Phil Haack

@phil

Software guy turned lawyer; please don't hold it against me. 💼: Patents, copyrights, trademarks, trade secrets, and "internet law" @neuralgraffiti@sfba.social on the Fediverse. Lawyer, but (probably) not yours.

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Phil Haack@phil· 8d

Happy “Ben’s My Friend” day to all who celebrate! 🎉 youtu.be/U9RfKKfNT0Q?... open.spotify.com/track/1Ubwpy...

Screenshot of Spotify lyrics information, reading:
"Ben's My Friend
Sun Kil Moon
| woke up this morning, August, 3rd
It's been a pretty slow and uneventful summer"

Phil Haack@phil· Jul 7

I’m curious about this scam format. Is the idea that, if you were already scammed, you’d be a good target?

Phil Haack@phil· May 26

I have a Nyx too!

Phil Haack@phil· May 16

New supergroup.

Picture of the song playing in my car: Carry On, by “Crosby/Stills/Nas…”

A fake vintage-style album cover featuring three musicians seated outdoors. The title "CROSBY, STILLS and NAS" and "ECHOES OF TOMORROW" is prominently displayed. One member holds an acoustic guitar. Nas looks pretty content.

Phil Haack@phil· May 1

Post your warning sign.

A yellow warning sign indicating a dangerous environment, labeled "Cognitohazardous Entities." It states that “objects beyond the sign pose physical, cognitive, memetic, or existential threat to your person.” It then reads: “THERE IS NOTHING BEYOND THIS SIGN WORTH RISKING YOUR LIFE FOR”

Phil Haack@phil· Apr 25

This makes me regret certain past purchases.

Reddit post titled: “Kobo and Bookshop.org - Delayed again,” the beginning of which reads: The Kobo FAQ has been updated and now the integration with Bookshop dot org says
"sometime in the future" instead of "sometime in 2026." This is the second pushback, it was already pushed back once from 2025.

Phil Haack@phil· Apr 18

When the cover looks like this, you know it's going to be banger.

A dark green hardcover book titled 'A Mathematical Introduction to Logic' by Herbert B. Enderton, with the title and author's name printed in gold lettering on the front cover.

Phil Haack@phil· Apr 9

WWII propaganda poster showing a soldier checking out a hottie. Large text shouts: “DON’T EVEN TRY SHE MAY BE A SPY.”

Phil Haack@phil· Mar 18

Good headings, though.

“Respondent’s Request that the Presiding Judge Sanction Himself”

Phil Haack@phil· Mar 13

Never run with --dangerously-skip-westlaw

Screenshot reading: "As always, please verify the [REDACTED] citations against current Westlaw before sending — I'm confident in the general framework but you know my limitations on pinpoint accuracy.

Phil Haack@phil· Mar 10

I feel you.

Phil Haack@phil· Feb 3

I had to check, and… ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

A portion of the patent file history displaying “NON-PATENT DOCUMENTS@ that have been cited.

“20 years of Lego Millennium Falcon Sets” is highlighted.

Phil Haack@phil· Jan 24

A TV displayING a visual promoting a collection titled "The '90s Do the '70s," featuring films like "Boogie Nights" and "Dazed and Confused." The background is a still from Dave’s and Confused.

Phil Haack@phil· Jan 6

SCII, hands down.

Phil Haack@phil· Dec 18

feels good man

Screenshot of court document reading: “Pursuant to Federal Rule of Civil Procedure 58, and in accordance with the Jury's unanimous verdict and the entirety of the record, the Court hereby ORDERS and ENTERS JUDGEMENT as follows:
1. Defendant has not infringed the Asserted Claims.
2. All of the Asserted Claims are invalid.
3. Under Federal Rule of Civil Procedure 54(d), Local Rule CV-54, and 28 U.S.C. § 1920, Defendant is the prevailing party in this case and shall recover its costs from Plaintiffs”

Phil Haack@phil· Oct 21

The cider is going like gangbusters!

Phil Haack@phil· Oct 11

Words I have lived by.

Hand-lettered sign that reads: “¿Las abdominales son buenas pero has probado los Tacos?” or “Abs are good but have you tried Tacos?

Phil Haack@phil· Oct 8

My "Please don’t murder my children" sign has people asking a lot of questions already answered by my sign.

An orange and yellow sign that says “We're Walkin' & Rollin' to School,” “Look Out & Slow Down for Us”

There is a silhouette of a helmeted child biking in the left corner.

Phil Haack@phil· Oct 5

Surprisingly good parenting advice from the construction site.

A sign that reads: “Remember the 5 Red Flag events that lead to incidents:
- In a Hurry
- Change in Personnel
- Deviation from Plan
- Communication Breakdown
- Lack of / Improper Use of Tools or Equipment

Phil Haack@phil· Sep 10

Seems in violation of at least the spirit of 37 CFR § 1.11.

§ 1.11 Files open to the public.
(a) The specification, drawings, and all papers relating to the file of: A published application; a patent; or a statutory invention registration are open to inspection by the public, and copies may be obtained upon the payment of the fee set forth in § 1.19(b)(2).

Phil Haack@phil· Aug 17

Phil Haack@phil· Aug 14

I think the next chart helps explain; people are being assaulted at home by people they know. I wonder how much of that is partner violence.

Chart showing that “violent criminals usually know their victims, with the two largest categories being “known to victim, not family,” and “family member.” Those represent about 3 million of 4 million data points.

Phil Haack@phil· Jun 25

Horrifying.

A ChatGPT rendering of Nathan Lane as The Judge but with a big smile.

Phil Haack@phil· Jun 25

I’m dying.

A ChatGPT rendering of Nathan Lane as The Judge.

Phil Haack@phil· Jun 13

It’s a lot of work to carry your four-year-old at 10,000 feet, but the view was worth it.

A scenic view from Alberta Falls in Rocky Mountain National Park, taken from a rocky ledge overlooking a densely forested valley and distant mountains under a partly cloudy sky. A waterfall is churning in the foreground.

Phil Haack@phil· Jun 10

In times like these, I appreciate supportive software like 7-Zip.

Screenshot of terminal text output from 7-zip, reading in relevant part “Everything is Ok”

Phil Haack@phil· Apr 28

I just discovered that you can trivially replace the sleeping/off image on a Kobo. I’m pleased.

An e-reader displaying a graphic of a skeleton reading a book, accompanied by the text "ONE MORE CHAPTER." The device is resting on a person's lap, with denim jeans visible in the frame.

Phil Haack@phil· Mar 18

Stills showing a scene from My Cousin Vinny. The judge, in a black robe, asks “Didn't I tell you to turn those planes around and stop deporting people?” while Vinny, appearing surprised, responds “You were serious about that?”

Phil Haack@phil· Nov 22

I love sculpture, and I think the first time I realized it was when I saw The Burghers of Calais in college. Walking among the statutes, recognizably human and yet distorted with anguish and starvation, was like a smack in the face.