Miss Lilly

@misslillynola

live from the 504 drink slinger, book reader

433 Folgt321 Follower681 Posts

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Miss Lilly@misslillynola· 23d

the group chat is deeply unserious...

Group chat thread at 4am:

Me: So I just got home from work and there was an Enfamil Wonder Box with my name on it sitting on my front steps...

Me: It has a free tub of formula and a bunch of coupons for formula

Me: I do not know how I got on their mailing list...

Friend: Further more proves the fact that you were a single black mother in a former life 😂

Me: BROTHER, I was not expecting that response 😭😭😭

Me: I was just real crying watching the Ryan Clark shit and now I'm multi-level sad laughing crying

Friend #2: This is fuckin hilarious

Miss Lilly@misslillynola· Jul 15

If you go to Phil Neville's Wikipedia page, the photo posted before the description of his time as manager of Inter Miami is blurrier than my memories of my 21st birthday and the photos I took that night on my hot pink Motorola Razr. The shade... 👩🏼‍🍳💋

A very blurry photo of Phil Neville in a black football kit and shorts, standing on the sideline with his left hand on his hip, seemingly on the verge of his chest being chopped in half by a piece of metal protruding from the supporter stands gate cos even inanimate objects become homicidal in his presence.

Miss Lilly@misslillynola· Jul 7

Been a hater...

My post on Twitter from November 23, 2019, in all caps

"VAR IS FUCKING TRASH"

Miss Lilly@misslillynola· Jun 20

I bought this jacket 24 hours ago...

Miss Lilly@misslillynola· Jun 14

Screenshot of a group chat convo

Friend: I said exactly, great question

Me: now that there's gonna be at least a game 5, ima need Pop to personally invite Oak to San Antonio

Miss Lilly@misslillynola· May 28

Here's a cuter photo of the lovely couple that Bae just took.

Two gulf coast toads atop each other surrounded by small bright green leaves.

Miss Lilly@misslillynola· May 28

I was so excited to see a toad at 4am yesterday that I took this photo, not realizing that it's actually two toads mating until I just showed it to my partner. There will be more toad babies!

Two gulf coast toads perched atop each other mating in a pond.

Miss Lilly@misslillynola· Feb 10

The King Cake Baby content none of y'all asked for...

The New Orleans Pelicans King Cake Baby with their hand on a small child's head, posing to take a photo.

Miss Lilly@misslillynola· Feb 10

Happy Carnival y'all

Sports creepiest mascot, The New Orleans Pelicans King Cake Baby, head slightly cocked and staring maniacally into your soul from across the Smoothie King Center as a large red Pelicans banner unfurls over a section of fans.

Miss Lilly@misslillynola· Oct 19

My favorite Boosie related wedding story is October 2019, the last wedding I attended in the before times, and the photographer caught this moment of me, my best friend and the groom right before Boosie's verse on "Wipe Me Down" dropped

Miss Lilly@misslillynola· Oct 13

Miss Lilly@misslillynola· Sep 13

Is this a ratio record, on here?

Post from Sally Jenkins about Charlie Kirk:

Original post: What disagreements, exactly, was he bridging via his work and words?

Sally Jenkins post: He argued with civility. It's a start.

Circled in yellow: 4 reposts, 1.1K quotes

Miss Lilly@misslillynola· Sep 9

Stove God Cooks came out for F.I.C.O. and I thought I was taking video of him singing the hook but instead I just took a blurry photo of Push and only caught Stove God's shoulder 😭

Pusha T holding his microphone to the crowd for the hook of F.I.C.O with half of Stove God Cook's body in the far right of the photo cos I failed at taking a video

Miss Lilly@misslillynola· Aug 24

Imagine being proud of writing about abusing your girlfriend and comparing it to Puffy beats...

"I yanked Stacey by the arm and dragged her kicking and screaming out of the building, her friends staring in amazement. We marched through the parking lot and into the woods that surrounded a park down the street from the school. As soon as we were alone and before she could say a word, I brought the back of my hand down across the side of her cheek in one swift motion that would land her in the nurse's office. The sound reverberated off the trees with a sickening thwack. It sounded like an isolated high-hat from one of Puffy's drum machines. I threw the canister of notes at her head and lunged for her feet, trying to rip off the sneakers I had bought for her for Christmas that year. She grabbed my shoulder for balance and our eyes met. Her mascara ran, dissolving the steel veneer on her face as she whispered, "Thomas, Thomas, please stop."

Miss Lilly@misslillynola· Jul 24

My courtyard is full of pondhawks and their presence always brings me joy. Caught this beauty resting by my front door...

Close up of an eastern pondhawk dragonfly with bright green and black eyes

Miss Lilly@misslillynola· Jul 16

I legit saved this screenshot of @karenattiah.bsky.social's post about the "AI quantum physics" bullshit convo in its own separate photo album on my phone so I can have it easily accessible in the future. Cos as a former strip club bartender, the analogy hit SO hard.

Post from Karen Attiah @karenattiah.bsky.social

There's something about the way men use LLMs that feel like those men at the strip club who believe that the dancers like them for their personality and wit.

They just want a toy that makes them feel good.

Miss Lilly@misslillynola· Jul 11

Can't wait to give the vinyl a spin...

Shipping confirmation email for Let God Sort Em Out vinyl

Miss Lilly@misslillynola· Jun 21

Miss Lilly@misslillynola· May 8

Your Pope name is: Last thing you ate + number of letters in your first name. POPE ZAMBOS IIV

Bag of chile limón flavored Zambos plantain chips

Miss Lilly@misslillynola· Apr 11

hey friend

Louisiana tree frog perched in the leaves of an Easter Lily

Miss Lilly@misslillynola· Mar 30

I've been refreshing the SoS website furiously and these are the most recent results, so VERY cautiously optimistic

Miss Lilly@misslillynola· Feb 13

I and all of my siblings have Pixels and since Google Maps caved too, my brother-in-law sent this to our group chat. Maybe Apple has a similar feature? Prolly small potatoes type action but getting inundated by user complaints could make them rethink?

1. Google Gulf of Mexico.
2. "Gulf of America" will be at the head of Google's answer
3. Click on the three little dots to the right of "Gulf of America"
4. Select "Send Feedback"
5. Click on "Gulf Of America" text
6. Select "Inaccurate content"
7. Select "Incorrect" and type in whatever text you want such as "The correct name of this body of water is "Gulf of Mexico". The more reports to Google the merrier.

Miss Lilly@misslillynola· Jan 21

The weather folks said significant accumulation but I wasn't really prepared for what I woke up to. It's fucking snowing for REAL in New Orleans.

3-4 inches of snow covering everything in a photo of a courtyard in New Orleans

Miss Lilly@misslillynola· Dec 19

I love that the morning after explaining the Ken O'Brien curse and telling a bunch of my patrons last night that Woody Johnson is in fact a worse owner than they can imagine, The Athletic drops some of these gems.

A few weeks later, Douglas and his Broncos counterpart, George Paton, were deep in negotiations for a trade that would have sent Jeudy to the Jets and given future Hall of Fame quarterback Aaron Rodgers another potential playmaker. The Broncos felt a deal was near. Then, abruptly, it all fell apart. In Denver’s executive offices, they couldn’t believe the reason why.

Douglas told the Broncos that Johnson didn’t want to make the trade because the owner felt Jeudy’s player rating in “Madden NFL,” the popular video game, wasn’t high enough, according to multiple league sources. The Broncos ultimately traded the receiver to the Cleveland Browns. Last Sunday, Jeudy crossed the 1,000-yard receiving mark for the first time in his career.

When Johnson left for the U.K. in 2017, his sons, Brick and Jack, were 11 and 9, respectively. When he returned, they were teenagers. Last year, Johnson started including his sons in some meetings at the team facility. For some Jets employees, the sons’ increasing involvement clarified their father’s propensity for sharing posts from X and articles from various outlets, including a blog called “Jets X-Factor,” with the organization’s top decision-makers.

“When we’re discussing things, you’ll hear Woody cite something that Brick or Jack read online that’s being weighed equally against whatever opinion someone else in the department has,” said one Jets executive.

Miss Lilly@misslillynola· Dec 11

Ah yes, cos abstinence-only education is so successful in preventing teen pregnancy.

Miss Lilly@misslillynola· Dec 9

If you're wondering what NYPD's projected 2025 budget is, from the NYC City Council's website, for all this VERY SERIOUS police work. Meanwhile, Adams out here saying they not gonna release The Adjustor's name so as not to tip him off that...there's a well-publicized nationwide manhunt to find him.

Police Department Overview page from the NYC Report on the Fiscal 2025 Preliminary Plan
and the Fiscal 2024 Preliminary Mayor’s
Management Report for the
Police Department.

"The New York Police Department’s (NYPD or the Department) stated mission is to enhance the quality of life in New York City by working in partnership with the community to enforce the law, preserve peace, and protect the people. 😂😂 The NYPD is comprised of personnel assigned to 77 patrol precincts, 12 Transit Districts serving 472 stations, nine police service areas and other investigative and
specialized units.

Police Department Fiscal 2025 Budget Snapshot:

Fiscal Year 2025 Budget: $5.8 Billion ($50.3 Million less than FY24 Adopted Budget. $544.9 Million less than FY24 Current Budget as of March 2024)
Fiscal Year 2025 Headcount: 48,844 (13,843 civilian, 35,001 uniform)
Fiscal Year 2025 Overtime Budget: $563.7 Million (FY24 Preliminary Overtime Budget, $788.7 Million)

Miss Lilly@misslillynola· Dec 8

New Orleans media so petty lol

WWL TV push notification with the headline "Carr damaged in Saints win"

Miss Lilly@misslillynola· Dec 7

New Orleans people are very unserious

Image the alleged UnitedHealth CEO assassin photoshopped with the head of Scrim, the twice-escaped New Orleans fugitive street dog with the caption "They'll never catch him!"

Miss Lilly@misslillynola· Dec 5

Oh, cool. Cool, cool.

For police departments to get ahold of such high-powered weaponry, each one needs permission from the ATF. Even though it has been the law for more than three decades, the ATF only started vetting every machine gun application for the first time in January 2023 to confirm that a legitimate government agency was making the request.

According to interviews with half a dozen longtime ATF officials who worked directly on these cases, the bureau typically does not assess the appropriateness of the weapons for a department or track where they end up.

"There's no audits," said former Supervisory Special Agent Tim Graden, who worked at the ATF for more than two decades before retiring in 2022. "There was no second-guessing whatsoever. They weren't really — I don't want to use the word concerned, but I can't think of a better one."

Miss Lilly@misslillynola· Nov 10

Y'all, Fox 8 notifications are always so fucking petty or so unserious, I swear #neworleans