git ur face in there for a spa day

I’m like an avocado. I’m only pleasant for a short period of time and it’s up to you to figure out when that is

Apparently this isn’t what the Council meant by “dress appropriately.” Buncha bantha fodder

Bearded. Barefoot. Unbothered.

I had a thought. It wandered off. Anyway… here’s my dirty pillows.

If you turn my purr into a growl, match my energy or get bicep locked

My wardrobe has two categories: homeless or gay fit

ima bearded booted boss waiting for snacks and a foot rub

Fuck all these… ‘Wake up early with a session of yoga & running so I can set myself up for success’ Bitch I sleep in for the same reason.

Serving you a ripe, thick, dirty fairytale lit through a dirty mirror in the back of a nasty gay bar ✨wya

Somewhere a twink just sensed a disturbance in the Force

Eye contact has started more trouble than tequila

all the right places are textured or pink. I don’t make the rules

I’m 99% angel, but dat 1% is on its way to leave boot prints & emotional damage

belly comes with a purr, eye contact, and a Spotify playlist

Stop petting my peeves and just pet me

chokers out- Daddies love ’em. Good boys fear ’em and u wanna worship ‘em

Some y’all want abs. I want heft.

I don’t want a six pack, I want six tacos

I don’t really rise & shine. I just caffeinate & hope for the best

“Get in there, you big hairy oaf, I don’t care what you smell” - Han Solo #starwarsday #maythe4thbewithyou

Packing pounds because a lightweight cuddle is just disrespectful

looking down at my good boy

I ain’t moisturized for u ungrateful hoes

built for cuddles not cardio

crawl up