The nicest man in rock strikes again: a friend went to interview Johnny Marr and mentioned what a fan I was, so he sent him back with this.

Like the noble Limousin

Akusmi at Rough Trade East last night. New album here - share.google/wZMVzszHdcjb...

Well maybe they should have done a better job of holding on to the Pontic Steppe in the third century

Random guy on my feed having a normal one

As does this! Or maybe Indiana Jones I dunno

Or 2024's winner of the "update most closely resembling the opening of a story by JL Borges" award

A disappointing year in general, with nothing in the league of this splendidly terse and punchy entry from 2022

A lack of sufficiently arcane boasts this year (accession to the rank of Comendador in the Order of Prince Henry the Navigator doesn't quite cut it), but this one had old-school charm -

Perinaise is alright, it's just sriracha mayo for South Africans. I guess the echo of "perineum" is a bit unfortunate, but as abominations go to it has nothing on

If Baron Harkonnen was fried eggs

After revising Macbeth all day, daughter thought she heard me mutter "The sad people always ride single file." Yes, she thought, they're each trapped in their individual sadness, unable to reach out to one another - great image. Was then disappointed to learn I'd actually muttered "sand people."

Charles Gray would have made a good John Ashbery

Feeling a bit preverted today

Post a non-religious picture you think of as holy

Always with the umbrellas. Love the de Chirico styling in this one.

Peter Guillam's tactics won't work on Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor

Butes of Athens, the bee-master

Telegraph letters page on 26 June 2016: SIR – Now that we are leaving the EU, will I be able to buy soluble mosskill for my lawns? This has disappeared over the past few months, presumably at the behest of Eurocrats. It works much better than granules. Robin Nonhebel Swanage, Dorset

Can report that murmuring "Sweet dreams, my love, my little baby bird" in one's partner's ear in an RFK Jr. voice doesn't go over as well as Olivia Nuzzi would have us believe.

RIP writer/player/producer on the greatest pop music of all time for Stax, white guy who played mostly with black musicians at time when white radio wouldn't play them, and greatest of all Telecasters players.

Was going to apply for this £180k tutoring gig, but I am lacking in royal household experience, and suspect I would fail the "must have been raised in a socially appropriate background" test too.

People say Tolstoy didn't have a sense of humour but come on

Just tested, no complaints.

Good to see that even in hyper-radicalised Telegraph, "Belgians being funny foreigners" still outweighs "we are desperately offended by any criticism of imperialism."

Read this quite recently and thought, well this sure wouldn't get such a nice mainstream edition now