought my first "dad" game and I'm enjoying it leagues more than the new Doom The Dark Ages DLC because that is my life now. THRILL as you reverse into trucks! Then pull away with the trucks! MARVEL as you stop Exactly in the right spot at the station! Cheaper than model trains though.
Hey look! I got a toy that wasn't a train with a face on it! It's a humanoid with no face! Shite photo aside he's probably the best version of Siege Shockers overall depending on your yolerance/love of greebling. Definite "default character model" vibes.
That said every single one of these toys looks like they've committed some dark, heinous crimes and will do it again any second now. Though Classic Gordon and Henry look like they've suppressed the monster inside for a few years now.
WARNING. Viewing the attached image can have the following side effects - Rediscovering a love for Thomas the Tank Engine (TTTE). - Watching TTTE Youtubers. - Buying TTTE merch - Learning Henry used the N word in the 60's. - Knowledge of "All Engines Go." - Self-inflicted shotgun to the head.
Man, they're really taking some liberties with the character designs for the new Thomas the Tank Engine 2026 reboot.
Train mode is beautiful. Far better than Siege, but it does feel like it was designed to be the best mode to the detriment of the others. I mean yes tggat happens with triple changers but usually the bot mode is one of the best parts. I like him but that's definitely cos of the train nerd in me.
Shuttle mode is decent, I like it more than the Siege one, this is mainly diebto the pointer nose, brighter colours and very nice con symbol.
Astrotrain arrived, and he's not as bad as people say. His transformation is fun poses well and is made solidly. Pity his bot mode looks like a paving stone grew horribly proportioned limbs and then got hit by a car.
In others news, trees are made of wood, the sky is blue, Santa isn't real and people die when they are killed.
Reacquainting myself with the Legacy pretenders today. Two of the best core class with one of the worst Deluxes, which got made into one of the best (Quake).
Bonus crocodile mode. Which I would not be suprised if this was intentional for a Skullcruncher down the line.
Cyberworld Spinewave is fun if very basic, the continuing trend of no eldows aside, he's fun to flip back and foirth and the Energon armour is OK, though looks far better in Spino mode.
"We're all the same guy! Literally. Or not. Or did we used to be? Or was that a lie? Multiversal singularities give us a headache."
Look motherfucker once had a power that had him blast rainbows from his fingers that created tiny clones. Don't tell me he doesn't talk to birds.