Nameless Cynic

@namelesscynic

If Trump keeps taking bribes from other countries, we should change his title to "Prostitute of the United States." And that way, he could still be called POTUS.

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Nameless Cynic@namelesscynic· 17d

Random fact of the day:

According to several scientific studies, monkeys with smaller testicles will scream louder to compensate.

(This fact is framed by pictures of several varieties of howler monkey and Pete Hegseth, all screaming.)

Nameless Cynic@namelesscynic· 18d

This is the cart of the lady in front of me at the grocery store, buying a Taylor Farms salad kit. I guess she has nothing left to live for.

Nameless Cynic@namelesscynic· 20d

If you're wondering why the American casualty list seems so strangely short...

The Pentagon removed the names of 4 servicemembers who died in Jordan from their official list of casualties. They explain that this is because "their deaths occurred after President Trump declared a cease-fire in the war in April."

(From a story in the New York Times)

Nameless Cynic@namelesscynic· 21d

It's obvious why Pete Hegseth wants Iran's oil: Brylcreem doesn't make enough hair product in a year to keep up with those greying waves.

A picture of Pete Hegseth, staring blankly into the future like a baby in his high chair with no clue what he's looking at.

Nameless Cynic@namelesscynic· 24d

In case you're wondering what's going on with Iran:

It's a simple formula:

1. Bomb Iran
2. Oil prices rise
3. Sell oil stocks
4. Talk of imminent piece
5. Oil price drops
6. Buy oil stocks
7. Return to beginning

Nameless Cynic@namelesscynic· 25d

Before you ask, the bottom part was supposed to slide forward. Then they repaved the walk. Now it works exactly as well as it looks.

Nameless Cynic@namelesscynic· 25d

Karma

A European pizza menu: they all cost about 20€, except, down at the bottom:

Pizza Hawaii 99,95€ (Cultural Damage has a cost...)
Tomato, mozzarella, ham, pineapple and absolute dishonour...

Nameless Cynic@namelesscynic· Jul 12

Lindsey Graham, in a car, racing past Mitch McConnell on the way to hell.

Nameless Cynic@namelesscynic· Jul 11

Nameless Cynic@namelesscynic· Jul 8

It's a valid question.

A post from Xitter:
New AP polling of Jewish Americans—
Mamdani (+5): 44% Favorable; 39% Unfavorable
Netanyahu (-27): 32% Favorable; 59% Unfavorable
Trump (-42): 29% Favorable; 71% Unfavorable

Where's all the breathless wall-to-wall coverage on Netanyahu & Trump making Jewish people feel unsafe?

Nameless Cynic@namelesscynic· Jul 7

Why do Republicans shriek so loudly about dead people voting, when they've got a dead man holding a Senate seat open in Kentucky?

Nameless Cynic@namelesscynic· Jul 3

Today is somebody's last day with all ten fingers.

A picture of Smokey Bear, with the caption:
"Remember kids, don't play with fireworks. Let the adults who've been drinking all day set them off."

Nameless Cynic@namelesscynic· Jul 2

Just a thought...

Man in a red hat at the Pearly Gates.
St. Peter: "Says here you went to church your whole life and loudly proclaimed yourself a Christian, but worshipped rich people, hated the downtrodden, and cheered for cruelty. Like what the fuck, man?"

Nameless Cynic@namelesscynic· Jun 28

It's a special edition passport (probably a "premium," with a higher price), specifically for sex tourists going to places like Thailand, where the pedo crowd goes to get their dance cards filled without risking all that bad publicity.