Tom Wallach@mdwallach· 29d Yall Batman makes a surprisingly good pizza.
Tom Wallach@mdwallach· Jul 7 I think this is a bit about Y chromosomes but I gotta be honest Haley Steven’s looks a shit ton more like Mike rogers this is insane on so many levels
Tom Wallach@mdwallach· Jul 3 My sons power cannot be denied
Tom Wallach@mdwallach· Jun 27 The kids have gone too far this time.
Tom Wallach@mdwallach· Jun 11 I dunno man. Worked out ok for me?
Tom Wallach@mdwallach· May 30 Successful use of filo dough please clap
Tom Wallach@mdwallach· May 28 Corporate America about to start looking like this:
Tom Wallach@mdwallach· May 16 Guys I made too big a sandwich for lunch and I’m still overly full.
Tom Wallach@mdwallach· May 16 Kid just lost his first tooth. What even is time.
Tom Wallach@mdwallach· May 13 When the ramps are giving chimichurri vibes you grill the cheese and listen to Cain Culto.
Fuck ICE Free Palestine.
Tom Wallach@mdwallach· May 10 Just gonna say I had my kid in basically this outfit last weekend. He looked dope.
Tom Wallach@mdwallach· May 6 Gonna use this to flex on other parents in the kindergarten group chat.
Tom Wallach@mdwallach· May 6 Daddy cannot compete with this
Tom Wallach@mdwallach· May 6 Glad I asked him before the Barca Science museum tho that shit was lit.
Tom Wallach@mdwallach· May 6 Admittedly this is too scary
Tom Wallach@mdwallach· May 6 A straight up dinosaur museum (admittedly it was *too scary*).
Tom Wallach@mdwallach· May 6 Let’s be real I beat out: carcassone (* I LOVE CASTLES*)
Tom Wallach@mdwallach· Apr 26 Such utter disdain for these whiny shmucks and their sensitive feelings.
These ghouls have tortured and killed millions and you are upset your fun party with them was ruined by a loud noise.
Get some fucking insight you whiny Nazi lovers.
Tom Wallach@mdwallach· Apr 19 I regret not taking one but here’s my ramp and dandelion green eggs with sturgeon this morning.
Tom Wallach@mdwallach· Apr 16 Apparently I carry mick jagger recessives
