Christopher Horn (@platypusranch) · DIRTY

Christopher Horn

@platypusranch

Avid doodler. Soldier of Misfortune.

115 Folgt270 Follower1.271 Posts

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Christopher Horn@platypusranch· 6d

An old sketch of leather enthusiast Mario.

Mario wearing leather chaps, hat, chest harness, and upper arm bands. He has a 5 o'clock shadow and is punching his right fist skyward.

Christopher Horn@platypusranch· 7d

Wild! I got such a text this morning.

A screenshot of a text that reads:

Hey, it's David. Curious what you think about America's relationship with Israel today. Can we chat? Stop2End
10:07 AM

Christopher Horn@platypusranch· 7d

Witness my 17"+ albino carrot!

A very long white carrot held at arm's length.

Christopher Horn@platypusranch· 12d

I hear the ghost of Col. Potter.

A close up on a package of turkey testicles, 0.88lbs at $7.89/lb. for a total of $6.94. the sticker says "thank you so much" at the bottom.

Christopher Horn@platypusranch· 12d

Couque D'asses? Don't mind if I do.

A package of Couque D'asses

Christopher Horn@platypusranch· 17d

The fruits of my dang labor, man.

Three zucchini, five muncher cucumber, six picklebush cucumber, and eight large cherry tomatoes.

Christopher Horn@platypusranch· 19d

The sunflower I'm growing is now developing numerous heads. The bees seem to be enjoying it.

A sunflower with multiple heads.

A sunflower with three blooming heads. Many other heads are forming.

Christopher Horn@platypusranch· 19d

Sultry.

100°F
Feels Like 117°F

Christopher Horn@platypusranch· 25d

I planted two sunflowers in my garden this season. One got completely destroyed by a bad hailstorm. The other survived, but was in really rough shape; it had only two sets of very tattered leaves toward the top. The rest were stripped off. It's now about 8'4" tall and the main head has bloomed.

A photograph looking up at a sunflower against a clear, blue sky.

Christopher Horn@platypusranch· Jul 13

BEHOLD! A zucchini.

A large zucchini from my garden. In the background is a set of those big wooden utensils people hang on the wall for some reason consisting of a large fork, a spoon, a knife, and a smaller fork.

Christopher Horn@platypusranch· Jul 12

Set a course for adventure.

A turtle with a captain's hat traversing a body of water. On its back is a lackadaisical frog wearing a fez. On the frog's back is a snail wearing an older style stars and stripes motorcycle helmet and mirrored sunglasses.

Christopher Horn@platypusranch· Jul 9

My search for a career as an intelligent designer continues to be fruitless.

A creature that appears to have head/body like a forked tongue. It has two elephant-like legs and a single, large eye on the top. There are some smooth tentacles on the back. It has an open, slightly snarling mouth with janky teeth.

Christopher Horn@platypusranch· Jul 5

One of my favorite things about gardening is growing fucked up carrots.

A fucked up carrot.

Christopher Horn@platypusranch· Jul 3

SpongeBOB.

Spongebob Squarepants as BOB from Twin Peaks, climbing over the back of a sofa, staring at the viewer with a crazed look.

Christopher Horn@platypusranch· Jul 2

You want to see something crazy? On the right is a 5lb bag of Albanese pink grapefruit gummy bears I bought my wife a week and a half ago. $7!

A 5lb bag of Sour Patch Kids for $6.75 and a 5lb bag of Albanese pink grapefruit gummy bears for $7.00.

Christopher Horn@platypusranch· Jun 25

An old drawing from a dated reference: the Jerseyshorus.

A T-Rex type of dinosaur wearing a gold cross and sunglasses. It has frosted, spiked hair on top of its head and it is pumping its little fist.

Christopher Horn@platypusranch· Jun 23

Metal Slug.

A slug sticking out its tongue and throwing "the horns." It is wearing a denim vest and its shell is a human skull with eyes in the sockets.

Christopher Horn@platypusranch· Jun 17

♫ If I could tunbaq time! ♫

Two ships trapped in ice. There is a tall, upright bear-like creature smiling toward the viewer. A severed leg is next to it.

Christopher Horn@platypusranch· Jun 13

Casually dropping hints to my sons.

An old ad for JCPenny. There is an illustration of a man wearing a short-sleeved jumpsuit sitting on a chair with a leg crossed. Main copy reads "Happy Father's Day. Say it with a great jumpsuit. Special 15.99"

Christopher Horn@platypusranch· Jun 13

Nomnomnom.

A snake eating its tail. It is wearing a bib with a picture of a snake on it.

Christopher Horn@platypusranch· Jun 12

The Australian centaur.

A kangaroo wearing flip-flops (or "thongs"); from the neck up is a man from the waist up. He has a mullet and is holding a can of beer in each hand.

Christopher Horn@platypusranch· Jun 10

Fungal infection.

A pudgy, impish creature running toward the viewer in a panic. There are mushrooms growing from under of fat and from holes in its body.

Christopher Horn@platypusranch· Jun 8

Awhile back, I was noodling around with alternative centaur-style configurations.

A half alligator/half man playing bass guitar.

Christopher Horn@platypusranch· Jun 6

The Kool-Aid Man of Finland.

The Kool-Aid Man leaning against a brick wall. He is wearing tight jeans tucked in to leather boots, leather arm bracers, and a leather cap. He has a large crotch bulge.

Christopher Horn@platypusranch· Jun 4

Banana hammock.

An anthropomorphic banana relaxing in a hammock. It is holding a canned beverage with a pinky out.

Christopher Horn@platypusranch· Jun 3

He don't drive too fast.

A large tapir driving a vintage convertible Cadillac.

Christopher Horn@platypusranch· Jun 2

Gardenposting: it's peatime.

A large handful of peas on a table.

Christopher Horn@platypusranch· Jun 1

Mushroom hunters.

Two anthropomorphic mushrooms wearing vests and boots. Each is holding their own over/under shotgun.

Christopher Horn@platypusranch· May 30

Nobody with a good car needs to be justified.

A Ratfinkian pig with bulgy eyes and lolling tongue driving a hot rod pickle car.

Christopher Horn@platypusranch· May 28

Ribbit.

A human head monster. It has human limbs growing out of the head in a frog-like configuration. The eyes are bulging, the nostrils are flared, and it is sticking its tongue out slightly.