MattTS (@mattts) · DIRTY

MattTS

@mattts

Webby award winner

515 Folgt703 Follower2.022 Posts

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MattTS@mattts· 17d

White guy with brown hair, brown eyes and a moustache wearing a black shirt. On his forehead is black text with a white border that says "then die"

MattTS@mattts· 19d

🎵 You're face to face With the man who sold the world 🎵

A photo of Mark Zuckerberg against a black background. He loosk very pale and has is wearing a grey t-shirt. He has blue/green-grey eyes with nothing behind them. His hair is short and not particularly styled.

MattTS@mattts· 28d

Something like this?

A screenshot from the Simpsons episode where there's a boy band creating subliminal propaganda to join the navy. It shows 3 women in bikinis on a beach in front of trees, a tent, a red beach buggy, surf board and a volley ball net. At the bottom it says "yvan eht nioj" (join the navy backward)

MattTS@mattts· 28d

Umurangi Generation is a fun game

A screenshot of graffiti in the game Umurangi Generation. It shows a blue image showing a centrist with "never fear the centrist is here (unfortunately)". The centrist is shown as wearing a cap with scales that have "logic" and "reason" on either side of the scales.

MattTS@mattts· Jul 12

Pov: you just posted criticising austerity

A ton of people wearing bald caps with their hands in the air. Some are wearing sunglasses

MattTS@mattts· Jul 10

Me sitting on the augmented reality toilet and forgetting it's not real

Zucke holding his pervert goggles for specs offenders. Too right has some people trying them bottom left has presumably a patent diagram of someone squatting in front of a mirror wearing them and being given workout advice.

MattTS@mattts· Jul 5

A fucktonne of huge fireworks exploding over Washington DC in bright orange

MattTS@mattts· Jul 2

If everywhere you go smells like shit, maybe it's time to check your shoes?

Officially claiming refugee status from Twitter. Had to go, it's a cesspit.

MattTS@mattts· Jun 30

The only SKS worth talking about

An image of 2 SKS semi automatic carbines with open furniture. The top is facing right and the bottom is facing left. The grip is part of the stock and it has a short magazine.

MattTS@mattts· Jun 25

The train dog has nothing on the glorious Japanese shinkansen-inu

A light coloured shiba-inu dog with its mouth open and panting crudely superimposed on the front of a blue Japanese bullet train

MattTS@mattts· Jun 22

10 year Keir

Dark mode tweet from The Independent

Keir Starmer has resigned

15:30 27 Jun 16

MattTS@mattts· Jun 16

Getting my door smashed in at 5am for filling in what I think should be done about water companies

This email has been sent to you on behalf of Ofwat, the economic regulator of the water sector in England and Wales. You have been selected at random from a list of Sutton & East Surrey Water customers.

BMG Research has been commissioned by Ofwat to help them to understand what people generally think about their water and sewerage services.

We just wanted to let you know that there is still time for you to complete the survey.

Even if you have not contacted your water company recently, we are still interested in your views and you do not need to be responsilbe for paying the water bill.

The survey will take around 5 minutes to complete.

Please click on the following link or paste the link into your web browser to be taken directly to the survey.

MattTS@mattts· Jun 13

Bit of a downgrade from an Aston Martin

MattTS@mattts· Jun 1

A sign on the Bilbao metro that implies you shouldn't try to pry the doors open but looks like the goatse shock image being banned

MattTS@mattts· May 28

Art.

A picture of a model guillotine branded with Chanel. It's on a white background

MattTS@mattts· May 23

Might this be the worst job advert ever on LinkedIn? 🤮

The process
This isn't a hire, it's a mirrage. Before either of us commits, we'll run a couple of hackathons together on Claude Code, grab dinner, and see if we can both tolerate each other under pressure for 8 hours a day

Next steps
If this is a problem you want to spend the next 10 years on, let's talk

MattTS@mattts· May 17

Pick a Bond from the photos you have already on your phone "Ball, James Ball"

Guardian article by James Ball. There is a picture of him on the right. He's white with brown hair and wearing glasses and a blue shirt.

I won't cheer II Wonga fails. I was grateful it was there for me

James Ball

Don't paint the most famous payday lender as a villain, it performed a valuable service in a troubled society

Thu 30 Aug 2018 09.38 BST

MattTS@mattts· May 13

Our future PM #Skeeting4Streeting

A picture of Wes Streeting next to a bloke with a bald spot. Streeting is wearing a navy suit with a red tie and light blue shirt. He's smiling awkardly. Streeting is a white man with brown hair that is styled up a bit

MattTS@mattts· May 11

Eating a meal? A succulent Chinese meal?

An old white man being manhandled by several cops behind a red car. It's Jack Karlson. The democracy manifest guy

MattTS@mattts· May 11

Looks like the Skyr will outlast Sir Keir

MattTS@mattts· May 11

Brother...?

I have been watching sky news and there is going to be a right wing match on this Saturday and the government are going to block right wing leader's from other countries from coming here. The have just shown Keith starmer

MattTS@mattts· May 11

Betteridge's law...

A picture of Starmer wearing a suit and holding some files while walking past a fence with a window behind it

Chris Mason: Can Starmer's speech calm an anxious party and save his job?

MattTS@mattts· May 11

Starmer's new reset \m/

Keir Starmer, an old white man with grey hair and glasses with a boxy head poorly edited to look like he's wearing a black Judas Priest British Steel t-shirt and jeans. The t-shirt has a hand holding a razor blade

MattTS@mattts· May 8

🎵 I used to rule the world Seas would rise when I gave the word Now in the morning, I sleep alone Sweep the streets I used to own 🎵

Keir Starmer with hand to his face looking down against a red background with the white text "change" to the right of him. He's a middle aged white man with grey hair and glasses. He's wearing a white shirt with a tie.

MattTS@mattts· May 6

Getting his scarf ready

A fake half and half scarf with the left saying Celtic 1888 in green and the right saying Rangers in blue. The sides don't match and was probably made in paint

MattTS@mattts· May 6

The major knows what's up

A screenshot from Ghost in the Shell Stand Alone Complex season 2 episode 9. It shows the Major sitting on the floor next to a desk with a cable coming out of her neck and connected to the guy behind her who is standing at the desk. The top of the screen shows yellow text "Incursion line still undetermined. Security line 40% eliminated. Attack bariers 28% eliminated" at the bottom it has the dialogue in white "If you let A.I.s handle everything, even cats and mice will outsmart you"

MattTS@mattts· May 5

New reaction image just dropped

A screen capture from Ghost in the Shell Stand Alone Complex season 2 episode 3. 2 AI walking tanks or "think-tanks" are talking to each other and one says "Are these people what they call perverts?". The tanks are spider like with sensors and lights on them. They're painted a blue colour.

MattTS@mattts· May 5

You wot mate?

A picture of a great white shark underwater with its mouth open and teeth on display. It's fucking massive.

MattTS@mattts· Apr 30

Quote with a photo you've taken of some public art

A Palestine mural in Iceland. It has a white background and says PALESTINA with a Palestinian flag and in the left it has a red heart with a woman clutching a child sized body bag with "cease fire now" written around the heart. On the right is a dove with presumably an olive branch in its mouth lying dead on its back with a flag saying "your silence kills" on it

MattTS@mattts· Apr 29

A screen capture of the lurpak mascot holding a trumpet. He appears to be a man made out of butter wearing a coat with tails, also made of butter. He's lying down on a white plate with a jug behind him