Matt Salomone (@matthematics) · DIRTY

Matt Salomone

@matthematics

Crusty old dean. Mathematics enjoyer. Views mine. ¹Best known for other work. 📍 Cape Cod, MA

2.236 Folgt3.863 Follower11.620 Posts

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Matt Salomone@matthematics· 28d

Is Evelyn Normielib gendered? More specifically, how/would her male counterpart differ? 🤔

(D–MI) Evelyn Normielib
[Sketch of a kindly-looking smiling woman wearing square spectacles and a cozy cardigan. An "In This House We Believe..." sign is behind her.]
- Retired teacher
- Voted for Buttegieg in 2020 because he reminds her of her grandson
- "The blood of the tyrant shall water our fields"

Matt Salomone@matthematics· 29d

Lindsey? Lindsey's sister? Lindsey? Lindsey's sister?

Strong Bad stares at a green-LCD monitor showing an email reading "Strong Bad, My sister and me think you are so cool. Do you have a girlfriend? There is two of us. Yours, Ali." He gasps "Oh! There's two of them!"

Matt Salomone@matthematics· 29d

i can see the ig reels already

Anime meme: a young guy gestures at a butterfly ("Wearing her bf's oversized hoodie because omg it's so cold in here") and naively asks "Is this 'boymoding'?"

Matt Salomone@matthematics· Jul 11

Anytime a piece of technology is slow to respond, and always in that thick Teutonic accent:

In "The Simpsons" we see in cutaway two flamboyant Vegas performers Gunter and Ernst recalling how they rescued their performing white tiger Anastasia from the so-called savagery of the jungle: driving up on her, already asleep, and shouting "Hey tiger! Wake up!" before shooting her with a tranquilizer dart in the rear haunches.

Matt Salomone@matthematics· Jul 11

Imagine the outcry among Charismatic Christian preachers if a Democrat were in the White House

Newsman Kent Brockman, a "SPECIAL BULLETIN" chyron behind him, breathlessly leans into the camera showing "It's in Revelations, people!"

Matt Salomone@matthematics· Jul 11

Homer Simpson cradles a steel trash can lovingly, saying "You will be called 'Binface'."

Matt Salomone@matthematics· Jul 11

MAGA men and women are from two different planets. Both planets have guns, though.

Georgia Republican gubernatorial candidate Kandiss Taylor appears on a bus-sized billboard reading "I'm the ONE You've Been Waiting For! JESUS - GUNS - BABIES"

Matt Salomone@matthematics· Jul 11

This is the greatest infographic since the Gothard Umbrellas

A diagram of three redundantly-placed umbrellas, one under the other

CHRIST
PROTECT FAMILY
HUSBAND
PROVIDE FOR FAMILY
WIFE
CHILDREN MANAGERS OF HOME

Matt Salomone@matthematics· Jul 10

“Yeah but that student is gonna have a $5M-per-year Danube Institute podcast contract when they graduate so… POSITIVE ROI BABYYY” trib.al/wk7F710

POLITICS
West Virginia spent $3M to create university program to fight 'woke ideology' One student is enrolled

EDUCATION
NOT
INDOCTRINATION

Matt Salomone@matthematics· Jul 10

Quote from sect in schism:

“What are you gonna do, schism me?”

Matt Salomone@matthematics· Jul 10

@hausofdecline.bsky.social said it best. This kid could make a killing selling Black Rifle Laura Palmers

Haus of Decline comic
Panel 1: Kid sits lonely at a lemonade stand with sign “Lemonade 50¢ / cup”. “Man, I’m tired of not selling any lemonade,” the kid says.
Panel 2: Kid adds to his sign, which now reads “ANTI-WOKE LEMONADE 50¢ / cup”
Panel 3: A throng of middle-aged men with identical sunglasses, polos, and gray goatees appear out of nowhere. “Young man, I would like to support your business,” says one. “So would I,” several agree.
Panel 4: Wads of dollars are being waved in front of the kid’s face. “This feels wrong,” he says, “but the money kinda helps.”

Matt Salomone@matthematics· Jul 10

George Costanza shows up to work the day after having dramatically quit his job. “What are you doing here?” A coworker confronts him. “What?” He asks naively. “I work here.” “I thought you quit,” the coworker replies. “What quit?” He shrugs. “Who quit?”

Matt Salomone@matthematics· Jul 9

All my apes, tithed

Ministry Brands®
Stocks & Crypto
Expand how your community gives
Hi friend,
Right now, some of your donors want to give to your church. But if you're not set up for stocks and crypto, that gift has nowhere to go.

Matt Salomone@matthematics· Jul 6

Homer Simpson (as Graham Platner) protests to a furious Marge "I swear to you! I never thought you'd find out!"

Matt Salomone@matthematics· Jul 6

Unpacking my new office (needs more whiteboard)

OP holding a blue College of Graduate Studies coffee mug in a somewhat-bare-looking office with blue walls

Matt Salomone@matthematics· Jul 6

"But They™ do. And they're the ones doing the communism!"

Jerry Seinfeld looks skeptically at Cosmo Kramer saying "You don't even know what communism is."

Matt Salomone@matthematics· Jul 4

Billy Madison (Adam Sandler) covers for a small child who’s peed his pants by wetting his own pants and telling the gathered children “Everyone my age pees their pants, it’s the coolest!”

Matt Salomone@matthematics· Jun 29

This is a “some personal news” post that, like most such posts, is actually professional news. Day 1 as interim dean for BSU’s College of Graduate Studies, the most masters-full place to be!

OP giving a thumbs-up outside a house signed “College of Graduate Studies”

Matt Salomone@matthematics· Jun 28

That’ll be REAL productive

Superintendent Chalmers, negotiating a tense standoff with Principal Skinner with many Springfielders behind him, is invited by Skinner to “let the town decide.” Exasperated, Chalmers asks “Who do you want to talk to first? The e-catgirl? Or the chud with rats in his room who doesn’t shower?”

Matt Salomone@matthematics· Jun 27

In “The Simpsons” we see a tv commercial featuring a young blond woman with loud eyeshadow and lipstick, making bedroom eyes at a nerdy guy whose gas she’s pumping for him at a remote desert service station. A silver cross pendant dangles in front of her dramatically exposed low-cut décolleté. “The Church,” a voiceover says. “We’ve made some changes.”

Matt Salomone@matthematics· Jun 25

Smug peanut-shaped guy wearing a thinking cap gestures saying “this fucking sucks actually” at a rad skateboarding hot-dog correctly labeled “literal coolest thing ever”

Matt Salomone@matthematics· Jun 25

I can see why this is so popular • via Simpsons Bortposting

World Cup chyron reading SUI - CAN, and image of Homer Simpson appearing on tabloid show Rock Bottom lasciviously drooling over feminist grad student Ashley Grant’s sweet can

Matt Salomone@matthematics· Jun 21

Advertise your Bluesky account with a Simpsons meme

Martin Prince plays an arcade game adaptation of “My Dinner With Andre”. We see his hand on a joystick with directions labeled “trenchant insight”, “bon mot”, and “‘tell me more’”.

Matt Salomone@matthematics· Jun 20

Matt Salomone@matthematics· Jun 10

The Anti-Anti Effect is one of the only things holding the Right together

Matt Bors comic panel: a young woman looking at her phone says “My gawd these Trump people are racist.” A young man wearing a MAGA hat pops in from out of frame to scold her saying “That attitude is what’s PUSHING me to be racist!”

Matt Salomone@matthematics· Jun 8

Seymour Skinner grins and holds a champagne flute aloft saying "Yes!"

Matt Salomone@matthematics· Jun 6

Gonna tell my kids this was the original Chevy Bolt

General Motors EV1

Matt Salomone@matthematics· Jun 6

They can still eat crackers if someone cuts them up and smushes them into a fine paste

The Simpsons’ old cat lady, an elderly woman with disheveled gray hair and a pink dressing gown, chases Lisa off her front lawn carrying an armload of house cats, one of which she has thrown at Lisa

Matt Salomone@matthematics· Jun 6

@tessasalomone.bsky.social Come collect your boy, he’s in my inbox again

Email header from Democrats.org with the subject line “Let us be clear, Tessa”

Matt Salomone@matthematics· Jun 3

Stupid cheap weatherstripping!

Marge Simpson: “There’s nothing to be afraid of…”

Marge Simpson: “…except that fog that turns people inside out.”