mimi smartypants (@mimismartypants) · DIRTY

mimi smartypants

@mimismartypants

online diary sometimes mimismartypants.com she/her. Chicago. an okay person.

382 Folgt1.972 Follower2.632 Posts

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mimi smartypants@mimismartypants· 25d

The mailbox out in front of, you guessed it, Top Feet

Mailbox in front of an acupressure office with "TOP FEET" in hardware store stick on letters

mimi smartypants@mimismartypants· Jul 1

shut the fuck up RB

mimi smartypants@mimismartypants· Jun 16

Time for one of these

Fire flames in a metal backyard firepit

mimi smartypants@mimismartypants· Jun 10

Oh baby I'll give you a lot more than

Part of slushpuppie cup. Text inside a stylized water drop lewdly and bulbously says "2 FLAVOR SQUIRTS"

mimi smartypants@mimismartypants· Jun 6

Hey screwworm, eat Trump, please. He's mostly human flesh

mimi smartypants@mimismartypants· Jun 3

Sammy Davis Junior pointing at you. Meme style text says Awwww shit son!! Fuckin' 5-star comment!!

mimi smartypants@mimismartypants· May 8

More NYT recipe comment gems. Let us all pity Maria's husband, who has no ethnicity

mimi smartypants@mimismartypants· May 5

literally two vast and trunkless legs of stone, a sphinx-like statue in the foreground. Text says "It's Two Vast And Trunkless Legs Of Stone Tuesday!"

mimi smartypants@mimismartypants· May 5

Post something random or you'll have the exact same May as you will if you don't post anything.

cartoon rendering of a figure with blond hair and downcast eyes in center of frame. Various cartoon hands are pointing at her accusingly. Text says "DON'T BE BULLIED INTO THINKING"

mimi smartypants@mimismartypants· Apr 22

seriously, get rid of your crap

misidentified Netflix descriptor screen: text says "tidying up with Marie Kondo" and photo is a person with an assault rifle in the desert

mimi smartypants@mimismartypants· Apr 17

Gretchen in the NYT recipe comment section, whew

mimi smartypants@mimismartypants· Apr 11

Always getting nap-trapped

Stripey brown cat sleepy head

mimi smartypants@mimismartypants· Apr 3

Found on the camera roll and a whole vibe:

The hazard sign with the gears crushing the hand. Text says "DO IT. PERVERT."

mimi smartypants@mimismartypants· Feb 25

Outstanding recipe comment, thank you Robert

mimi smartypants@mimismartypants· Feb 9

mimi smartypants@mimismartypants· Feb 5

I bet this movie poster designer resents Zendaya for not having a last name

mimi smartypants@mimismartypants· Feb 5

A black amp on a dark stage: pink masking tape on the face of it says "TRANSPHOBES EAT SHIT AND DIE ALONE" in black marker

mimi smartypants@mimismartypants· Jan 14

Hear me out: David Costabile to star in a Schubert biopic

Oil painting of Franz Schubert, who is a clean-shaven white male with curly brown hair and sideburns, wearing a high neck blue jacket, vest, tie, and cravat. Attributed to Anton Depauly, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons

mimi smartypants@mimismartypants· Dec 30

Dear Ghost of Jim Thompson: when you are mean to me this is who you're being mean to

Female child with brown hair and a red bow, wearing a patterned smock dress with a red bow, posing for a photo in front of a brown wood apartment door and standing on brown shag carpet.

mimi smartypants@mimismartypants· Dec 24

Do yourself a favor and drink tea from Sri Lanka

A circular pile of black tea leaves.

mimi smartypants@mimismartypants· Nov 20

This is how we sext over here

Text bubble says "I'd like to Grover all over your Cleveland until you have two nonconsecutive terms"

mimi smartypants@mimismartypants· Nov 18

I absolutely love the difference in color and size between the female black widow spider and the male. An ordinary nondescript dude with a big-titty goth girlfriend, good for him

Two spiders, one is small and brownish (the male black widow) and one is huge and bulbous and black and sexxxy (the female)

mimi smartypants@mimismartypants· Oct 30

How could you let this happen? Go back to nurse school

Pulp painting of a white-uniformed nurse pulling back the sheets of a patient's bed to reveal A SPOOKY SKELETON

mimi smartypants@mimismartypants· Oct 28

just guys being dudes

a black cat and a stripey brown cat chilling on a gray quilt together

mimi smartypants@mimismartypants· Oct 25

Something very determined has chewed a hole in my trash can and I guess I need to figure out how to request another one from the city

"Property of City of Chicago" black plastic alley bin with hole chewed in the lid

mimi smartypants@mimismartypants· Oct 21

tfw when you're trapped in Tuesday (bottom image; my arms are fine)

A metal door featuring two danger triangles, warning of amputation risk (stick figure with arm off, arm falling into a turning cylinder) and a "confined space hazard" (stick guy trapped within the danger triangle itself, very existential and self-referential when you think about it)

mimi smartypants@mimismartypants· Oct 17

When I go to the in-person meeting and someone tells me I look nice today

Paul Shaffer (David Letterman bandleader, if you're too young to know), a bald Canadian in sunglasses and wearing a purple shirt, speaking into a microphone, caption says "thank you very much I feel rotten."

mimi smartypants@mimismartypants· Oct 15

I saw this Ernie and Bert on an Istanbul street last year.

A 3D Ernie and Bert projecting out from a building wall in Istanbul, Turkiye. Lots of graffiti below.

mimi smartypants@mimismartypants· Oct 1

Happy October, btw

old-timey computer graphic depicting a skeleton with an upraised sword. The text says "Skeleton Attacks You!!" and the user interface option is a button that says "Okay." Because it is okay.

mimi smartypants@mimismartypants· Sep 23

yeah